April Fools @ No. 10

"Watch out, Butch, the ceiling's falling down!" Arturo yelled. When I jumped, he let out a chuckle: "April Fool!"

I had forgotten it was April Fool's Day! One look at the papers and a half hour listening to the BBC Radio 4 programme 'Today' made it obvious that there were more than a few real April Fools right here in Downing Street.

For instance, yesterday morning, whilst I was dozing, I heard the dulcet tones of 'Silent Man' Iain Duncan Smith - Work & Pensions Secretary. Only he wasn't quite so silent. He was waxing eloquent about how he could

live off £53 a week 'if I had to'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21993453

According to my reckoning that's £7.57 a day. Ummmm! Out of that he would have to pay for rent, food and travel! Let's just suppose he's happy using Shanks's pony, the cost of shoe repairs doesn't come cheap! Even Boris's Bikes cost £2 for a day! Sandwiches and tea are expensive! Electricity for shaving that smooth chin and pate would soon mount up!

£7.57 a day!! I don't think so, 'Silent Man' Iain Duncan Smith! Perhaps, you'd be better to keep schtum.

But that wasn't the only madness on the great day for practical jokes, no siree! There was an even better one - that is if you like Gallows' Humour.

The joke is that April 1st heralded the much vaunted changes to the NHS! But, it seems no one was celebrating, let alone laughing! An article in The Independent by Owen Jones said it all under the headline:

Farewell to the NHS, 1948-2013: a dear and trusted friend finally murdered by Tory ideologues : This week's 'reforms' of a treasured institution - by people who came to power promising not to mess with it - is yet another sickening assault on the poor by the rich

He wrote:

Nothing is more gut-wrenching than watching a close friend dying in front of you. And I mean beyond close: a friend who brought you into the world, helped raise you, and was there whenever you were most desperately in need. So, spare a moment for our National Health Service. Time of death: midnight, 1st April 2013. Cause of death: murder.

And 'murder' it sure is! For the body of the NHS is not likely to rise again. Owen Jones continued:

From today, strategic health authorities and primary care trusts are formally abolished. Some £60bn of the NHS budget is now in the hands of clinical commissioning groups, supposedly run by GPs. This is a sham, though one which turns local doctors into human shields for the privatisers. In reality, the vast majority of GPs will keep on doing what they do already – looking after patients – while commissioning will be managed by private companies.

He exposed the cynical disemboweling of the once treasured NHS, quoting from several doctors who are appalled at what is happening!

Owen Jones' article went on:

The great sell-off of our NHS is already well under way. Virgin Care now run more than 100 NHS services across the country, from radiology departments to GP clinics. Last year, they were given a £100m contract to run services in Surrey, and a £130m contract to run key NHS services for young people in Devon. Not that you’d know, of course: services run by the profiteering vultures circling ahead operate under the NHS logo, hiding privatisation from public view.

The final paragraph was poignant:

It was Nye Bevan ... who said “The NHS will last as long as there are folk left with the faith to fight for it”. It is with huge regret that I must say that – however much faith we have – we did not fight to save it. The NHS has been killed, murdered, assassinated by a Tory government. The question now is – do we have enough faith to bring it back to life?

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/farewell-to-the-nhs-19482013-a-dear-and-trusted-friend-finally-murdered-by-tory-ideologues-8555503.html

So there you have it, dear friends! A right old mess on April 1 2013. The 'Silent Man' blowing his mouth off without engaging his brain - if he has one! Aneurin Bevan turning in his grave and caring doctors wringing their hands in despair! Some April Fool's joke!!!

And, overseeing this shambles is 'Boy David' Cameron with talk of the 'Big Society'. What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South!

Arturo was nodding sagely when he heard the comments. Then he said: "April Fool's Day? Blimey, Butch, it's like that every day here in Downing Street!"

Arturo and I discovered an uneaten Easter egg that had rolled under the Cabinet Office table. Large, round and milk chocolate! Yum Yum!

Bye

Something nasty in the woodshed @ No 10

"Wonder if 'Boy David' Cameron knows his Roman history?" Arturo asked. "He'd be well advised to keep his back to the wall not just on the Ides of March but everyday, from now on!"

"Why? Who's out to get him?"

"Who? You'd be better asking: 'Who isn't?'" Arturo chuckled.

He's right, of course. 'Boy David' Cameron has just about alienated everyone. Understandably, Labour loathe him. The LibDems have mixed feelings of jealousy and dislike. But the most sinister people with daggers at the ready are ... can you guess? His own Party members! It's true! Already, they're lining up in their serried ranks to toss him overboard and fill his shoes!

Unlike Labour, the Conservative Party has a long history of back-stabbing its leaders. Just ask Heath and Thatcher!!

For quite some time, the rumours of an ousting have been doing the rounds. As early as November 2011, there were headlines forecasting:

Tory MP 'secretly taped claiming Cameron will be ousted in spring'

Patrick Mercer said to have called PM a 'despicable creature' and 'the worst politician since Gladstone'

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/nov/13/tory-mp-cameron-ousted-spring

But - he survived, didn't he? In fact the threatened 'ousting' did not even surface!

Then, almost exactly one year later - the same rumours started to appear. A headline read:

Tory backbencher reveals plot to oust David Cameron

Bob Stewart says he was approached to run as 'stalking horse' while Zac Goldsmith reportedly offers seat to Boris Johnson

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/09/david-cameron-plot

But 'The Boy' stayed on - nothing daunted! Success with the economy still eluded him! Popularity with the backbenchers was waning fast!

Now, we all know that 'The Boy' has one big characteristic. He's a PR man! And therefore he has all the flaws of other PR men! He just can't keep his mouth shut! Appropriate or not, PR men are born to open their mouths at every opportunity! They seem incapable of letting a sound-bite pass them by! 'Boy David' Cameron exemplifies this superbly!

** When a Tory shouts: "Sell off the forests" - he says: "Sell off the forests"- then he realises there's a furore - he back-tracks!

** Another Tory says "we need a badger cull" - he says: "Let's have a badger cull!" - then he postpones it!

** He announces there will be 'lower energy tariffs' only the next day to cast doubt on it!

** Pasty tax - caravan tax - secret courts - unannounced Ofsted inspections - coastguard centres - the list is a long and winding road!

See the pattern? Our PR man par excellence has never resisted the urge to say what a great idea each and every one was - only to retract them ignominiously!

Here we have a man who knows his own principles - announces them to the world - then drops them! That's what Arturo and I call an ideal political leader - we don't think!

The final charade has just recently been over the Leveson Inquiry. 'Boy David' Cameron implied that victims of hacking and other press misdemeanors would be uppermost in his mind when assessing the conclusions of Lord Leveson. On Wednesday, last week, he suggested that cross-party talks were going well. 'Wailing Lad' Clegg and 'Gromit-Lookalike' Ed Miliband seemed chuffed at the way things were going! Then - wham bang out of the blue:

Those involved in the Leveson talks from the Labour and Lib Dem side say they had no idea the Prime Minister was going to pull the plug on the cross-party discussions this morning until a conference call shortly before David Cameron’s hastily-arranged press conference.

This Spectator blog by Isabel Hardman left no doubt that this amazing turnaround was totally unexpected. The blog continued:

An angry Lib Dem source tells me:

‘It was completely out of the blue to be honest. Over the last few days the talks have been making gal (sic) progress and we were moving towards a deal. We thought a solution was possible.

http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2013/03/david-cameron-brings-leveson-debate-to-a-head-over-bill-hijack-fears/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=david-cameron-brings-leveson-debate-to-a-head-over-bill-hijack-fears

Now this may be a turnaround too far! Although not for all the backwoodsmen in his own Conservative Party who like nothing more than upsetting their Coalition partners.

However, there is still the threat of insurrection in the benches behind him and even on those sitting next to him. 'Leopard-skin Lady' Theresa May has been casting her 'pussy-toes' and 'kitten-heels' into the ring - only to be shooed away by 'Baby-face' Gove. The omens are intriguing - to say the least!

Can 'The Boy' survive? Will 'Georgy' from next door pull out the magic potion that will save his pal in the Budget? Follow this blog, friends, you'll hear it here!

So much excitement - Arturo and I can hardly wait for the outcome - after all the size and contents of the kitchen scraps, we so enjoy, depend on the result.

Bye from us both

'Genius' George! Stop digging the hole! @ No 10

"Did you hear the noise of digging?!" Arturo asked.

"What are you on about? No one digs up the roads at the weekend!" I replied.

"That's what you think! 'Genius Georgy' Osborne - him next door - is digging a hole large enough to swallow the whole country! Just read these." He indicated a series of articles.

Britain's credit rating downgraded from AAA to Aa1: The Government’s economic strategy has been dealt a serious blow after a leading credit ratings agency downgraded UK debt on its expectation that growth will "remain sluggish over the next few years".

That was one headline in the Telegraph. James Hurley wrote:

Moody’s announced on Friday night that it had cut the Government’s bond rating one notch from ‘Aaa’ – the highest possible level – to ‘Aa1’.

The move is a significant setback for Chancellor George Osborne, who has faced criticism that his strategy for dealing with UK’s huge debt burden is failing to deliver.

Hurley added the following comment:

Mr Osborne responded to the downgrade by insisting he would not change course on the Government’s austerity programme.

He called Moody’s decision a “stark reminder of the debt problems facing our country – and the clearest possible warning to anyone who thinks we can run away from dealing with those problems”.

“Far from weakening our resolve to deliver our economic recovery plan, this decision redoubles it.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/9889410/Britains-credit-rating-downgraded-from-AAA-to-Aa1.html

Well, well, well!! There's a fine howdy-do! Just think about it, for a minute or two. Imagine a man observing a small hole that has appeared at one corner of his house. He decides to investigate. He digs up the earth in front, then starts digging down and under the wall. "Hey!! Don't do that, the house looks pretty unstable already", someone shouts from behind him. "It's fine", shouts the man, spade in hand. "I know exactly what I'm doing." He continues digging with zest! Crunch - Crunch - Bang! Down falls the side of the house!

That is basically the scenario the Telegraph article has reported. 'Genius Georgy' Osborne saw a hole in the UK economy, so he began digging! Various agencies shouted warnings. He replied he had a 'plan' and would not deviate from it. The hole got bigger - Osborne still stuck to his plan. The walls are now crumbling. Still he is digging!

Patrick Hennessy, also in the Telegraph, wrote:

Mr Osborne insisted that the Coalition will not change course on the economy, saying the downgrade made it all the more important to stick to attempts to cut Britain’s deficit.

He said: "I think we've got a very clear message, a loud and clear message that Britain cannot let up in dealing with its debts, dealing with its problems, cannot let up in making sure that Britain can pay its way in the world.

"Britain's got a debt problem. I agree with that. I've been telling the country for years that we've got a debt problem, we've got to deal with it.

"What do they also say? That if we abandon our commitment to deal with that debt problem, then our situation would get very much worse and I'm absolutely clear that we must not do that."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/georgeosborne/9889605/George-Osborne-no-let-up-in-plan-to-cut-deficit-after-AAA-downgrade.html

'Genius Georgy' Osborne is in trouble! That is plain for all to see. His Plan A is not working. The walls are really cracking around him. If he doesn't find a Plan A1 or Plan B, then no doubt Moody's will cut their rating still more. The UK will not be AAA or AA1 it will be in free-fall! When you're in a hole, 'Genius George', the sensible thing to do is STOP DIGGING!

Georgy has a Budget coming up! Will he be still digging? Wait for the next exciting instalment, folks!

Meanwhile - Arturo and I are fine dining tonight - left-overs from the caviar tea!

Bye

Where's the beef? @ No. 10

With all the horse-meat kerfuffle going on, Arturo and I have been busy examining every morsel of meat from both the No 11 and No 10 kitchens. Arturo swears he sniffed a whiff of horse-meat from the spaghetti bolognese leftovers put out for me by the cook!! But to cut to the chase, as they say! And I don't mean a steeplechase either! It isn't just beef that's occupied our minds, no siree!

On Valentine's Day, I perused the Guardian and spotted a letter from several academics. They had written about 'Child poverty measures'. What they wrote made both Arturo and me sit up. They wrote:

Tomorrow marks the end of the consultation period for the government's proposals to measure child poverty in a new way. Several of us, fellows of the British Academy, with colleagues, have responded, pointing out the ways in which the proposals are confused and would meet neither the government's objectives nor international standards.

We agree that as well as tracking how many children are in poverty as currently measured, it is helpful to track what is happening to the factors that lead to poverty and the barriers to children's life chances. But it does not make sense to combine all of these into a single measure. To do so would open up the government to the accusation that it aims to dilute the importance of income in monitoring the extent of "poverty" at precisely the time that its policies will be reducing the real incomes of poor families. We call on the government to reconsider its proposals.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/feb/14/child-poverty-government-measures

In the same edition of the Guardian, there was an article on the topic written by Amelia Gentleman. She wrote:

A consultation on how to measure child poverty more accurately that was launched last November, seeking input from charities and experts into "better measures of child poverty", comes to an end on Friday. The government believes that a wider definition of what constitutes poverty will give a better picture of what it means to "grow up experiencing deep disadvantage".

She quotes from the academics' letter and then goes on to add:

Professor Jonathan Bradshaw, the lead consultant on the UK's contribution to Unicef's Child Well-Being report, said he believed that the government was "trying to move the goalposts" at a time when child poverty was increasing rapidly.

He described the consultation document as the worst paper setting down government policy direction he had ever read, questioned whether it was written by civil servants and said it read more like it had been "plagiarised from a right-wing thinktank tract".

Further on, in her article, Amelia Gentleman writes:

In a speech to launch the consultation, Iain Duncan Smith, the work and pensions secretary, outlined his theory that other factors aside from money caused poverty, highlighting his concern about children growing up in "dysfunctional families".

He argued: "It cannot be right that experiences so vital to childhood, like seeing a parent go out to work or growing up in a stable family, are not reflected in our understanding of child poverty." He was critical of the Labour government's focus on "income as the significant cause and solution".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/feb/14/child-poverty-ministers-downplaying-importance-income

"Ay! Ay!", Arturo said, "What's old 'Silent Man' Iain Duncan Smith up to? He may pretend he has one - but he's no 'bleeding heart' Tory! He cries crocodile tears!"

Arturo usually knows his onions! So I decided to look into the matter a bit more. I discovered that as far back as November 2012, Amelia Gentleman had been writing about this self-same issue. In the Guardian, at that time, she quoted several experts who had strong misgivings about the proposal to re-define 'child poverty'. She wrote:

Poverty-fighting charities have expressed unease about the government's argument that shortage of money is not the most significant cause of poverty, but the launch of the CSJ's research project is set to bolster the shift in thinking at the heart of government.

... Imran Hussain, head of policy at the Child Poverty Action Group, said he was not convinced that a better understanding of family breakdown was key to understanding poverty. "In other countries where you have less inequality, and decent benefits and good social protection, typically Scandinavian countries, then family breakdown doesn't lead to poverty."

... For Professor John Hills, an inequality expert at the LSE, it is simply a question of balance. "It is not that acute problems of addiction or family disruption are not major problems in people's lives and are not among the causes of people having low incomes; the problem is in suggesting that these are the main drivers."

He wondered if having a debate over poverty definitions would have a muddying effect, at a time when poverty levels are set to rise.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/nov/28/child-poverty-debate-conservatives-analysis

Now, we know that the Coalition is not quite as cohesive as it once pretended to be. The LibDems and the Tories are both aching to win the Eastleigh by-election. Maybe, just maybe, the issue of defining child poverty will widen the gap. Who knows? If it doesn't - questions will have to be asked about how effective their 'softening approach' is on the 'hard-hearted' Tories!! Arturo thinks there's more mileage in the topic. I'm sure he's right.

Another little detail has exercised my mind, this week. It's not that I'm jealous, you understand! But - how come that lazy so-and-so upstairs - Larry - was chosen to receive a cuddly toy tiger from the London Zoological Society? And how did I get to hear of it? On Twitter!!!

Photo: Larry the cat's new toy shows he supports the @ZSLLondonZoo campaign to support Sumatran tiger conservation http://ow.ly/hKPyQ

http://www.flickr.com/photos/number10gov/8475293281/in/set-72157632774162186

Arturo and I are off to sniff out whether it's beef or horse-meat for dinner tonight.

Bye

Debt & Deficit: Ignorance @ No. 10

"What price an Eton education now, mi old pal?" Arturo asked rather too gleefully, I thought. He gestured at a nearby laptop screen. It was 'The Green Benches' blog written by Dr Eoin Clarke. The particular blog post had the headline:

UK Statistics boss slams David Cameron's lies on the National Debt

'Lies'! I don't know whether that was the correct description of the Prime Minister's words. I rather think, as did Arturo, that it was just plain, old-fashioned ignorance! You must decide for yourself which is more apt. Of course, there is also the possibility that it might just be plain old politics!

So how did all this come about, you may ask? Well, Rowena Mason, Political Correspondent, of the Telegraph gave the basic details in an article headed:

David Cameron given a lecture on 'debt' and 'deficit' by top statistics official: David Cameron has been taught the difference between "debt" and "deficit" by Britain's top statistics official, after he was accused of confusing the two economic terms.

It seems that the circumstances were as follows:

The Prime Minister was issued with the explanation by the UK Statistics Authority, after he claimed in a Conservative Party political broadcast that "we are paying down Britain’s debts.”

Oh Dear! After all that expensive education! How the Eton masters must be holding their heads in despair! Won't do the recruitment figures much good, will it? They must be praying that the Eton educated 'Georgy' Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, does know how many pennies make a pound!

Besides the issue of definitions! What about the syntax? 'paying down' is not the sort of phraseology that my old English teacher would have countenanced! What do you think? Do you 'pay down' your debts? I just 'pay' my debts! Possibly, I am missing some fine innuendo here - is there some poetic meaning in 'paying down'?

Rowena Mason went on to elucidate the issue, in her article:

The definitions:

Public sector net debt

A measure of how much the UK public sector owes at a given time.

Public sector net borrowing

The difference between total accrued receipts and total accrued (current and capital) expenditure over a specified period; this measure is frequently used by commentators to summarise the extent of any public sector ‘deficit’

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9842553/David-Cameron-given-a-lecture-on-debt-and-deficit-by-top-statistics-official.html

Now that is clear enough isn't it? Perhaps, however, you might like to read the whole letter that Andrew Dilnot, Chairman of the UK Statistics Authority, wrote to Rachel Reeves, Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury. She had asked him to:

"bring some clarity to the situation and advise on how we can ensure that in the future debate on the national debt is accurate and based on the facts".

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9842553/David-Cameron-given-a-lecture-on-debt-and-deficit-by-top-statistics-official.html

The whole letter can be found at:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/123331735/Dilnot-to-Reeves

In relation to 'Boy David' Cameron's statement that "we are paying down Britain’s debts”, it is worth noting the following graph in the Annex to Mr Dilnot's letter:

:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/123331735/Dilnot-to-Reeves

Oh dear! It seems that the idea of 'paying DOWN' has gone somewhat awry! In the circumstances, I do rather like the final line in Mr Dilnot's letter:

I am copying this to the Prime Minister’s Chief of Staff at 10 Downing Street

A delicate touch, don't you think? Certainly it kept old Arturo cheerful for a whole day! He's been pawing his way through various Dictionaries of Economics with evident gusto!

As for me, I've been scouring round the upstairs kitchen whilst the PM is away in Africa. Came across several dainty morsels of discarded pizza. I hope they're more recent than the rowdy pizza-fest at Davos! Anyway, Arturo and I are going to eat them tonight!

Bye

Progress! Who needs failure? @ No 10

Yesterday on BBC television, commenting on the latest UK borrowing figures, a certain David 'Hairy-Eyebrows' Gauke MP for South West Hertfordshire and Exchequer Secretary to the Treasury spoke out. He said that

"we have made some progress in reducing borrowing but we've still got a long way to go".

http://www.politicshome.com

As I was listening to 'Hairy-Eyebrows' Gauke, Arturo pointed to a Telegraph headline in the Finance section that said:

UK public borrowing rises in December threatening AAA rating: Britain's government borrowed more than expected in December, which could lead to Chancellor George Osborne missing his target set out in the Autumn statement, economists have warned, and threatens the country's AAA rating.

The article continued:

The Office for National Statistics said that public sector net borrowing excluding financial sector interventions -- the government's preferred measure -- rose last month to £15.4bn from £14.8bn a year earlier, as spending grew faster than income in a struggling economy, thwarting efforts to erase a large budget deficit.

Nasty! Very nasty! This Coalition came to power promising to cut the debt first: cut the debt second; and cut the debt third! Yet what do we discover? Halfway through their term in office:

borrowing excluding financial interventions amounted to £106.5bn in the first nine months of financial year 2012/13, which was 7.3pc up from £99.3bn in the corresponding period in 2011/12.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/9817511/UK-public-borrowing-rises-in-December-threatening-AAA-rating.html

The BBC News web site had more details on the figures:

The broader public sector net borrowing measure - which includes the cost of bailing out the UK's banks - rose to £13.2bn in December from £12.6bn a year ago.

The UK's total public sector net debt, excluding the cost of bank support, is now £1.11 trillion, or 70.7% of GDP.

All three of the major credit ratings agencies now have the UK's AAA rating on negative outlook, meaning they could downgrade its rating if performance deteriorates.

The news on public sector finances comes days before economic growth (GDP) figures are expected to show the economy contracted in the final three months of 2012.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21141201

Some progress!!! "If this is progress, Butch, mi old pal, who needs failure?" Arturo asked.

Richard Evans in the Telegraph had one final layer of icing for the 'progress' cake made by the Coalition. He wrote:

Government texts to encourage part-timers to work longer hours: Part-time workers could receive regular text messages from the Government telling them how much better off they would be if they worked extra hours.

The article continued :

The idea is one of several being considered by the Government to encourage claimants to work more when the new universal credit is introduced later this year. Others include an online calculator and printed messages on monthly benefit statements.

One union leader called the texting proposal "outrageous".

The universal credit, which will replace six existing benefits, is designed to ensure that work always pays. Under the current system, some low-paid workers can find themselves worse off if they extend their hours.

A Government spokesman was also quoted:

Lord Freud, the minister for welfare reform, said: "Today we are calling on employment experts to work with us to develop and pilot innovative ways for claimants to meet their commitments in return for their benefit.

"Text messaging and access to an online 'better off' calculator are just some of the ideas so far."

Now that is progress!! You couldn't make it up, could you? Talk about Gilbert & Sullivan!!

Richard Evans quoted Len McCluskey:

"We have members who are desperately looking for more work and more hours to fill the gap that stagnating wages and rising prices is pushing on them but they just can't. So to get a text every month from the Government telling you could be working longer hours just adds insult to injury and shows how out of touch the Government actually is on this issue."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/consumertips/9818209/Universal-jobmatch-Government-texts-to-encourage-part-timers-to-work-longer-hours.html

Arturo and I are sitting patiently - we're waiting for a text message from the kitchen to tell us that the scraps are ready now! Or - perish the thought - we might get a text telling us to catch more mice if we want scraps!! Don't hold your breath!

Bye

Shapps eats his words @ No 10

Arturo was chuckling as he read Twitter. I peered over his shoulder and saw:

DodgeyDog: Shapps doesn't know what he's eating! Osborne can't add up, Cameron can't make up his mind, Clegg can't think straight - Omnishambles!

www.twitter.com

I was surprised to see him reading a dog's tweet and a 'dodgy' one at that. But then, Arturo is eclectic in his reading habits! He looked at me and asked if I'd read the Telegraph article on 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps?

I hadn't! But I soon found it. The article was written by Rosa Silverman under the headline:

Grant Shapps gives confused explanation of which animals we eat The Conservative Party chairman Grant Shapps was laughed at on national television after appearing to suggest that horses were carnivores.

As you must know there's been a furore over the contents of beefburgers! It seems beefburgers are not what they seem - at first sight! Or maybe one should say 'first bite'!

The problems for our 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps arose during BBC One’s Question Time. The question about the possibility of eating horse meat as a cheaper option than beef was raised. 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps always eager to answer any question, any time - rushed in with his thoughts. Like the proverbial cow - he ruminated. Whereas the cow just belches in some faraway field - our 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps uttered his thoughts as to:

“why we think some animals are socially acceptable to eat and others are not.”

Not an unreasonable thought, you might say! Most British people would have shuddered at the prospect of eating Desert Orchid or Red Rum though they happily munch on small calves and tiny lambs' livers. There's nought as queer as folk!

So - so far - so good for old Shapps! But then he allowed his uncensored ruminations to overwhelm him. He said:

“I think the answer is we basically eat animals that don’t eat animals. So we eat animals that eat grass and what have you.”

Ummm! Just think about it for a moment! And that, unfortunately for 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps is what some of his fellow panellists did. According to Rosa Silverman:

It was instantly pointed out to him, however, that horses eat grass. But under his theory as we don't eat horses, they would therefore be lumped with carnivores.

Faced with the undeniable facts of nature, Mr Shapps instantly abandoned his theory, replying good-humouredly: “That’s not the answer! I thought I had cracked it.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9810181/Grant-Shapps-gives-confused-explanation-of-which-animals-we-eat.html

You have to admit that it was the 'good-humoured' part of his explanation that saved his bacon! Ha Ha!

The worry that both Arturo and I have is that this bloke, Shapps, is in the Coalition Government and a Member of Parliament for Welwyn Hatfield. In addition, he is Chairman of the Conservative Party & Minister without Portfolio.

Here we have a man who ruminates out loud the possibility that a horse eats more than just grass and hay i.e is possibly a carnivore. This is the man who aims to get the Conservative Party into Government after the next election. And this time the aim is not coalition - no siree - it's sole Conservative Party government. All I can say is with a Chairman like this who mistakes his horses for his carnivores - Heaven help the Conservative Party!!

As for me and mi old carnivore pal, Arturo, we're going mousing tonight!

Bye