What planet are they on? @ No. 10

"What would you like for your birthday, mi old pal?" Arturo asked with a very sly grin. "I can give you anything - I truly mean anything - that you want in the world!"

I was gobsmacked! Arturo was generous - but to offer me anything in the world was a bit too far, even for him!

"Do you spy a catch in the offer?" He queried. "It's no more nor less than what 'Boy David' Cameron is offering to the whole country! He's giving tham a 'pledge' to give them everything and anything that they could possibly want. There's just one teeny-weeny proviso - they have to vote Conservative on May 7. What d'ya think of that?"

I decided to investigate this 'pledge' Arturo was on about. It wasn't hard to discover. Michael White writing in The Guardian under the headline:

David Cameron's dishonest and foolish tax pledge is an insult to voters

commented:

David Cameron’s latest pledge that a re-elected Tory government would legislate for a ban on tax rises in the next parliament is economically illiterate as well as politically dishonest.

For brazen incoherence it is up there with the kind of Daily Mail front page splash (“Miliband eats babies”) we have been reading these past few weeks. From an incumbent prime minister, even one addicted to tactical solutions, it is quite startling; a “gimmick”, as Ed Balls kept protesting on Wednesday.

Well, well! 'economically illiterate and politically dishonest! Those are hard words indeed. Though to be fair, Michael White didn't absolve any of the other parties either:

Are the plans of the two Eds – Balls and Miliband – for tax and spending much better? Not really, as Larry Elliott’s brisk summary of the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) analysis explains. Nick Clegg’s are probably slightly more plausible (I cannot remember their thrust except that they are in between the others), but the Lib Dem leader’s likely leverage on events after 7 May makes it rather less important. The Greens and the SNP? Don’t even ask.

In varying ways they all subscribe to the tree-grown theory of money which suggests something will turn up, probably for the best, that will allow them to make good the spurious promises they make to voters – on housing, the NHS, education, childcare, budget surpluses – despite the fragility of our credit-driven economy.

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/29/david-cameron-tax-lock-pledge-insult-voters

So what was the wording of that particular Cameron 'pledge' that provoked this ire? Writing in the Financial Times, Elizabeth Rigby, George Parker and John Aglionb commented

David Cameron will on Wednesday promise a law banning any rise in income tax, VAT or national insurance in the next parliament, in a highly unusual move that would severely restrict the Treasury’s room to manoeuvre if he won a second term. Mr Cameron hopes the tax promise will inject momentum into his campaign, by highlighting the party’s commitment to low taxes ...

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/663896e0-edbb-11e4-90d2-00144feab7de.html

Ummmm! So what happens if the famous Rumsfeld adage turns out to be true? You don't recall that - well let me remind you:

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html

Now that convoluted little adage hides the faintest whisper of a truth! There are events in the future that we - and by that I mean Cameron et al, as well - cannot forecast! So - how can a man, hopefully in his right mind and living on this planet, state that :

"I make this pledge that if you elect me as your Prime Minister there will be no increase in VAT; no increase in National Insurance; no increase in income tax."

On ITV News

... Europe Editor James Mates asked Mr Cameron: "Five years ago you promised not to raise VAT, is this promise designed now to convince a skeptical public that you won't break that promise again?"

Mr Cameron responded: "Unlike in 2009, 2010, I've seen the books, I've been doing this job for five years, I know what remains to be done."

http://www.itv.com/news/story/2015-04-29/cameron-conservatives-would-ban-tax-rises-until-2020/

So - my friends - just watch this space! Will the tax 'lock' hold? Will the tax 'lock' give way? Will the tax 'lock' be picked? The possible scenarios are legion! Of course, that wily old bird, Harold Macmillan, knew the real face of politics

When asked what was the greatest challenge for a statesman, British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan reportedly responded, in his inimitable style, “Events, my dear boy, events.”

http://www.othermeanspolitics.com/home/quote-of-the-week-events-my-dear-boy-events

It's a shame that 'Boy David' Cameron is such a rubbish historian and such a shameless PR man!

He's not the only one who is chancing his arm. 'Interfering Old Git' Murdoch is playing a similar game with the voters. The Sun in England gives its support to the Tories! Whereas in Scotland - support goes to the Scottish Nationalist Party!

Do they take the British public to be fools - or horses?

Me and Arturo are still guzzling on the caviar nibbles that are lying about the place. With all these 'pledges' flying around - the good times are still to come - or are they?

Bye

Grip and Grin @ No.10

The carpet cleaners have been in! The window cleaners have been in! Arturo and me have had no peace! Only two weeks to go and then the fun will really begin! All we ask is for a quiet life but it sure ain't been quiet around here!

Arturo heard the 'World at One' on BBC Radio 4 on Monday and nearly choked himself when he heard one reporter say of 'Boy David' Cameron that he was all 'grip and grin'! Well - I ask you!! All grip and grin - it's worse than the expressions 'pressing the flesh'! or 'where's the beef?'

There's a frenzy of politicians trying to appear something they ain't. For example: Ed 'Hello Gromit' Miliband has had a veritable plethora of supposedly swooning women following him. The MailOnline had the following article by Tom Mctague:

Miliband wins ANOTHER female fan: TOWIE star Lydia Bright reveals she would 'definitely snog or marry' the Labour leader

Reality TV star said Mr Miliband 'definitely' topped her list of politicians

She was asked who she would pick in a game of 'snog, marry or avoid'

Bright said Mr Miliband was 'good looking' and had 'good dress sense'

It comes after the Labour leader became an unlikely pin-up for teen girls

Thousands of teenagers took to Twitter claiming to be 'Milifans'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3057348/Only-Way-Essex-star-Lydia-Bright-reveals-definitely-snog-marry-Ed-Miliband.html

There's more. The Guardian's Rebecca Ratcliffe wrote :

Ed Miliband has developed an unlikely fanbase of smitten teenage girls, after a 17-year-old student declared her admiration for the Labour leader on Twitter and prompted a flood of replies from other young women.

A student, known only as Abby, caused a Twitter storm after declaring herself leader of the #milifandom – a group of enthusiastic Ed Miliband admirers. Fandoms are usually reserved for the likes of Justin Bieber and One Direction, but the #milifandom hashtag has been trending, with scores of young females sharing their affection for the leader.

Abby says the Milifandom, which started last week, is “a movement against the distorted media portrayal of Ed”.

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/22/milifandom-soars-with-twitter-backing-for-labour-leader-ed-miliband

Arturo read all this with evident amusement - "It'll drive Lynton Crosby wild! What's he going to think up to counter this?"

The answer was the Cameronettes! The BBC reported:

The hashtag #milifandom has been used more than 28,000 times in the past 24 hours. A counter-surge by Conservative supporters, #cameronettes, attracted around 8,000 tweets.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32414313

You MUST see the video Hannah Henderson posted on that BBC site. In this - 'Wailing Lad' Clegg, the 'Amazon Warrior' Sturgeon and 'Frantic' Farage are also portrayed in one guise or another! It's amazing what a politician will do to get a vote!

But it was on the 27 April that 'Boy David' Cameron was forced to reconfigure his image. Why then, you may ask! Could it have been because of the knock-about interview that 'Mop Head' Johnson and Ed 'Hello Gromit' Miliband had on the Marr Show?

Or perhaps it was because Rupert 'Interfering Old Git' Murdoch tweeted:

UK. Failure to win majority against either Brown in crisis or Miliband would mean chop for Cameron. Open talk today in party and press.

Whatever the spur - Cameron gave a performance reminiscent of a none too eager boxer trying to impress his opponent by shadow boxing with sham gusto! Just read Michael Deacon in The Telegraph whose article

David Cameron gets 'pumped up' during speech on election campaign

appeared under a video repeating ad nauseum Cameron shouting

"Taking a risk; having a punt; having a go - that pumps me up!"

Deacon wrote:

Well. After that speech, David Cameron probably needed to go and lie down in a darkened room. I know I did.

Critics of the Conservatives’ campaign have been complaining that the Prime Minister lacks “passion”. This morning, during a speech in London about small business, he decided he was going to prove them wrong.

There was no lectern. No seats. Not even a microphone. Instead, he just shouted.

“THAT’S WHAT PUMPS ME UP!” he bellowed, referring to his “PASSION FOR BUSINESS”. “IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO ROLL OVER IN THE NEXT NINE DAYS, YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER THINK COMING!”

He was shouting so loudly I practically had to hang on to my hair to stop it from blowing clean off my scalp.

Arturo and I had heard the speech on the radio and nearly choked on our sardines.

Deacon went on to comment on the performance from Cameron:

When the speech had finally blown itself out, journalists asked him what was behind this eye-popping change in style. “IF I’M GETTING LIVELY IT’S BECAUSE I FEEL BLOODY LIVELY!” blared the Prime Minister. His face was by now a raging crimson. He looked like a sunburnt lobster. Or a red Incredible Hulk.

Well, you’ve got to give the man credit for trying.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/11565592/David-Cameron-gets-pumped-up-during-speech-on-election-campaign.html

Arturo and me aren't too sure the 'pumped up' act will do 'Boy David' Cameron any favours. By the end, he was puce and sweating - totally out of condition! Not a pretty sight!

As for 'Wailing Lad' Clegg - he never seems to learn from the past - on the Sky News LIVE BLOG General Election 2015 - there was the following report:

He (Clegg) told reporters on the battle bus: "That is a first major red line for us and that we won't enter into any governing arrangement that does not meet that funding test for support for nurseries, schools and colleges, from cradle to college.

"I think it is only fair that we say to the British people 'if you vote for the Liberal Democrats this is what you will get - no ifs, no buts, this is a deal breaker'."

http://news.sky.com/story/1443818/live-blog-general-election-2015

Now - if my memory is correct that little phrase 'no ifs - no buts' has a certain checkered history - recall Cameron's immigration promises, do you?

As I was musing on all this, Arturo said, "Remember Clegg's pledge about tuition fees, before the last election? Surely, anything to do with education should have dropped like a hot potato! A veritable hostage to fortune."

Phew! What a day - and things, as they say, can only get worse! As for me and Arturo - we're eating in tonight. The place is empty and there are some tasty leftovers from Lynton Crosby's assistants! There are some perks to living here in Downing Street! There'd have to be!

Bye