So 'intensely relaxed' @ No. 10

"Are you feeling relaxed, Butch?" Arturo asked me.

"No, not particularly. Why?"

"Thought you might have caught this feel for relaxation from 'Boy David' Cameron. After all, he's so relaxed that he doesn't have a clue what's going on around here!"

Arturo is right, of course. Cameron is determined to preserve an outward aura of complete calm. I even noticed that he now regularly drinks his coffee from a mug with the words:

KEEP CALM and CARRY ON

The reason Arturo and I are interested in 'Boy David' Cameron's sense of well-being is two-fold. Firstly, just before some of his Tory backwoodsmen - whoops - sorry! - backbenchers were due to table an amendment to the Queen’s Speech that will call for a referendum on Britain’s membership of the European Union, Downing Street said:

the prime minister was “relaxed” about the Bone-Baron amendment

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/1fb5c722-b8c2-11e2-a6ae-00144feabdc0.html#axzz2Ug0XNQZZ

There was quite a hoo-ha about this. Janet Daley, in the Telegraph, wrote:

David Cameron is so relaxed I want to slap him

She went on to comment:

... Why on earth did he have to say that he was “intensely relaxed” about the EU referendum battle? What the public heard was not confidence but smug insouciance about the whole question of EU membership. I don’t know about you, but when somebody tells me that he is “intensely relaxed” about something that I find deeply worrying, it makes me want to slap him.

Which brings us to the heart of public doubts about Mr Cameron: people are not afraid that he is a secret Europhile, they are afraid that he is an incurable snob who is altogether too “intensely relaxed” about things that concern them (and whose allies, we learn, think Tory supporters are “swivel-eyed loons”).

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/10065503/David-Cameron-is-so-relaxed-I-want-to-slap-him.html

How I love that phrase 'smug insouciance' - it has a real ring to it! And it sums up, so well, 'Boy David' Cameron and his pal next door 'Georgy' Osborne!

The second reason why Arturo and I are fixated on Cameron being so 'intensely relaxed' is because in the midst of a number of crises in the country, 'Boy David' and little wife, Samantha, went swanning off to Ibiza for a relaxing break! It did not go unnoticed. Melissa Kite, in the Guardian, wrote:

David Cameron's relaxation may be his downfall: The prime minister's sunshine holiday at a time of national crisis can only add to the Tory right's simmering resentment

Oh dear! He's gone and done it again! He's drawn attention to his need to 'relax'. Melissa Kite continued:

David Cameron is setting an example to us all by going on holiday to Ibiza and being photographed smiling in the sun with his wife. Aides of the prime minister underlined this point when they explained that Cameron had gone on a week-long break with a small staff because he had "not had a holiday since Christmas". While one does not want to be begrudging, or insinuate that the PM does not deserve downtime, it is only stating facts to point out that not having had a holiday since Christmas is not exactly the definition of hardship these days.

Now, I wish to point out that neither Arturo nor I have had a holiday at the seaside in our whole lives!! And are we complaining? No, siree, we ain't!!

Melissa Kite went on to write:

A still more potent puzzler is why Cameron is able to chill out on a beach this week. It seems that no matter what happens, be it European Union revolts or terror attacks, the briefing from No 10 is always the same: "The prime minister is relaxed."

He is starting to remind me of a horse asleep on its feet. You admire the trick, but wonder how on earth they pull it off.There are those who praise this relentless imperviousness to any notion that he has to prove himself.

I find it offputting.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/may/27/david-camerons-relaxed-style-downfall

Melissa Kite does not only find it 'offputting', she adds the comment:

... when the going gets tough, the tough go to Ibiza.

Is 'Boy David' Cameron really so 'intensely relaxed'? Neither Arturo nor I believe this to be the case! We've heard him pacing the floor! We've seen him scratching his chin! We've heard him rehearsing his lines. Those are not the doings and utterings of an 'intensely relaxed' man! No! All this harping on about being 'relaxed' is the sure sign of the mantra of a PR man who believes that if he says a thing often enough - it is true!

For the sake of his future in British politics, 'Boy David' Cameron might be better advised to roll up his shirt sleeves; wipe beads of perspiration from his brows; dust some coal-dust on his cheeks and say:

"Ee bah gum" it's rough 'ere at pit-face - and me and Georgy are workin' our socks off!"

Then maybe - just maybe - we'd all have some respect for the goings-on at Number 10 and Number 11.

Me and mi pal, Arturo, are eating in tonight. We don't want anyone saying of us: 'while the cat's away the mice will play!" Remember the dictionary definition of this is:

when the person in authority is absent, people will not do what they should do

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/While+the+cat%27s+away

Oh dear!!!

Bye

Loony-Gate @ No. 10

As a PR man, 'Boy David' Cameron is proving to be singularly inept at PR! That is Arturo's opinion and mine too. Ever eager for a good soundbite, the 'Boy' has increasingly lost his touch. Ready enough with good one-liners in the early days, words are just not good enough now - actions not words are what is needed.

Let's take a peek at what he said in those balmy early days before reality hit home. In October 2009, the BBC reported under the headline: Secrets of the conference soundbite:

In the course of an hour, the Tory leader said he was "up to the test" of leading the country.

There was a lot of talk of being in things together, telling the party faithful and the British people if they "pull together, come together, work together - we will get through this together". ...

He also pledged to "put Britain back on her feet", "turn the tide" and "make things happen" but he neatly turned this last soundbite on its head - in keeping with his theme of dismantling big government - by saying that if Britain can be rebuilt it will be down to people power and we will look back and say "you made it happen".

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8293442.stm

Cameron has always lacked foresight! 'get through this together'!! When did he last queue at a food bank?. 'work together' - When did he last 'sign on'? Of course, that day may not be too far off!!

In the same report, the BBC quoted him as saying:

"Yes it will be a steep climb. But the view from the summit will be worth it. Let me tell you what I can see."

Pity he didn't consult Gypsy Rose Lee - she'd have told him what he would see! And, Arturo and I can tell you - it wouldn't be sunny pastures!

It's all been downhill for some considerable time at No. 10! Skiing off-piste maybe a heady challenge for the gifted - but for those less brain-cell endowed - it is a foolish feat!

And our PR man of a PM has certainly skied off-piste, as far as the die-hard backbenchers and Tory Party activists are concerned. Didn't the 'Boy' understand the meaning of the word 'conservative'? Maybe, before trying to please the masses with a catchy phrase such as 'gay marriage', he should have consulted the Oxford English Dictionary:

averse to change or innovation and holding traditional values:

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/conservative?q=conservative

Whatever the reason, 'Boy David' Cameron sure has heaped up problems whilst searching desperately for what Nick Robinson, on the BBC Radio 4 'Today' programme called:

a Tony Blair Clause 4 moment'

Arturo and I ask ourselves why anyone in their right mind would want to emulate 'Old-Feet-In-Mouth' Blair is totally beyond us! But it is clear evidence of the saying :

Those whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first make mad

One thing is for sure - Cameron has driven his grass-roots supporters, his activists, to despair! First they asked:

Where is the 'In/Out' EU referendum?

Next, they shouted:

Who wants 'Same Sex' marriage'?

Because of the stink that these same hard-working activists raised, a bright spark close to the 'Boy' referred to them as:

'swivel-eyed loons'

Have you ever met a Tory activist? Usually, they are middle-aged to elderly, staunchly middle class, often supporters of their local hunt - you get the picture?

Well - one thing the Tory grassroots activists HATE - is being called 'swivel-eyed loons'. Now, these same activist/supporters are joining UKIP, once labelled on LBC radio, by Cameron as:

'A Bunch Of Fruitcakes, Loonies And Closet Racists'

https://audioboo.fm/boos/1079562-david-cameron-ukip-a-bunch-of-fruitcakes-loonies-and-closet-racists

As Jake Wallis Simons put it:

It seems that everything David Cameron does offers fuel to Mr Farage's party. From swivel-eyed-loony-gate to the rebellion against the Queen's speech to gay-marriage-itis, it's all heat and no light in Westminster. Meanwhile, Ukip, with its clear policy agenda, uncompromising stance and straight-talking leader, is elevated by default. And Nigel Farage – who yesterday took out a full-page advertisement in the Daily Telegraph to attract the swivel-eyed to Ukip – is doing all he can to exploit it.

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jakewallissimons/100217954/ukip-are-poised-to-out-poll-the-tories-is-this-the-tipping-point/

All things considered, the 'Boy' has spent too much time under the full moon! You may recall that gazing at the full moon drove some men mad. Others became were-wolves! It has driven the 'Boy' into losing his gift for the soundbite and destroying the cohesion of the Tory Party. Never mind! Every night, we hear him softly chanting:

"pull together, come together, work together - we will get through this together"

Meanwhile - Arturo and I are joining Alfonso for a nosh at the local Italian kitchen!

Bye

Fit persons? @ No.10

"I say! I say! I say!" Arturo chuckled, "When is a 'fit person' not a 'fit person'?" He eyed me closely.

"I don't know - when is a 'fit person' not a 'fit person'? No doubt, you're going to tell me!" I replied. Arturo showed me his tablet. There was an article on it:

Health minister threatened with ejection from royal college:Earl Howe's position on advisory committee under threat as doctors claim he 'mis-sold' health reforms

The article was written by Daniel Boffey in The Observer. It seems that The Royal College of Physicians want Earl Howe 'ousted from a prestigious role' within the College.

Six influential members of the professional body that represents doctors wrote to its president, Sir Richard Thompson, claiming that the minister was "not a fit person to fulfil this important role". Thompson has launched an investigation by the College's trustees into Howe's probity.

The senior doctors claim that Howe, a former banker, falsely advised them that reforms under the health and social care bill would not force doctors to use market mechanisms to choose where patients will be treated.

According to the doctors, the regulations will mean that clinical commissioning groups – the bodies to be set up by GPs to organise patients' care – will have to put services out to tender if there is more than one provider capable of offering particular treatments. This means NHS hospitals and services will have to compete with private health firms for business.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/may/05/earl-howe-royal-college-physicians

Since Arturo and I had watched Earl Howe, whom Arturo called 'smarmy', oozing his unctuous way through the House of Lords' debate on the Health and Social Care Bill, I must admit my sympathies are with the 'six influential members'.

Surely the good Physicians must have scratched their eminent heads at the prospect of an 'ex-banker' being given responsibility for pushing the grossly flawed Bill through the Lords! After all, bankers can't be trusted with banks, let alone health! The fact the country is on its benders, at the present time, is all down to bankers and PR men.

Here's yet another 'fit person' issue. You may recall that in 2010 there was a report about the Government's intention to legislate so that tobacco companies would have to put their fags in 'plain packets'. Doctors were delighted saying that it would help to stop children and young people from being enticed by the packaging. On November 20 2010, the BBC reported:

Make cigarette packaging plain, government urges The government is considering making all cigarettes packets plain brown or grey.

The report continued:

The government plans to ask retailers to cover up displays of cigarettes from next year to protect children.

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley said "glitzy designs on packets" attracted children to smoking and it made sense to look at "less attractive packaging".

The article quoted 'Old Silver Fox' Lansley the then Secretary of State for Health as follows:

"The evidence is clear that packaging helps to recruit smokers, so it makes sense to consider having less attractive packaging. It's wrong that children are being attracted to smoke by glitzy designs on packets.

"We would prefer it if people did not smoke and adults will still be able to buy cigarettes, but children should be protected from the start.

"The levels of poor health and deaths from smoking are still far too high, and the cost to the NHS and the economy is vast. That money could be used to educate our children and treat cancer,"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11796903

Now that is what I call laying it on the line! The 'evidence is clear'!! Can't be more positive than that! At that time, all the Cabinet colleagues seemed to agree! But whoa there, matee!! What was it that Arturo and I read in 'The Sun', last week?:

DAVID Cameron has scrapped plans to force all cigarettes to be sold in plain packs, The Sun can reveal.

That was the headline written by Tom Newton Dunn, The Sun's political editor. He continued:

Campaigners had insisted making packets bland would put smokers off — and stop kids from starting the habit.

The PM initially backed the plan, but has been persuaded it would damage the packaging industry.

There were also concerns it could cost £3billion in lost tax revenue and tie up the Commons in bitter arguments.

Mr Cameron has now ordered the proposed law to be pulled from next week’s Queen’s Speech.

A Whitehall source said: “Plain packaging may or may not be a good idea, but it’s nothing to do with the Government’s key purpose.

“The PM is determined to strip down everything we do so we can concentrate all our efforts on voters’ essentials. That means growth, immigration and welfare reform.”

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/politics/4911532/Plain-cigarette-packets-plan-abandoned-by-David-Cameron.html

Now there is a statement from a truly 'fit person', I don't think!!! What's more important 'kids starting the habit' with all the health issues that ensue - or caving in to the powerful lobby groups who have at heart their own base interests - just like the bankers!

What's going on here? The Government has its sights on 'essentials' such as 'growth' - that's a joke! 'Immigration'- that'll delight UKIP! 'Welfare reform'!!! That'll satisfy the flog 'em and beat 'em fraternity!

The phrase 'fit person' raises a can of worms, when one comes to think of the way the NHS has been treated! Just think about it for a moment. The present Secretary of State for Health, one Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt, is some might say a cynical choice for a Government declaring that it will protect the NHS.

Why is that, you ask? Think back to the year 2005 when our Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt was still a thrusting youth hoping to catch the eye of the Tory Big-Wigs. So what did he do? He co-authored 'Direct Democracy: An Agenda for a New Model Party'. In this book, there is the following statement:

“Our ambition should be to break down the barriers between private and public provision, in effect denationalising the provision of health care in Britain.”

Yes, my friends, you did read it correctly 'denationalising the provision of health care in Britain'. Now this same Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt and ex-banker 'Smarmy' Howe are the lead 'fit persons' for health!!!! Well- I ask you! No wonder 'plain' packaging for cigarettes went up the Swanee! But, as Arturo has so frequently moaned:

What is politics other than institutionalised lying?

Arturo and I have had our fill of 'unfit persons' running along the corridors of power in Downing Street. Arturo's cousin, Alfonso, has promised us some crab claws and squid ink for supper tonight! I'm hoping for a saucer of Chianti to go with the meal!

Bye