Hoist the Jolly Roger @ No 10

"Ah Ha, mi Hearties! Shiver mi timbers!" Arturo closed one eye. I wasn't sure whether he had been at the sherry or was ill!

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm lookin' for pieces of eight, mi old shipmate!" He peered at me. "You haven't been keeping up with the news, Butch, have you?" I shook my head. "Well, take a look at the laptop over there! Maybe you'll get the piracy analogy then!"

I peered at the screen. There was an article; it was Re:Locate the online magazine for HR, Global Managers & Relocation Professionals. Not Arturo's usual daily news diet, you understand. But - there must be something of interest here. The headline looked somewhat dull:

PM David Cameron promises to remove bureaucracy to help businesses

Suppressing a yawn, I read on:

In his address to the CBI Annual Conference, Prime Minister David Cameron said the government will embark on radical reforms to speed up the way it takes key decisions in order to help boost economic growth.

Blah! Blah! Blah! Same old 'Boy David' Cameron spinning himself into a dangerous web of PR again!. However, Arturo was eying me closely, so I went on reading:

The PM unveiled a four-pronged strategy to “eliminate bureaucratic rubbish” and dismantle some of the procedures that had slowed down economic growth, he told business leaders.

A four-pronged strategy to “eliminate bureaucratic rubbish”. Careful, 'Boy David', I thought. There are many, even in your own party who think you're little better than rubbish yourself. But I still did not get the piracy rant from Arturo. Then - then I spotted it:

In a wide-ranging keynote speech, Mr Cameron said the UK was in the “economic equivalent of war” but hailed signs that Britain was again “selling to the world”. “Frankly, we need this buccaneering, deal-making, hungry spirit now more than ever,” he said.

http://www.relocatemagazine.com/corporate-finance-a-tax/finance-a-tax-news-corporate/6593-pm-david-cameron-promises-to-remove-bureaucracy-to-help-businesses

At last - was this what Arturo was on about? Buccaneering? Long John Silver and all that? 'Buccaneering' - did 'Boy David Cameron envisage us all as 21st century Blackbeards?

Then, I noticed another tab. I moved to the next story. A page from the Telegraph was displayed. The headline read:

David Cameron: I want privilege for all:

Didn't sound piratical to me - sounded more like advertising for Eton College. Anyway, the article by Robert Winnett appeared on 10 October 2012. This was hardly up-to-date, cutting edge news. However, dutifully, I continued reading:

In his speech to the Conservative Party conference in Birmingham, Mr Cameron said his aim was not to defend “privilege” but “spread it” by giving everyone the help he has enjoyed in life.

So far, nothing interesting here. Just the usual old PR. I went on reading:

The country is the “most enterprising, buccaneering, creative, dynamic nation on earth” and can recover from the economic crisis with “individual effort and aspiration”, the Prime Minister said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9600468/David-Cameron-I-want-privilege-for-all.html

There it was again:

buccaneering

It seems as though Cameron has had buccaneering on the brain for over a month! Poor bloke!!

I decided to look up the definition of a 'buccaneer'. The Oxford Dictionary defines the word as follows:

a pirate, originally one operating in the Caribbean:

a person who acts in a recklessly adventurous and often unscrupulous way, especially in business:

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/buccaneer?q=buccaneer

So, does 'Boy David' Cameron really want us all to act in a:

recklessly adventurous and often unscrupulous way, especially in business

Oh dear! It seems our Prime Minister, him upstairs, has been watching a few too many re-runs of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' or reading 'Treasure Island' too often to his children. But whatever the explanation, it is rather ridiculous. I am sure you will agree that advocating 'buccaneering' as the solution to achieve anything - is wrong! Most buccaneers ended up by being hanged - possibly drawn and quartered too! Not a fate to recommend to the UK businessman, Mr Cameron.

"Ah Ha, Mi Hearty," Arturo exclaimed, "The Boy's really gone and shivered his timbers this time!"

Arturo's right, of course. Prime Minister Cameron would do better to read the King James Bible and exhort us all to:

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Proverbs 6:6

Of course, there is another explanation for Cameron's buccaneering fixation. He finds himself surrounded by buccaneering MPs and Ministers who are doing 'very nicely, thank you' for themselves in a buccaneering sort of way. Channel 4's programme 'Dispatches', highlighted the goings on relating to expenses within the corridors of power in the House of Commons! Their shenanigans would put even Blackbeard to shame for being a paltry pirate.

Antony Barnett presented the programme in which he took a tour around London and its outskirts showing the second homes, rented apartments and millionaire residences of some of these 'buccaneering' MPs and Ministers! The Channel 4 website included the following:

Channel 4's Dispatches will reveal:

Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude is still claiming thousands of pounds on a second home in central London despite the prime minister's personal pledge Maude would not "claim any money" on his second home.

Equalities Minister Helen Grant is claiming £20,000 a year for a luxury London flat despite owning a £1.8m home in Surrey just 19 miles away from Westminster.

Treasury Minister David Gauke recently sold his second home in central London which the taxpayer helped buy and has kept a profit of more than £20,000.

John Whittingdale, chairman of the House of Commons Culture, Media and Sport select committee has moved out of a second home which the taxpayer helped fund and is renting it out for £400 a week. He is now claiming expenses for renting out a property nearby.

http://www.channel4.com/news/new-expenses-row-as-at-least-32-mps-claim-for-rent

So we have some examples of swashbucklers well known to 'Boy David' Cameron! No wonder he was saying to the businessmen:

we need this buccaneering, deal-making, hungry spirit now more than ever

Arturo and I are off to find some sardine heads from the kitchen. Couldn't quite see if the Jolly Roger was flying from the Downing Street chimney!

'Bye'

Eton rules - but not OK @ No 10

"I don't believe it!" Arturo exclaimed. "Another old Etonian hits the high spots! Talk about 'Jolly boating weather' and 'Pull, pull together'!"

I listened more closely to the programme on the radio that Arturo was listening to with great intensity. The item? The future Archbishop of Canterbury!

I understood now what Arturo was gabbling on about. The new Archbishop of Canterbury is to be Justin Welby, the Bishop of Durham. So! What's surprising about that, do I hear you ask? Well - look at his biographical details:

Educated at Eton College before going to Trinity College, Cambridge to study history and law.

Ah Ha! Where have I heard that phrase 'Educated at Eton College' before? Just think about it. Can't think? Well look at this:

'Boy David' Cameron' Prime Minister, 'Educated at Eton College'

'Georgy' Gideon Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, 'Educated at Eton College'

Sir George 'Gloomy' Young, Chief Whip, 'Educated at Eton College'

Oliver 'Snake in the grass' Letwin, Minister for Government Policy, 'Educated at Eton College'

Nicholas 'Call me Nick' Hurd, Parliamentary Secretary, Cabinet Office, 'Educated at Eton College'

Hugo 'Love me do' Swire, Minister of State, Foreign and Commonwealth Office, 'Educated at Eton College'

Philip 'No Claims' Dunne, Parliamentary Under Secretary of State, Ministry of Defence, 'Educated at Eton College'

William 'Call me Bill' Wiggin, Assistant Government Whip, 'Educated at Eton College'

Wow! And that's not counting the 'Posh Boys' who went to Eton who are in the House of Lords! Of course, there is one other jolly old chap who we really could not omit from any list of influential Old Etonians and that is: Give him a big hand, yours truly:

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, none other than 'Mop Head' Boris, Mayor of London, 'Educated at Eton College'

So, with all this VERY expensive education behind these leading lights, you would expect the UK to be flourishing, wouldn't you? But note this:

The Office for Budget Responsibility says:

Budget deficit ... still up on last year: Public sector net borrowing was £2.7 billion higher in the first six months of the fiscal year than in the equivalent period in 2011-12.

http://budgetresponsibility.independent.gov.uk/

The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) stated:

Unemployment will continue to rise over the projection period, due to job cuts in public administration and weak output growth.

http://www.oecd.org/eco/economicoutlookanalysisandforecasts/unitedkingdom-economicforecastsummarymay2012.htm

And this was the Government that reckoned it would put the UK on its economic feet! Some feet!

It's not just the UK economy that's in a mess, however. In the 21st century, there is still no agreement about a 'living wage'. Thousands of people are being paid below what is considered to be sufficient to live on.

The so-called reform of the NHS has caused dismay across large swathes of the country. Private health providers are licking their lips at the prospect of making a fast buck from the tattered service.

The English education system is in disarray. Academies and 'Free Schools' are springing up in areas where there is already social division. The English Language GCSE results have left pupils with a distrust of the examination marking system.

The Armed Forces are being cut to a shadow. Soldiers who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan are finding themselves cast aside.

There have been so many U-Turns in policy, since the present government came to power that all UK inhabitants are in a flat spin!

SO - where did all this VERY expensive education at Eton go wrong? Not enough Problem Solving Lessons? Possibly the Mathematics masters forgot to teach the pupils basic adding up and taking away. The Chancellor and Prime Minister certainly don't seem to know 'how many beans make two?'

One thing their VERY expensive education did teach them was Public Relations (PR). But PR is only the ability to utter meaningless soundbites! Hence, the mess the country is in!

So, all in all, Arturo and I aren't too sure of the value to the country of being 'Educated at Eton College'. The individuals concerned have acquired the skills of being able to climb up the greasy pole to advance themselves. But, the country certainly reaps no rewards; quite the contrary in fact. Maybe, just maybe, the new Archbishop of Canterbury will be the exception that proves the rule. Let's hope so!

As for two old alley cats like me and Arturo, although we started life in the gutter, we too have positions of power in Downing Street! Now that is what I call real social mobility!

'Bye'

Posh Boys & not so Posh Pussies - @ No 10

"I'll bet 'Boy David' Cameron is longing for a quiet weekend at Chequers." Arturo chuckled somewhat maliciously, I thought.

However - it has been quite a week for the 'Posh Boys' of Downing Street. 'Georgy' Osborne is keeping a lower profile than usual and trying to stay away from trains. I suppose this is after the fiasco of his Standard Class rail ticket being used whilst he was sitting in a First Class compartment! Tut! Tut! One would hope that a Chancellor of the Exchequer knew that it costs a few pounds more to take that liberty!! Still - being a 'Posh Boy' he has probably always had tickets bought for him. However - this is not the first time, no siree; he's done it before. Maybe 'Posh Boys' never learn!

This week, 'Georgy' Osborne has been given a lesson in how to promote growth in the UK regional economy by Tarzan! Incredible, do I hear you say? Ah! The Tarzan in question is none other than Lord Heseltine the former mace-wielding MP who really 'did for' Maggie Thatcher. He wasn't nicknamed 'Tarzan' for either of those feats but for his unruly blonde locks reminiscent of a wild man of the woods! However, to get to the point - Heseltine produced a report this week that won praise from many for stating what 'Georgy' should have been saying many months ago! Tarzan wrote in his introduction:

NO STONE UNTURNED

One man’s vision

The Government should set out a comprehensive strategy for national wealth creation, defining its view of its own role – and the limits of that role – together with those of others in local authorities, public bodies and the private sector.

This report makes 89 recommendations.

Some will say they are criticisms.

That is exactly the wrong approach.

To invite criticism is a sign of strength.

To accept it is a sign of confidence.

We are all too close to the economic crisis.

There is opportunity on a grand scale.

Huge infrastructure demands and hungry institutional funds – link them.

Excellence in industry, commerce, academia – extend it.

England’s cities pulsing with energy – unleash it.

Every one of us needs to rise to the challenge.

www.bis.gov.uk/.../12-1213-no-stone-unturned-in-pursuit-of-growth

In the report, Heseltine covers a wide variety of areas including an analysis of the economic crisis, localism, Whitehall, Government and growth, education and skills and finally a description of 'Making it happen'

Why on earth didn't 'Boy David' Cameron, the Prime Minister and 'Georgy' Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, have the nouse to think of these ideas themselves!

Thomas Pascoe writing in the Telegraph said:

Bravo, Lord Heseltine, for saying what Britain has needed to hear for a long time

He ended his blog:

Lord Heseltine is one of a dwindling number of survivors from a generation which did, rather than looked for excuses not to do. His report is a serious challenge to our industrial policy and I hope it is greeted by affirming actions, not merely affirming words.

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/finance/thomaspascoe/100021044/bravo-lord-heseltine-for-saying-what-britain-has-needed-to-hear-for-a-long-time/

How both Cameron and Osborne long for such kind words to be written about them!

Instead of kind words, Cameron suffered his first parliamentary defeat in the House of Commons over the EU Budget! The worry for him must be that it was his own backbenchers who caused the defeat. In fact, he was even compared to 'John Major', the former Conservative PM who was torn to bits by anti-EU Conservatives. The Huff Post reported:

Speaking during Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday, Miliband mocked Cameron's inability to control his own MPs.

"He can't convince European leaders, he can't even convince his own backbenchers. He is weak abroad he is weak at home, it's John Major over again," he said.

He added: "How can he be giving up on a cut in the EU budget before the negotiations have begun?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/10/31/miliband-cameron-as-weak-as-john-major-over-europe_n_2048923.html

So, that's why Arturo reckons the 'Posh Boys' must be longing for a retreat to the country! Of course, there's possibly another reason. A reason close to Arturo's and to my heart!! There was serious caterwauling in Downing Street, last week! The Telegraph reported:

Police called to break up violent cat fight in Downing Street: Larry the Downing Street cat and Freya, the Chancellor's moggy, go at it hammer and tongs on the steps of No 10.

Beneath the headline was a blood-curdling image of our old Larry being dealt a truly 'knock-out' blow from Freya, Georgy's errant moggy! If you want to see it, go to: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/9611897/Police-called-to-break-up-violent-cat-fight-in-Downing-Street.html

Not a pretty sight!

As for me and Arturo, we're dining in tonight! Larry is in disgrace upstairs at No 10. Freya is in her cat basket. So we have the run of the place!

'Bye'

More Omnishambles! @ No 10

"He's done it again," Arturo chuckled.

"Done what?" I asked

"Engaged his mouth before using his brain!"

The 'he', in question, was none other than our 'Boy David' Cameron. He really did use his mouth without consulting his brain at Prime Minister's Questions, this week. The furore has yet to die down!

On Wednesday, at PMQs, he was asked by MP, Chris Williamson, what action he would take:

to help people reduce their energy bills

The Prime Minister, in somewhat of a flurried state, announced:

We have encouraged people to switch, which is one of the best ways to get energy bills down. I can announce, which I am sure the hon. Gentleman will welcome, that we will be legislating so that energy companies have to give the lowest tariff to their customers

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm121017/debtext/121017-0001.htm#12101758000008

Now - that was some statement: "we will be legislating so that energy companies have to give the lowest tariff to their customers"! Praises rang out through the Nation! Energy companies, whose profits have been doing 'very nicely thank you', would be brought kicking and screaming into giving out fair deals! So that's alright then!

Is it, really? Nothing is ever quite straightforward with this ConDem Government! There have been endless u-turns to policy announcements - too many to list! So! Was this latest Prime Ministerial statement going to herald another such u-turn? Let's see ...

Poor old Ed Davey, Minister of State for Energy, must have been bemused by his Boss announcing energy policy without being forewarned! He was happily addressing the CBI one day after the Prime Ministerial bombshell. Had to be a bit careful, didn't he? Did't want to upset the apple-cart, as they say! So - what exactly did 'Poor Old' Ed Davey say? He said of those dastardly 'Big Six' Energy Companies:

They will have to tell their customers every year what is the best available tariff

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/energy/9616950/Energy-policy-shambles-as-David-Cameron-and-Ed-Davey-outline-opposing-plans.html

No mention of the beloved PMs words "... have to give their lowest tariff"! Clever bit of footwork - or rather mouth-work - by 'Poor Old' Ed Davey who must have had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach!

The plot thickened still further. There was another creature who was landed in the mess even more than 'Poor Old' Ed Davey. That was the actual Minister for Energy himself John Hayes! Whilst his boss, the Secretary of State was no doubt eating caviar with the CBI, Hayes was left to face the full force of questioning in the House of Commons, from Caroline Flint, Shadow Energy Secretary.

To be fair he gave, like the Winnie-the-Pooh lookalike that he is, a rather endearing performance! He stumbled through his answers without giving any indication he had a clue about what the PM had announced.

This was what Caroline Flint said:

Yesterday, the Prime Minister threw energy policy into confusion, causing chaos — I ask the Secretary of State to make a statement on the matter.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm121018/debtext/121018-0001.htm#12101828000004

Hayes, in his best 'Winnie-the-Pooh' voice, replied:

Following the Prime Minister’s announcement yesterday, I am pleased to confirm that we will be bringing forward legislation to help energy consumers to get the best deal. We have already regulated, we have plans to improve competition and simplify tariffs in the retail market process, and we will improve liquidity and competition in the wholesale market, through the Energy Bill, in weeks rather than months. A number of options are being considered... This is a complicated area, and we will have discussions with the industry, consumer groups and the regulator in order to work through the detail.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm121018/debtext/121018-0001.htm#12101828000004

Poor John Hayes!! As an article in 'Power Engineering' stated:

Mr Hayes admitted he did not know the Prime Minister was planning to announce legislation to force energy companies to offer consumers the lowest possible tariff.

http://www.power-eng.com/news/2012/10/19/cameron-intervention-caused-chaos.html

Arturo was beside himself with glee at this 'omnishambles'. He told me:

"You know, mi old pal! 'Boy David' Cameron is a well trained PR man! He delights in having the skills of a Public Relations expert. But in my youth, I knew a doctor who used to write on his prescriptions when appropriate, 'to be given PR'. Do you know what 'PR' meant, in that context?"

I shook my innocent head. I knew Arturo would enlighten me! He always does. He continued:

"PR, in medical parlance, means 'per rectum'. In other words medicine is given via the patient's bum! Now you and I know, don't we, that things come out of your bum as well! The pity is that 'Boy David' Cameron obviously gets his mouth and bum confused!

Now that really is food for thought! It's more omnishambles at No 10!

Talking of food - we're going to the kitchen of a nice little Italian restaurant tonight!

'Ciao!'

Posh boys still rule - but not OK @ No 10

So - the party conference season has come and gone. It has been quiet for Arturo and me in the corridors of Downing Street. The rats and mice had a great time gobbling up the fancy leftovers from the kitchen floors of Nos 10 and 11. Then, we rounded up old Larry and caught the lot of them!

Arturo and I settled down by the TV to watch 'Georgy' Osborne give his speech. A pretty dismal performance. 'Georgy' kept nodding his head in total agreement with himself. He was reminiscent of one of those 'nodding dogs' - particularly bulldogs - who sit on the rear shelves of cars. He had the same hapless look and pleading eyes as if begging for a pat on the head from his Boss! Instead, we expect he got a kick up the ar** the next day when the IMF published its figures on the UK economy!

The Boss man himself prepared to give his speech after the much applauded, pantomime performance of 'Mop Head' Johnson. Arturo and I noticed that the make-up artists who strive to give Cameron the orange-glow of virility had opted for a new look. Seldom have I seen such a thick layer of pale gunge plastered on 'Boy David' Cameron's face! It contrasted rather starkly with the remnants of the orange-glow from his neck and the purple of his tie! Arturo ventured to suggest that it had been applied so that he looked like one of the 'sickly plebs' so despised by the Chief Whip.

After all as Arturo said:

"The NEETS (Not in Education, Employment or Training) are starving and cold - so the PM had better look like they do, as well - a great vote-catcher that! It's known as the sympathy vote!"

A tad cynical, I thought - but then again ...

The Cameron speech was not a thrilling theatrical moment though it was full of PR phrases:

Though the challenge before us is daunting, I have confidence in our country. Why? Because Britain can deliver. We can do big things. We saw it this summer. The Jubilee, the Olympics, the Paralympics... the best country in the world..

Now that got them on their feet! Good bit of PR there! But there was more to come! Knowing the popularity of the 'Mop Head', the PR man that is Cameron knew he had to bite the bullet so he referred to him in the following terms:

..the zinger on the zip-wire...the Conservative Mayor of London: our Boris Johnson.

Note the 'our'! Clever stuff that!

Now down to the nitty-gritty! 'Our' 'Boy David' had declared himself a passionate supporter of the NHS. What would he say now - now that it is in tatters! He said:

To all those people who said we'd bring the NHS down...I say...well, yes, you've got a point. I'll tell you what is down.

Waiting lists - down. Mixed wards - down. The number of managers - down. Bureaucratic targets - down. Hospital infections - down.

And what's up? The number of doctors, the number of dentists, the number of midwives, the number of operations carried out in our NHS.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/conservative-party-conference-2012-in-birmingham-full-transcript-of-david-camerons-speech-8205536.html

Now that had them all cheering in the serried ranks of the great Tory backwaters! But the truth - the truth, Mr Cameron, is rather different! The NHS is 'down'. It's not quite 'down and out' but almost. As the following blog pointed out:

* South London Healthcare Trust * Mid Staffordshire Trust * Peterborough and Stamford Trust

The three Trusts above are perilously close to being broken up and sold off to private companies. South London & Mid Staffordshire FTs are already in administration & Peterborough looks set to follow that way at Christmas. ... Among those reporting an interest were Virgin Care and Serco. If the deals were 10 year Franchises like Hinchingbrooke, it could mean the tendering of up to £4.5bn of services in South London alone. Mid Staffs sell off could lead to up to £2bn of services being sold off. Peterborough is not quite there yet but Circle Healthcare have identified it as a Trust that they see themselves in with a chance of taking over. The 3 large Foundation Trusts listed above are on the brink of being broken up and sold off to varying degrees. We will begin to hear of the plans for South London in the next fortnight.

http://eoin-clarke.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/view-nhs-trusts-facing-franchise.html

So, "Yes, Prime Minister!" It was fitting that you put on the whey-faced stance! The orange-glow of your normal look would have turned a nasty shade of beige when you said:

So be in no doubt: this is the party of the NHS and that's the way it's going to stay.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/conservative-party-conference-2012-in-birmingham-full-transcript-of-david-camerons-speech-8205536.html

I asked Arturo what score he would have given 'Boy David' for his performance if the speech had been the equivalent of dancing the tango on Strictly Come Dancing!

"On delivery - I'd have given 3 out of 10. On factual accuracy, I'd have given him zilch!"

Wise old cat is Arturo! With 'Boy David' and wife away, we decided to forgo a 'kitchen supper'. I'll treat him to a fish-pie at the corner cafe tonight!

'Bye'

Surely not Big Brother @ No 10

"This party conference season gets on my tits!" Arturo stated firmly. "They're all acting like salesmen selling themselves as brands!"

He is right, you know. Last week we had the unedifying figure of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg being prepared to say or do anything to gain love and affection. All rather pathetic really. At the end of the week, everyone hated him just the same. Humiliation and grovelling are not in Clegg's known vocabulary.

This week, it's Labour's opportunity to try to shine. Will they succeed any better? Who knows! However, they do have one thing going for them - a large juicy lead in the opinion polls. Now that is something not to be sniffed at!

Ed 'Gromit-lookalike' Miliband has started well by telling everyone that he knows how to handle the banks and those 'swine' bankers! Great news! But saying he will and actually doing it are not one and the same thing. Still, Arturo and I were cheered by this.

All that Ed 'Gromit-lookalike' Miliband needs to do now is to agree with the letter writers in the Guardian who wrote:

We urge delegates and conference organisers to help ensure the essential content of the resolutions is discussed, voted on and passed, and all parts of the Labour party to join with health workers' unions and health campaigners to defend the NHS against the Tories' assault.

www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/28/labour-policy-waiting-game>

Of course, the real expert salesmen are the Tories. Most have not been used car salesman or double-glazing reps - their daddies probably owned the companies. But 'Boy David' Cameron, 'Georgy' Osborne et al still have to sell themselves! Cameron has even tried to 'sell' himself to the Americans and Brazilians. Janet Daley of the Telegraph was not impressed:

There was a headline on one of the television news channel websites last week which read (this is an exact quote): “PM David Cameron addressed the UN on the need to support the Arab Spring, before appearing on the Letterman show”. Does anybody else see the incongruity here? What if it had said, “Prime Minister offers plan for world peace before doing limbo dance with banana balanced on his nose”? We have now apparently reached the point where a major national leader’s stint on a comedy programme has pretty much the same political news value as an intervention in the most dangerous global conflict of our time.

This came under the headline : 'Likeability’ is the bane of modern politics: Clowning around on a chat show, or even being a devoted Dad, may count for less than having a serious grasp of economic reality.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9575605/Likeability-is-thebane-of-modern-politics.html

Janet Daley's comments are sad but true. What must Cameron, Clegg and Miliband do to ensure they lead their parties into the next Election? Easy! Get picked for Big Brother!!! Shush! Quietly now! They mustn't let 'Mop Head' Johnson hear that! He already thinks he's on Big Brother everyday - and we all know how popular he is!

Arturo and I are dining in tonight - we're rodent hunting.

'Bye'

Clegg's Machinations @ No 10

"Pity we're not in Brighton." Arturo said. "Even all this rain wouldn't deter me from trotting down the jolly old prom to hear the latest examples of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg's machinations!"

And it is raining! It's pouring! The sky is black, the air is chill! The birds are shivering in the rose-garden! But Arturo is wrong about one thing. We don't have to be in Brighton in person. We can watch the horrors as they unfold on the tele! And horrors they sure are!

Our 'Wailing Lad' has wailed his apology to the students before our very eyes! Mark you, he had a good speech trainer! His words were almost - almost - the right ones - but not quite. His words were somehow 'hollow'. They smacked of the tones of a desperate man seeking to hold on to his position as Leader of the Liberal Democrats!

It seems that the whispering about a possible challenger for his role as head of the beleaguered party persuaded him to utter the words that must have stuck in his teeth: 'I'm sorry!'

Patrick Wintour writing in the Guardian under the headline 'Nick Clegg's much-mocked mea culpa shows he plans to remain as leader' stated:

Clegg is not apologising for breaking the pledge, but for making it in the first place. He also insisted, possibly unwisely, that the pledge "was made with the best of intentions".

The difficulty here is that the pledge given to the National Union of Students not to vote for any increase in tuition fees in the coming parliament was in truth a pretty grubby act designed to garner some student votes. Many senior party figures opposed it as such at the time.

So - 'Wailing Lad' is again running true to form. The 'pretty grubby act designed to garner some student votes' is not so dissimilar from the 'grubby' reasons for apologising now! He wants to stay in power!

Wintour continued:

Lofty words were spoken by Clegg at the manifesto launch on how every pledge, including the one to phase out tuition fees over six years, had been costed.

He said: "There is one other major innovation in this manifesto. We have scrutinised public spending line by line, and found the savings we need to pay for all of our priorities as Vince [Cable] explained …

"I believe this is the first time a political party has spelled out its figures, line by line, right there in its manifesto. Turn to page 100. The figures are there for everyone to see. We know how every policy will be paid for. These are promises you can trust …"

But on the BBC's Newsnight on Wednesday Cable said he had always been personally sceptical about the affordability of the pledge, adding that "it was an unwise commitment to have made".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/20/nick-clegg-plans-to-remain-leader?intcmp=239

Of course, this does not reflect well on 'Invincible' Vince Cable and other senior LibDems either. If they knew the figures didn't add up - why on earth let the so-called 'pledge' go through? But then, this is politics! As Arturo said to me this morning: "You don't expect the Devil to take off his horns! Why expect a politician to act other than perfidiously?"

Very cynical but true!

Arturo and I are going to keep our paws dry! We'll be watching TV and munching anchovies!

'Bye'