Paws @ Number 10: So 'intensely relaxed' @ No. 10

"Are you feeling relaxed, Butch?" Arturo asked me.

"No, not particularly. Why?"

"Thought you might have caught this feel for relaxation from 'Boy David' Cameron. After all, he's so relaxed that he doesn't have a clue what's going on around here!"

Arturo is right, of course. Cameron is determined to preserve an outward aura of complete calm. I even noticed that he now regularly drinks his coffee from a mug with the words:

KEEP CALM and CARRY ON

The reason Arturo and I are interested in 'Boy David' Cameron's sense of well-being is two-fold. Firstly, just before some of his Tory backwoodsmen - whoops - sorry! - backbenchers were due to table an amendment to the Queen’s Speech that will call for a referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union, Downing Street said:

the prime minister was “relaxed” about the Bone-Baron amendment

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/1fb5c722-b8c2-11e2-a6ae-00144feabdc0.html#axzz2Ug0XNQZZ

There was quite a hoo-ha about this. Janet Daley, in the Telegraph, wrote:

David Cameron is so relaxed I want to slap him

She went on to comment:

... Why on earth did he have to say that he was “intensely relaxed” about the EU referendum battle? What the public heard was not confidence but smug insouciance about the whole question of EU membership. I don’t know about you, but when somebody tells me that he is “intensely relaxed” about something that I find deeply worrying, it makes me want to slap him.
Which brings us to the heart of public doubts about Mr Cameron: people are not afraid that he is a secret Europhile, they are afraid that he is an incurable snob who is altogether too “intensely relaxed” about things that concern them (and whose allies, we learn, think Tory supporters are “swivel-eyed loons”).

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10065503/David-Cameron-is-so-relaxed-I-want-to-slap-him.html

How I love that phrase 'smug insouciance' - it has a real ring to it! And it sums up, so well, 'Boy David' Cameron and his pal next door 'Georgy' Osborne!

The second reason why Arturo and I are fixated on Cameron being so 'intensely relaxed' is because in the midst of a number of crises in the country, 'Boy David' and little wife, Samantha, went swanning off to Ibiza for a relaxing break! It did not go unnoticed. Melissa Kite, in the Guardian, wrote:

David Cameron's relaxation may be his downfall: The prime minister's sunshine holiday at a time of national crisis can only add to the Tory right's simmering resentment

Oh dear! He's gone and done it again! He's drawn attention to his need to 'relax'. Melissa Kite continued:

David Cameron is setting an example to us all by going on holiday to Ibiza and being photographed smiling in the sun with his wife. Aides of the prime minister underlined this point when they explained that Cameron had gone on a week-long break with a small staff because he had "not had a holiday since Christmas". While one does not want to be begrudging, or insinuate that the PM does not deserve downtime, it is only stating facts to point out that not having had a holiday since Christmas is not exactly the definition of hardship these days.

Now, I wish to point out that neither Arturo nor I have had a holiday at the seaside in our whole lives!! And are we complaining? No, siree, we ain't!!

Melissa Kite went on to write:

A still more potent puzzler is why Cameron is able to chill out on a beach this week. It seems that no matter what happens, be it European Union revolts or terror attacks, the briefing from No 10 is always the same: "The prime minister is relaxed."
He is starting to remind me of a horse asleep on its feet. You admire the trick, but wonder how on earth they pull it off.There are those who praise this relentless imperviousness to any notion that he has to prove himself.
I find it offputting.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/may/27/david-camerons-relaxed-style-downfall

Melissa Kite does not only find it 'offputting', she adds the comment:

... when the going gets tough, the tough go to Ibiza.

Is 'Boy David' Cameron really so 'intensely relaxed'? Neither Arturo nor I believe this to be the case! We've heard him pacing the floor! We've seen him scratching his chin! We've heard him rehearsing his lines. Those are not the doings and utterings of an 'intensely relaxed' man! No! All this harping on about being 'relaxed' is the sure sign of the mantra of a PR man who believes that if he says a thing often enough - it is true!

For the sake of his future in British politics, 'Boy David' Cameron might be better advised to roll up his shirt sleeves; wipe beads of perspiration from his brows; dust some coal-dust on his cheeks and say:

"Ee bah gum" it's rough 'ere at pit-face - and me and Georgy are workin' our socks off!"

Then maybe - just maybe - we'd all have some respect for the goings-on at Number 10 and Number 11.

Me and mi pal, Arturo, are eating in tonight. We don't want anyone saying of us: 'while the cat's away the mice will play!" Remember the dictionary definition of this is: