Friday 21 June 2013

Fannie & Freddie @ No. 10

"Hey, what do you think of Fannie & Freddie coming to Downing Street?" Arturo asked me.

Now, I'm not as daft as some may think I look! I knew full well that Fannie and Freddie weren't the cats from the Treasury kitchen, no siree! Them moggies is called Fenella and Frankie and they earn their keep by catching the vermin that crawl in through the Treasury door! I knew that Arturo meant Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Furthermore, not being dumb, I also knew that Fannie Mae is the 'Federal National Mortgage Association'. I also knew that Freddie Mac is the 'Federal Home Loan Mortgage Corporation'. See! I'm not just a cuddly toy!

However, though I wouldn't admit it to Arturo, I hadn't a clue what he was on about them "coming to Downing Street". I decided to investigate.

I looked up all the stories I could think of that might have inspired Arturo's cryptic comment. I discovered :
George Osborne's Help to Buy scheme 'a moronic policy': Leading analyst says chancellor's flagship scheme artificially inflates prices and drives the young into 'indentured servitude'

That was the headline in the Guardian on 4 June 2013. The article was written by the Economics Editor, Larry Elliott. The article stated:
George Osborne's scheme to boost the housing market through state mortgage subsidies has been dubbed one of the "most stupid economic ideas" of the past 30 years by a leading City commentator.

Now he ain't mincing his words! I was enthralled and continued reading:
Albert Edwards, who heads the global strategy team at Société Générale said the chancellor's flagship Help to Buy programme was artificially inflating property prices and driving young people deeper into "indentured servitude".

See what Arturo meant by the Fannie and Freddie allusion? Some wise cat, eh?? I went on reading Elliott's article:
... "Why are houses too expensive in the UK? Too much debt. So what is George Osborne's solution for first-time buyers unable to afford housing? Why, arrange for a government-guaranteed scheme to burden our young people with even more debt! Why don't we call this policy by the name it really is, namely the indentured servitude of our young people.

"I believe it truly is a moronic policy that stands head and shoulders above most of the stupid economic policies I have seen implemented during my 30 years in this business. It ranks above some of Alan Greenspan's very worst blunders.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/jun/04/george-osborne-help-to-buy-moronic

If you think that the opinion expressed by the 'leading City commentator', Albert Edwards, was a trifle harsh when he called 'Georgy' Osborne's policy 'moronic' - then take a look at the 'Comments' section below the article!

It seems that 'Georgy' has been more than a little head-strong in putting forward the 'Help to Buy' policy. It has even caught the eye of The International Monetary Fund. In their 'United Kingdom—2013 Article IV Consultation Concluding Statement of the Mission May 22, 2013', the IMF made the following comment:
"This measure may temporarily help boost confidence in the housing market, but there is a risk that, in the absence of an adequate supply response, the result would ultimately be mostly house price increases that would work against the aim of boosting access to housing."
http://www.imf.org/external/np/ms/2013/052213.htm

Oh dear, 'Georgy'!! You've gone and put your big foot right in it, again!! Don't you ever learn nothin'?? Didn't you learn that sub prime means just what it says sub ---- prime!! That ain't no way to run a business, let alone a country's finances!!

Just to let you know a little secret - another disaster befell the Osborne household. This time of the feline kind!! Know what I mean?? The Metro reported:
George Osborne’s missing cat accused of being a Chinese spy after returning

It stated:
George Osborne’s cat, which went missing for two years, has been accused of being a foreign spy after suddenly returning.

Inquisitive Freya is under suspicion after she showed up last year at Downing Street to the surprise of the chancellor and his family. ...The cat has apparently been spotted in secure areas of the Foreign Office, inside Number 10′s cabinet room and even allegedly tried to access the Treasury.

‘Some of us think the Chinese got her,’ said a Conservative source.

‘She can get everywhere. You’d only have to bug her and you could find out half the government’s secrets.’

If Freya did turn out to be a spy then it would have been the purrrfect deception.
http://metro.co.uk/2013/06/10/george-osbornes-missing-cat-accused-of-being-a-chinese-spy-after-returning-3835335/

So - you see what Arturo and me put up with! Tonight, we're off to the Italian Deli - lookin for a nice bit of salami - know what I mean??

Bye

Tuesday 4 June 2013

The 'Trouble & Strife' to save Cam @ No 10

"I had a butchers at it through the window, mi old pal, and would you Adam and Eve it, I saw 'Boy David Cameron's 'trouble and strife' trying on her 'titfer'?" Arturo was clearly amused. Not a pleasing sight!

"Just exactly what are you trying to tell me, Arturo? Speak in plain English!" I asked with as much dignity as I could muster.

"Ah! I see you don't appreciate my use of cockney rhyming slang! I'll translate for you:
I had a 'butchers' is cockney slang for 'butcher's hook' = look!

would you Adam and Eve it = believe it

'trouble and strife' = wife

Titfer short for Tit-for-Tat = hat

And to put my observations into the language of the mundane - it's been suggested that Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron is the answer to the Conservative Party's and 'Boy David's woes!!!"

So, let's see whether Arturo is right. Andy Coulson, the man who once advised the PM, then as fast as he rose, disappeared from No. 10, was quoted in the Telegraph by James Kirkup as saying in GQ magazine:
“The time has now come for Sam to play a more public role and take some risks,” ... “She should now be persuaded that the 2015 campaign is already underway and she’s badly needed in the trenches.”

I say, old boy - 'badly needed in the trenches', surely that's a bit over the top! But then, of course, that's just what took place in World War 1 - and look what happened!

Coulson was quoted further as saying:
Mrs Cameron is “one of the few people able to see straight to the heart of a matter and offer a clear, sensible view”.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10090047/Only-Samantha-Cameron-can-save-the-Conservatives-from-defeat.html

Well, well! That is quite an assertion. If Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron is one of the few people able to see straight to the heart of a matter and offer a clear, sensible view, I'd say there's more trouble than even Arturo thought! I don't recall Denis Thatcher, Norma Major, Cherie Blair or Sarah Brown being called in to see straight to the heart of a matter and offer a clear, sensible view. No siree! No doubt each of the couples had private chit-chats about what was going on - but as for asking Denis, Norma, Cherie or Sarah to have 'a more public role and take some risks' or tell them that they were 'badly needed in the trenches' - I think not!

Yet now it is being seriously suggested that there is such chaos at No. 10 that 'her upstairs' needs to be called in to save the sinking ship! Well - I ask you!!

In addition, Andy Coulson has views on other perils facing 'Boy David' Cameron. In the Guardian, Patrick Wintour quoted from the same GQ article:
Andy Coulson: Boris Johnson wants to be PM – and David Cameron knows it:

Cameron's former media adviser draws up Tory battleplan for 2015 election victory and blows cover on party tensions

Among other things, Wintour wrote:
Coulson suggests No 10 needs a strategy to handle Johnson. He writes: "No 10's Boris strategy should be simple. Support his good ideas, advise privately on the bad ones, but only engage publicly if absolutely necessary – and celebrate Boris's considerable successes."

He reveals that Cameron knows Johnson is after his job. He recounts a discussion with the prime minister in 2008, when Johnson was considering standing as mayor. "Boris Johnson desperately wants to be prime minister and David has known that fact longer than most,"

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/may/29/andy-coulson-boris-johson-pm-david-cameron#ixzz2UhvXVvxS

Maybe - just maybe - Coulson thinks that Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron knows how to fix 'Mop-Head' Johnson. It seems that few others are able to do so!! The man has been referred to in an 'Independent' Editorial as
A Teflon politician called Boris

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/editorials/editorial-a-teflon-politician-called-boris-8636305.html?origin=internalSearch

"Wasn't there once a Mafia Boss called the 'Teflon Don'", I asked Arturo.

"Yep - but the Teflon came off and things stuck to him in the end!" Arturo said.

Maybe, Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron is a great little housewife and knows just how to get rid of Teflon! Who knows? So Cameron's 'trouble and strife' might be an asset, after all.

Poor old 'Boy David' Cameron - he may be the PM but the Boy's really under siege! Still, he'd better listen to his 'trouble and strife's' 'rabbit and pork' if he wants to survive!!

Just to translate the rhyming slang for the uninitiated:
trouble and strife = wife

rabbit and pork = talk
Speaking of 'rabbit and pork' - me and mi pal, Arturo, are eating in again. We heard that 'her upstairs is having a right old 'nosh' tonight and there's bound to be left-overs.

Oh! You want a translation of 'nosh', do you? Just to show my erudition and ability to switch parlances:
nosh is Yiddish for eating

Am I versatile - or am I versatile?

Bye