Paws @ Number 10: The 'Trouble & Strife' to save Cam @ No 10

"I had a butchers at it through the window, mi old pal, and would you Adam and Eve it, I saw 'Boy David Cameron's 'trouble and strife' trying on her 'titfer'?" Arturo was clearly amused. Not a pleasing sight!

"Just exactly what are you trying to tell me, Arturo? Speak in plain English!" I asked with as much dignity as I could muster.

"Ah! I see you don't appreciate my use of cockney rhyming slang! I'll translate for you:

I had a 'butchers' is cockney slang for 'butcher's hook' = look!
would you Adam and Eve it = believe it
'trouble and strife' = wife
Titfer short for Tit-for-Tat = hat

And to put my observations into the language of the mundane - it's been suggested that Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron is the answer to the Conservative Party's and 'Boy David's woes!!!"

So, let's see whether Arturo is right. Andy Coulson, the man who once advised the PM, then as fast as he rose, disappeared from No. 10, was quoted in the Telegraph by James Kirkup as saying in GQ magazine:

“The time has now come for Sam to play a more public role and take some risks,” ... “She should now be persuaded that the 2015 campaign is already underway and she’s badly needed in the trenches.”

I say, old boy - 'badly needed in the trenches', surely that's a bit over the top! But then, of course, that's just what took place in World War 1 - and look what happened!

Coulson was quoted further as saying:

Mrs Cameron is “one of the few people able to see straight to the heart of a matter and offer a clear, sensible view”.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10090047/Only-Samantha-Cameron-can-save-the-Conservatives-from-defeat.html

Well, well! That is quite an assertion. If Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron is one of the few people able to see straight to the heart of a matter and offer a clear, sensible view, I'd say there's more trouble than even Arturo thought! I don't recall Denis Thatcher, Norma Major, Cherie Blair or Sarah Brown being called in to see straight to the heart of a matter and offer a clear, sensible view. No siree! No doubt each of the couples had private chit-chats about what was going on - but as for asking Denis, Norma, Cherie or Sarah to have 'a more public role and take some risks' or tell them that they were 'badly needed in the trenches' - I think not!

Yet now it is being seriously suggested that there is such chaos at No. 10 that 'her upstairs' needs to be called in to save the sinking ship! Well - I ask you!!

In addition, Andy Coulson has views on other perils facing 'Boy David' Cameron. In the Guardian, Patrick Wintour quoted from the same GQ article:

Andy Coulson: Boris Johnson wants to be PM – and David Cameron knows it:
Cameron's former media adviser draws up Tory battleplan for 2015 election victory and blows cover on party tensions

Among other things, Wintour wrote:

Coulson suggests No 10 needs a strategy to handle Johnson. He writes: "No 10's Boris strategy should be simple. Support his good ideas, advise privately on the bad ones, but only engage publicly if absolutely necessary – and celebrate Boris's considerable successes."
He reveals that Cameron knows Johnson is after his job. He recounts a discussion with the prime minister in 2008, when Johnson was considering standing as mayor. "Boris Johnson desperately wants to be prime minister and David has known that fact longer than most,"

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/may/29/andy-coulson-boris-johson-pm-david-cameron#ixzz2UhvXVvxS

Maybe - just maybe - Coulson thinks that Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron knows how to fix 'Mop-Head' Johnson. It seems that few others are able to do so!! The man has been referred to in an 'Independent' Editorial as

A Teflon politician called Boris

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/editorials/editorial-a-teflon-politician-called-boris-8636305.html?origin=internalSearch

"Wasn't there once a Mafia Boss called the 'Teflon Don'", I asked Arturo.

"Yep - but the Teflon came off and things stuck to him in the end!" Arturo said.

Maybe, Mrs Samantha 'Ever so Nice, ain't I' Cameron is a great little housewife and knows just how to get rid of Teflon! Who knows? So Cameron's 'trouble and strife' might be an asset, after all.

Poor old 'Boy David' Cameron - he may be the PM but the Boy's really under siege! Still, he'd better listen to his 'trouble and strife's' 'rabbit and pork' if he wants to survive!!

Just to translate the rhyming slang for the uninitiated:

trouble and strife = wife
rabbit and pork = talk

Speaking of 'rabbit and pork' - me and mi pal, Arturo, are eating in again. We heard that 'her upstairs is having a right old 'nosh' tonight and there's bound to be left-overs.

Oh! You want a translation of 'nosh', do you? Just to show my erudition and ability to switch parlances: