The End is Nigh - for the Coalition @ No 10

"Talk about the world ending on December 21!" Arturo snorted. "I think old Pickles is trying to kill off the Coalition even if the world doesn't end!"

Simon Hoggart writing in The Guardian quoted 'Bagpuss' Pickles' speech at this year's Conservative Party Conference. Hoggart wrote:

 Eric Pickles on the Lib Dems: "It still seems strange to be working with our yellow chums in government. I sit next to Vince Cable in cabinet. In private, he's not as cheerful as he seems on the telly."

Hoggart wrote this under the headline:

Political awards: omnishambles, reality shows and the man they couldn't sack

The article is well worth reading. It highlights the levels of puerility that the political leaders can stoop to, in order to attract attention.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/dec/20/political-awards-omnishambles

But 'Bagpuss' Pickles does not need to make his snide comments about his 'yellow' friends. Their leader, 'Wailing Lad' Clegg, is doing his own bit to destroy the credibility of the LibDems and the Coalition all on his own! At one time, Clegg walked the leafy glade of the Downing Street rose garden with a look of real affection for his colleague and pal, 'Boy David' Cameron. In fact, the two were almost clones of each other and of the average menswear shop dummy that they so resemble. They walked alike, they nodded alike - even their policies seemed alike.

Then - slowly but surely 'Wailing Lad' Clegg realised he was no clone of Cameron but a mere useful tool to keep the Tories in power. More importantly - to keep Cameron as Prime Minister. The role of 'Deputy Prime Minister' became as meaningless for Clegg as it had been for Prescott. The difference being that Prescott just sat back and enjoyed it.

Then - the thunderbolt hit our 'Wailing Lad' right in the middle of his face. The journalists, Christopher Hope and Andrew Hough wrote in The Telegraph under the headline:

Liberal Democrats by-election result is 'worst ever by a major political party': The Liberal Democrats’ showing in the Rotherham by-election is the worst performance ever by a major political party, experts say, while support for the UK Independence Party (Ukip) dramatically increased.

They proceeded to demonstrate the sorry state of affairs for the LibDems.

They wrote:

Support for Nick Clegg’s party at the by-election slumped to eighth behind behind the BNP, Respect and the English Democrats...

... Rob Hayward, a by-elections’ expert, told The Daily Telegraph the Lib Dems’ showing in Rotherham was the worst “in any by election on record”.

The article ended:

Aides to Mr Clegg – who did not visit any of the battle grounds before polling day - shrugged off the bad result, insisting that the Lib Dems were suffering more because they were in Government and lacked the resources to fight the by-election properly.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9714210/Liberal-Democrats-by-election-result-is-worst-ever-by-a-major-political-party.html

Oh dearie me! What a way to end the year! So you see that's why 'Wailing Lad' Clegg has been thinking on the hoof, as they say! And boy! Has he been thinking on the hoof!

Rajeev Syal in The Guardian wrote the headline:

Nick Clegg risks Lib Dem-Tory coalition by spelling out differences: Leader's former key adviser reveals new strategy after shock set of polls show Lib Dems trailing Ukip as third biggest party

Syall continued:

Nick Clegg is to adopt a high-risk strategy of highlighting Liberal Democrat policy differences with their Conservative partners before government announcements have been made, according to the deputy prime minister's former adviser

Syal wrote:

... Clegg aims to differentiate his party from the Tories and Labour in a keynote speech delivered on the eve of his fifth anniversary as Lib Dem leader.

Clegg will mount a defence of the government's welfare reforms but also claim that interventions by his ministers stopped the Conservatives from introducing a further £6.2bn of cuts in welfare spending this autumn.

The new strategy follows an Opinion poll for the Observer on Sunday showing the Lib Dems are now trailing fourth behind the UK Independence party. The poll found Ukip is attracting 14% support, with the Lib Dems on just 8%.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/dec/17/nick-clegg-lib-dem-tory-coalition

Needs must in desperate times, I suppose! But where oh where have Clegg's fond looks for pal Cameron gone?

On December 17, 'Wailing Lad' Clegg was celebrating - no not celebrating but marking - the fifth anniversary of becoming leader of the LibDems! The fresh faced, confident look now replaced by the ashen, miserable visage that sits alongside the PM in Parliament.

So - what did Clegg say? The BBC News site reported his speech as follows:

The deputy prime minister blamed the "tribal" nature of both the Conservative and Labour parties for what he sees as their inability to remain on the centre ground of British politics.

"There are some on the right who believe that no-one could possibly be out of work unless they're a scrounger," he argued.

"If you can't find a job you must be lazy. If you say you're too sick to work you're probably pretending.

"The siren voices of the Tory right who peddle this myth could have pulled a majority Conservative government in the direction of draconian welfare cuts."

By contrast, he said, the Lib Dems were "a centre-ground party" delivering "centre-ground reforms".

On the same BBC News site there was a quote from Harriet Harman, deputy deader of the Labour Party:

As ever, with the Lib Dems, they say one thing whilst doing another - resulting in a record of economic failure, trebled tuition fees, nurses cut, police axed and millions paying more while millionaires get a tax cut”

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20754022

"And it all began so well!" Arturo mused. "Do you know, I think everyone who enters the front door of Downing Street with a smile on their face leaves it with a grimace. You mark my words, mi old pal, this Coalition will go the same way as the other governments - it'll all end in tears!"

I can't swear to it - but I think I saw a fleeting grin cross Arturo's whiskers as he said this! I'm taking him for a scrounge round the No 10 kitchen tonight!

Bye

Humpty Dumpty Rules OK ! @ No 10

"Oh dear, another faux-pas!" Arturo declared. "'Boy David' Cameron and his pal, Georgy Osborne, seem incapable of getting their facts right. So does 'Baby Face' Gove! Were they listening in school when they were told that 2+2=4 and not 5? They extended Humpty Dumpty's principle in 'Through the Looking-Glass':

"When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

"The issue with Cameron and his pals," Arturo said, "is that as well as 'words', they have applied the principle to 'numbers'. They pick a number and use it to represent just what they choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

Arturo had been looking at the BBC News web page that headlined an item:

Ministers rebuked on NHS spending claim : A watchdog has called on ministers to correct claims the coalition has increased NHS spending in England.

The UK Statistics Authority upheld a complaint by Labour about government claims the NHS budget had increased in real-terms in the past two years.

The watchdog found the best-available Treasury data suggested real-terms health spending was lower in 2011-12 than in 2009-10.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20600852

Oh dear! So the Government assertion that there had been an increase in spending on the NHS was wrong. Fancy that! If this Humpty Dumpty use of figures had been the only one from the Coalition, then Arturo would not have got so worked up! But just last month, further shenanigans had been played out! On November 8, George Eaton in the New Statesman wrote an article under the headline:

How Michael Gove manipulated education statistics : The Education Secretary's misleading claim that the UK has plummeted down the international league tables.

Whoops! Steady there, 'Baby Face' Gove! Surely, you would never manipulate statistics!!

George Eaton wrote:

One of Michael Gove's favourite arguments for his school reforms is that Britain has plummeted down the international education league tables. In June 2011 he told Policy Exchange that the UK had fallen from "4th to 16th place in science; from 7th to 25th place in literacy; and from 8th to 28th in maths" between 2000 and 2009 in the OECD's Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA).

Not something to boast about, is it? So why do it? Eaton went on:

Last month, in response to a letter from David Miliband, Andrew Dilnot, the chair of the UK Statistics Authority, expressed "concern" about the Department for Education's unqualified use of the figures. He noted that the OECD's 2009 report for the UK included the following "important caveat":

Trend comparisons, which are a feature of the PISA 2009 reporting are not reported here because for the United Kingdom it is only possible to compare 2006 and 2009 data. As the PISA 2000 and PISA 2003 samples did not meet the PISA response-rate standards, no trend comparisons are possible for these years.

He concluded: "These uncertainties and weaknesses are not just a technical footnote; they are themselves an important part of the evidence, and affect interpretation and meaning. League tables and the presentation of international rankings can be statistically problematic, and require clear and careful commentary alongside them."

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2012/11/how-michael-gove-manipulated-education-statistics

Now - I wonder if Gove studied those 6 crucial little words! Statistics require a 'clear and careful commentary alongside them'. Maybe, 'Baby Face' Gove should have warned fellow ministers about this recommended method of presenting statistics!

Remember, 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps? It seems he's not been averse to using statistics to advantage, he's well acquainted with the Humpty Dumpty principle! In June 2012, BBC News headlined an item:

Labour criticises housing figures used by Grant Shapps

In fact, Jack Droomey, the Shadow Housing Minister, stated that there were six areas in Shapp's statistical presentation with which he took issue.

Surely not! That pretty lad, 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps, he would never do such a thing!! Well - this is what happened, BBC News reported:

In January this year, the then UK Statistics Authority chairman, Sir Michael Scholar, replied to a similar letter from Labour MP Nick Raynsford. Sir Michael replied: "Looking at statistics on housing, house building and house prices more generally, the Statistics Authority has been concerned for some time that there is a lack of coherence and clarity in their public presentation."

He added: "I recently wrote to the minister for housing proposing that the Statistics Authority should be invited to carry out a formal assessment of the statistics produced by the Homes and Communities Agency and the Tenant Services Authority."

The invitation was not taken up by the Department for Communities and Local Government.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-18388054

Arturo emerged from the kitchen with an icepack on his head! I couldn't believe my eyes! When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he replied:

"I'm studying Georgy Osborne's figures from the Autumn Statement. It seems, according to a well placed authority, that the majority of his figures are within the bounds of what statisticians call the 'margin of error'. So, it's dodgy, to say the least, to make claims on any such figures! But, that's just what he's done!"

I left Arturo with his abacus! In his own inimitable way, he's happy. Me? I'm off to sniff around the kitchen at No 11 - it was caviar time, so I heard! Talk about posh!!

'Bye'

Hoist the Jolly Roger @ No 10

"Ah Ha, mi Hearties! Shiver mi timbers!" Arturo closed one eye. I wasn't sure whether he had been at the sherry or was ill!

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm lookin' for pieces of eight, mi old shipmate!" He peered at me. "You haven't been keeping up with the news, Butch, have you?" I shook my head. "Well, take a look at the laptop over there! Maybe you'll get the piracy analogy then!"

I peered at the screen. There was an article; it was Re:Locate the online magazine for HR, Global Managers & Relocation Professionals. Not Arturo's usual daily news diet, you understand. But - there must be something of interest here. The headline looked somewhat dull:

PM David Cameron promises to remove bureaucracy to help businesses

Suppressing a yawn, I read on:

In his address to the CBI Annual Conference, Prime Minister David Cameron said the government will embark on radical reforms to speed up the way it takes key decisions in order to help boost economic growth.

Blah! Blah! Blah! Same old 'Boy David' Cameron spinning himself into a dangerous web of PR again!. However, Arturo was eying me closely, so I went on reading:

The PM unveiled a four-pronged strategy to “eliminate bureaucratic rubbish” and dismantle some of the procedures that had slowed down economic growth, he told business leaders.

A four-pronged strategy to “eliminate bureaucratic rubbish”. Careful, 'Boy David', I thought. There are many, even in your own party who think you're little better than rubbish yourself. But I still did not get the piracy rant from Arturo. Then - then I spotted it:

In a wide-ranging keynote speech, Mr Cameron said the UK was in the “economic equivalent of war” but hailed signs that Britain was again “selling to the world”. “Frankly, we need this buccaneering, deal-making, hungry spirit now more than ever,” he said.

http://www.relocatemagazine.com/corporate-finance-a-tax/finance-a-tax-news-corporate/6593-pm-david-cameron-promises-to-remove-bureaucracy-to-help-businesses

At last - was this what Arturo was on about? Buccaneering? Long John Silver and all that? 'Buccaneering' - did 'Boy David Cameron envisage us all as 21st century Blackbeards?

Then, I noticed another tab. I moved to the next story. A page from the Telegraph was displayed. The headline read:

David Cameron: I want privilege for all:

Didn't sound piratical to me - sounded more like advertising for Eton College. Anyway, the article by Robert Winnett appeared on 10 October 2012. This was hardly up-to-date, cutting edge news. However, dutifully, I continued reading:

In his speech to the Conservative Party conference in Birmingham, Mr Cameron said his aim was not to defend “privilege” but “spread it” by giving everyone the help he has enjoyed in life.

So far, nothing interesting here. Just the usual old PR. I went on reading:

The country is the “most enterprising, buccaneering, creative, dynamic nation on earth” and can recover from the economic crisis with “individual effort and aspiration”, the Prime Minister said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9600468/David-Cameron-I-want-privilege-for-all.html

There it was again:

buccaneering

It seems as though Cameron has had buccaneering on the brain for over a month! Poor bloke!!

I decided to look up the definition of a 'buccaneer'. The Oxford Dictionary defines the word as follows:

a pirate, originally one operating in the Caribbean:

a person who acts in a recklessly adventurous and often unscrupulous way, especially in business:

http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/buccaneer?q=buccaneer

So, does 'Boy David' Cameron really want us all to act in a:

recklessly adventurous and often unscrupulous way, especially in business

Oh dear! It seems our Prime Minister, him upstairs, has been watching a few too many re-runs of the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' or reading 'Treasure Island' too often to his children. But whatever the explanation, it is rather ridiculous. I am sure you will agree that advocating 'buccaneering' as the solution to achieve anything - is wrong! Most buccaneers ended up by being hanged - possibly drawn and quartered too! Not a fate to recommend to the UK businessman, Mr Cameron.

"Ah Ha, Mi Hearty," Arturo exclaimed, "The Boy's really gone and shivered his timbers this time!"

Arturo's right, of course. Prime Minister Cameron would do better to read the King James Bible and exhort us all to:

Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Proverbs 6:6

Of course, there is another explanation for Cameron's buccaneering fixation. He finds himself surrounded by buccaneering MPs and Ministers who are doing 'very nicely, thank you' for themselves in a buccaneering sort of way. Channel 4's programme 'Dispatches', highlighted the goings on relating to expenses within the corridors of power in the House of Commons! Their shenanigans would put even Blackbeard to shame for being a paltry pirate.

Antony Barnett presented the programme in which he took a tour around London and its outskirts showing the second homes, rented apartments and millionaire residences of some of these 'buccaneering' MPs and Ministers! The Channel 4 website included the following:

Channel 4's Dispatches will reveal:

Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude is still claiming thousands of pounds on a second home in central London despite the prime minister's personal pledge Maude would not "claim any money" on his second home.

Equalities Minister Helen Grant is claiming £20,000 a year for a luxury London flat despite owning a £1.8m home in Surrey just 19 miles away from Westminster.

Treasury Minister David Gauke recently sold his second home in central London which the taxpayer helped buy and has kept a profit of more than £20,000.

John Whittingdale, chairman of the House of Commons Culture, Media and Sport select committee has moved out of a second home which the taxpayer helped fund and is renting it out for £400 a week. He is now claiming expenses for renting out a property nearby.

http://www.channel4.com/news/new-expenses-row-as-at-least-32-mps-claim-for-rent

So we have some examples of swashbucklers well known to 'Boy David' Cameron! No wonder he was saying to the businessmen:

we need this buccaneering, deal-making, hungry spirit now more than ever

Arturo and I are off to find some sardine heads from the kitchen. Couldn't quite see if the Jolly Roger was flying from the Downing Street chimney!

'Bye'

Eton rules - but not OK @ No 10

"I don't believe it!" Arturo exclaimed. "Another old Etonian hits the high spots! Talk about 'Jolly boating weather' and 'Pull, pull together'!"

I listened more closely to the programme on the radio that Arturo was listening to with great intensity. The item? The future Archbishop of Canterbury!

I understood now what Arturo was gabbling on about. The new Archbishop of Canterbury is to be Justin Welby, the Bishop of Durham. So! What's surprising about that, do I hear you ask? Well - look at his biographical details:

Educated at Eton College before going to Trinity College, Cambridge to study history and law.

Ah Ha! Where have I heard that phrase 'Educated at Eton College' before? Just think about it. Can't think? Well look at this:

'Boy David' Cameron' Prime Minister, 'Educated at Eton College'

'Georgy' Gideon Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, 'Educated at Eton College'

Sir George 'Gloomy' Young, Chief Whip, 'Educated at Eton College'

Oliver 'Snake in the grass' Letwin, Minister for Government Policy, 'Educated at Eton College'

Nicholas 'Call me Nick' Hurd, Parliamentary Secretary, Cabinet Office, 'Educated at Eton College'

Hugo 'Love me do' Swire, Minister of State, Foreign and Commonwealth Office, 'Educated at Eton College'

Philip 'No Claims' Dunne, Parliamentary Under Secretary of State, Ministry of Defence, 'Educated at Eton College'

William 'Call me Bill' Wiggin, Assistant Government Whip, 'Educated at Eton College'

Wow! And that's not counting the 'Posh Boys' who went to Eton who are in the House of Lords! Of course, there is one other jolly old chap who we really could not omit from any list of influential Old Etonians and that is: Give him a big hand, yours truly:

Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, none other than 'Mop Head' Boris, Mayor of London, 'Educated at Eton College'

So, with all this VERY expensive education behind these leading lights, you would expect the UK to be flourishing, wouldn't you? But note this:

The Office for Budget Responsibility says:

Budget deficit ... still up on last year: Public sector net borrowing was £2.7 billion higher in the first six months of the fiscal year than in the equivalent period in 2011-12.

http://budgetresponsibility.independent.gov.uk/

The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) stated:

Unemployment will continue to rise over the projection period, due to job cuts in public administration and weak output growth.

http://www.oecd.org/eco/economicoutlookanalysisandforecasts/unitedkingdom-economicforecastsummarymay2012.htm

And this was the Government that reckoned it would put the UK on its economic feet! Some feet!

It's not just the UK economy that's in a mess, however. In the 21st century, there is still no agreement about a 'living wage'. Thousands of people are being paid below what is considered to be sufficient to live on.

The so-called reform of the NHS has caused dismay across large swathes of the country. Private health providers are licking their lips at the prospect of making a fast buck from the tattered service.

The English education system is in disarray. Academies and 'Free Schools' are springing up in areas where there is already social division. The English Language GCSE results have left pupils with a distrust of the examination marking system.

The Armed Forces are being cut to a shadow. Soldiers who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan are finding themselves cast aside.

There have been so many U-Turns in policy, since the present government came to power that all UK inhabitants are in a flat spin!

SO - where did all this VERY expensive education at Eton go wrong? Not enough Problem Solving Lessons? Possibly the Mathematics masters forgot to teach the pupils basic adding up and taking away. The Chancellor and Prime Minister certainly don't seem to know 'how many beans make two?'

One thing their VERY expensive education did teach them was Public Relations (PR). But PR is only the ability to utter meaningless soundbites! Hence, the mess the country is in!

So, all in all, Arturo and I aren't too sure of the value to the country of being 'Educated at Eton College'. The individuals concerned have acquired the skills of being able to climb up the greasy pole to advance themselves. But, the country certainly reaps no rewards; quite the contrary in fact. Maybe, just maybe, the new Archbishop of Canterbury will be the exception that proves the rule. Let's hope so!

As for two old alley cats like me and Arturo, although we started life in the gutter, we too have positions of power in Downing Street! Now that is what I call real social mobility!

'Bye'

Posh Boys & not so Posh Pussies - @ No 10

"I'll bet 'Boy David' Cameron is longing for a quiet weekend at Chequers." Arturo chuckled somewhat maliciously, I thought.

However - it has been quite a week for the 'Posh Boys' of Downing Street. 'Georgy' Osborne is keeping a lower profile than usual and trying to stay away from trains. I suppose this is after the fiasco of his Standard Class rail ticket being used whilst he was sitting in a First Class compartment! Tut! Tut! One would hope that a Chancellor of the Exchequer knew that it costs a few pounds more to take that liberty!! Still - being a 'Posh Boy' he has probably always had tickets bought for him. However - this is not the first time, no siree; he's done it before. Maybe 'Posh Boys' never learn!

This week, 'Georgy' Osborne has been given a lesson in how to promote growth in the UK regional economy by Tarzan! Incredible, do I hear you say? Ah! The Tarzan in question is none other than Lord Heseltine the former mace-wielding MP who really 'did for' Maggie Thatcher. He wasn't nicknamed 'Tarzan' for either of those feats but for his unruly blonde locks reminiscent of a wild man of the woods! However, to get to the point - Heseltine produced a report this week that won praise from many for stating what 'Georgy' should have been saying many months ago! Tarzan wrote in his introduction:

NO STONE UNTURNED

One man’s vision

The Government should set out a comprehensive strategy for national wealth creation, defining its view of its own role – and the limits of that role – together with those of others in local authorities, public bodies and the private sector.

This report makes 89 recommendations.

Some will say they are criticisms.

That is exactly the wrong approach.

To invite criticism is a sign of strength.

To accept it is a sign of confidence.

We are all too close to the economic crisis.

There is opportunity on a grand scale.

Huge infrastructure demands and hungry institutional funds – link them.

Excellence in industry, commerce, academia – extend it.

England’s cities pulsing with energy – unleash it.

Every one of us needs to rise to the challenge.

www.bis.gov.uk/.../12-1213-no-stone-unturned-in-pursuit-of-growth

In the report, Heseltine covers a wide variety of areas including an analysis of the economic crisis, localism, Whitehall, Government and growth, education and skills and finally a description of 'Making it happen'

Why on earth didn't 'Boy David' Cameron, the Prime Minister and 'Georgy' Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, have the nouse to think of these ideas themselves!

Thomas Pascoe writing in the Telegraph said:

Bravo, Lord Heseltine, for saying what Britain has needed to hear for a long time

He ended his blog:

Lord Heseltine is one of a dwindling number of survivors from a generation which did, rather than looked for excuses not to do. His report is a serious challenge to our industrial policy and I hope it is greeted by affirming actions, not merely affirming words.

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/finance/thomaspascoe/100021044/bravo-lord-heseltine-for-saying-what-britain-has-needed-to-hear-for-a-long-time/

How both Cameron and Osborne long for such kind words to be written about them!

Instead of kind words, Cameron suffered his first parliamentary defeat in the House of Commons over the EU Budget! The worry for him must be that it was his own backbenchers who caused the defeat. In fact, he was even compared to 'John Major', the former Conservative PM who was torn to bits by anti-EU Conservatives. The Huff Post reported:

Speaking during Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday, Miliband mocked Cameron's inability to control his own MPs.

"He can't convince European leaders, he can't even convince his own backbenchers. He is weak abroad he is weak at home, it's John Major over again," he said.

He added: "How can he be giving up on a cut in the EU budget before the negotiations have begun?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/10/31/miliband-cameron-as-weak-as-john-major-over-europe_n_2048923.html

So, that's why Arturo reckons the 'Posh Boys' must be longing for a retreat to the country! Of course, there's possibly another reason. A reason close to Arturo's and to my heart!! There was serious caterwauling in Downing Street, last week! The Telegraph reported:

Police called to break up violent cat fight in Downing Street: Larry the Downing Street cat and Freya, the Chancellor's moggy, go at it hammer and tongs on the steps of No 10.

Beneath the headline was a blood-curdling image of our old Larry being dealt a truly 'knock-out' blow from Freya, Georgy's errant moggy! If you want to see it, go to: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/9611897/Police-called-to-break-up-violent-cat-fight-in-Downing-Street.html

Not a pretty sight!

As for me and Arturo, we're dining in tonight! Larry is in disgrace upstairs at No 10. Freya is in her cat basket. So we have the run of the place!

'Bye'

More Omnishambles! @ No 10

"He's done it again," Arturo chuckled.

"Done what?" I asked

"Engaged his mouth before using his brain!"

The 'he', in question, was none other than our 'Boy David' Cameron. He really did use his mouth without consulting his brain at Prime Minister's Questions, this week. The furore has yet to die down!

On Wednesday, at PMQs, he was asked by MP, Chris Williamson, what action he would take:

to help people reduce their energy bills

The Prime Minister, in somewhat of a flurried state, announced:

We have encouraged people to switch, which is one of the best ways to get energy bills down. I can announce, which I am sure the hon. Gentleman will welcome, that we will be legislating so that energy companies have to give the lowest tariff to their customers

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm121017/debtext/121017-0001.htm#12101758000008

Now - that was some statement: "we will be legislating so that energy companies have to give the lowest tariff to their customers"! Praises rang out through the Nation! Energy companies, whose profits have been doing 'very nicely thank you', would be brought kicking and screaming into giving out fair deals! So that's alright then!

Is it, really? Nothing is ever quite straightforward with this ConDem Government! There have been endless u-turns to policy announcements - too many to list! So! Was this latest Prime Ministerial statement going to herald another such u-turn? Let's see ...

Poor old Ed Davey, Minister of State for Energy, must have been bemused by his Boss announcing energy policy without being forewarned! He was happily addressing the CBI one day after the Prime Ministerial bombshell. Had to be a bit careful, didn't he? Did't want to upset the apple-cart, as they say! So - what exactly did 'Poor Old' Ed Davey say? He said of those dastardly 'Big Six' Energy Companies:

They will have to tell their customers every year what is the best available tariff

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/energy/9616950/Energy-policy-shambles-as-David-Cameron-and-Ed-Davey-outline-opposing-plans.html

No mention of the beloved PMs words "... have to give their lowest tariff"! Clever bit of footwork - or rather mouth-work - by 'Poor Old' Ed Davey who must have had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach!

The plot thickened still further. There was another creature who was landed in the mess even more than 'Poor Old' Ed Davey. That was the actual Minister for Energy himself John Hayes! Whilst his boss, the Secretary of State was no doubt eating caviar with the CBI, Hayes was left to face the full force of questioning in the House of Commons, from Caroline Flint, Shadow Energy Secretary.

To be fair he gave, like the Winnie-the-Pooh lookalike that he is, a rather endearing performance! He stumbled through his answers without giving any indication he had a clue about what the PM had announced.

This was what Caroline Flint said:

Yesterday, the Prime Minister threw energy policy into confusion, causing chaos — I ask the Secretary of State to make a statement on the matter.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm121018/debtext/121018-0001.htm#12101828000004

Hayes, in his best 'Winnie-the-Pooh' voice, replied:

Following the Prime Minister’s announcement yesterday, I am pleased to confirm that we will be bringing forward legislation to help energy consumers to get the best deal. We have already regulated, we have plans to improve competition and simplify tariffs in the retail market process, and we will improve liquidity and competition in the wholesale market, through the Energy Bill, in weeks rather than months. A number of options are being considered... This is a complicated area, and we will have discussions with the industry, consumer groups and the regulator in order to work through the detail.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201213/cmhansrd/cm121018/debtext/121018-0001.htm#12101828000004

Poor John Hayes!! As an article in 'Power Engineering' stated:

Mr Hayes admitted he did not know the Prime Minister was planning to announce legislation to force energy companies to offer consumers the lowest possible tariff.

http://www.power-eng.com/news/2012/10/19/cameron-intervention-caused-chaos.html

Arturo was beside himself with glee at this 'omnishambles'. He told me:

"You know, mi old pal! 'Boy David' Cameron is a well trained PR man! He delights in having the skills of a Public Relations expert. But in my youth, I knew a doctor who used to write on his prescriptions when appropriate, 'to be given PR'. Do you know what 'PR' meant, in that context?"

I shook my innocent head. I knew Arturo would enlighten me! He always does. He continued:

"PR, in medical parlance, means 'per rectum'. In other words medicine is given via the patient's bum! Now you and I know, don't we, that things come out of your bum as well! The pity is that 'Boy David' Cameron obviously gets his mouth and bum confused!

Now that really is food for thought! It's more omnishambles at No 10!

Talking of food - we're going to the kitchen of a nice little Italian restaurant tonight!

'Ciao!'

Posh boys still rule - but not OK @ No 10

So - the party conference season has come and gone. It has been quiet for Arturo and me in the corridors of Downing Street. The rats and mice had a great time gobbling up the fancy leftovers from the kitchen floors of Nos 10 and 11. Then, we rounded up old Larry and caught the lot of them!

Arturo and I settled down by the TV to watch 'Georgy' Osborne give his speech. A pretty dismal performance. 'Georgy' kept nodding his head in total agreement with himself. He was reminiscent of one of those 'nodding dogs' - particularly bulldogs - who sit on the rear shelves of cars. He had the same hapless look and pleading eyes as if begging for a pat on the head from his Boss! Instead, we expect he got a kick up the ar** the next day when the IMF published its figures on the UK economy!

The Boss man himself prepared to give his speech after the much applauded, pantomime performance of 'Mop Head' Johnson. Arturo and I noticed that the make-up artists who strive to give Cameron the orange-glow of virility had opted for a new look. Seldom have I seen such a thick layer of pale gunge plastered on 'Boy David' Cameron's face! It contrasted rather starkly with the remnants of the orange-glow from his neck and the purple of his tie! Arturo ventured to suggest that it had been applied so that he looked like one of the 'sickly plebs' so despised by the Chief Whip.

After all as Arturo said:

"The NEETS (Not in Education, Employment or Training) are starving and cold - so the PM had better look like they do, as well - a great vote-catcher that! It's known as the sympathy vote!"

A tad cynical, I thought - but then again ...

The Cameron speech was not a thrilling theatrical moment though it was full of PR phrases:

Though the challenge before us is daunting, I have confidence in our country. Why? Because Britain can deliver. We can do big things. We saw it this summer. The Jubilee, the Olympics, the Paralympics... the best country in the world..

Now that got them on their feet! Good bit of PR there! But there was more to come! Knowing the popularity of the 'Mop Head', the PR man that is Cameron knew he had to bite the bullet so he referred to him in the following terms:

..the zinger on the zip-wire...the Conservative Mayor of London: our Boris Johnson.

Note the 'our'! Clever stuff that!

Now down to the nitty-gritty! 'Our' 'Boy David' had declared himself a passionate supporter of the NHS. What would he say now - now that it is in tatters! He said:

To all those people who said we'd bring the NHS down...I say...well, yes, you've got a point. I'll tell you what is down.

Waiting lists - down. Mixed wards - down. The number of managers - down. Bureaucratic targets - down. Hospital infections - down.

And what's up? The number of doctors, the number of dentists, the number of midwives, the number of operations carried out in our NHS.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/conservative-party-conference-2012-in-birmingham-full-transcript-of-david-camerons-speech-8205536.html

Now that had them all cheering in the serried ranks of the great Tory backwaters! But the truth - the truth, Mr Cameron, is rather different! The NHS is 'down'. It's not quite 'down and out' but almost. As the following blog pointed out:

* South London Healthcare Trust * Mid Staffordshire Trust * Peterborough and Stamford Trust

The three Trusts above are perilously close to being broken up and sold off to private companies. South London & Mid Staffordshire FTs are already in administration & Peterborough looks set to follow that way at Christmas. ... Among those reporting an interest were Virgin Care and Serco. If the deals were 10 year Franchises like Hinchingbrooke, it could mean the tendering of up to £4.5bn of services in South London alone. Mid Staffs sell off could lead to up to £2bn of services being sold off. Peterborough is not quite there yet but Circle Healthcare have identified it as a Trust that they see themselves in with a chance of taking over. The 3 large Foundation Trusts listed above are on the brink of being broken up and sold off to varying degrees. We will begin to hear of the plans for South London in the next fortnight.

http://eoin-clarke.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/view-nhs-trusts-facing-franchise.html

So, "Yes, Prime Minister!" It was fitting that you put on the whey-faced stance! The orange-glow of your normal look would have turned a nasty shade of beige when you said:

So be in no doubt: this is the party of the NHS and that's the way it's going to stay.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/conservative-party-conference-2012-in-birmingham-full-transcript-of-david-camerons-speech-8205536.html

I asked Arturo what score he would have given 'Boy David' for his performance if the speech had been the equivalent of dancing the tango on Strictly Come Dancing!

"On delivery - I'd have given 3 out of 10. On factual accuracy, I'd have given him zilch!"

Wise old cat is Arturo! With 'Boy David' and wife away, we decided to forgo a 'kitchen supper'. I'll treat him to a fish-pie at the corner cafe tonight!

'Bye'

Surely not Big Brother @ No 10

"This party conference season gets on my tits!" Arturo stated firmly. "They're all acting like salesmen selling themselves as brands!"

He is right, you know. Last week we had the unedifying figure of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg being prepared to say or do anything to gain love and affection. All rather pathetic really. At the end of the week, everyone hated him just the same. Humiliation and grovelling are not in Clegg's known vocabulary.

This week, it's Labour's opportunity to try to shine. Will they succeed any better? Who knows! However, they do have one thing going for them - a large juicy lead in the opinion polls. Now that is something not to be sniffed at!

Ed 'Gromit-lookalike' Miliband has started well by telling everyone that he knows how to handle the banks and those 'swine' bankers! Great news! But saying he will and actually doing it are not one and the same thing. Still, Arturo and I were cheered by this.

All that Ed 'Gromit-lookalike' Miliband needs to do now is to agree with the letter writers in the Guardian who wrote:

We urge delegates and conference organisers to help ensure the essential content of the resolutions is discussed, voted on and passed, and all parts of the Labour party to join with health workers' unions and health campaigners to defend the NHS against the Tories' assault.

www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/28/labour-policy-waiting-game>

Of course, the real expert salesmen are the Tories. Most have not been used car salesman or double-glazing reps - their daddies probably owned the companies. But 'Boy David' Cameron, 'Georgy' Osborne et al still have to sell themselves! Cameron has even tried to 'sell' himself to the Americans and Brazilians. Janet Daley of the Telegraph was not impressed:

There was a headline on one of the television news channel websites last week which read (this is an exact quote): “PM David Cameron addressed the UN on the need to support the Arab Spring, before appearing on the Letterman show”. Does anybody else see the incongruity here? What if it had said, “Prime Minister offers plan for world peace before doing limbo dance with banana balanced on his nose”? We have now apparently reached the point where a major national leader’s stint on a comedy programme has pretty much the same political news value as an intervention in the most dangerous global conflict of our time.

This came under the headline : 'Likeability’ is the bane of modern politics: Clowning around on a chat show, or even being a devoted Dad, may count for less than having a serious grasp of economic reality.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9575605/Likeability-is-thebane-of-modern-politics.html

Janet Daley's comments are sad but true. What must Cameron, Clegg and Miliband do to ensure they lead their parties into the next Election? Easy! Get picked for Big Brother!!! Shush! Quietly now! They mustn't let 'Mop Head' Johnson hear that! He already thinks he's on Big Brother everyday - and we all know how popular he is!

Arturo and I are dining in tonight - we're rodent hunting.

'Bye'

Clegg's Machinations @ No 10

"Pity we're not in Brighton." Arturo said. "Even all this rain wouldn't deter me from trotting down the jolly old prom to hear the latest examples of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg's machinations!"

And it is raining! It's pouring! The sky is black, the air is chill! The birds are shivering in the rose-garden! But Arturo is wrong about one thing. We don't have to be in Brighton in person. We can watch the horrors as they unfold on the tele! And horrors they sure are!

Our 'Wailing Lad' has wailed his apology to the students before our very eyes! Mark you, he had a good speech trainer! His words were almost - almost - the right ones - but not quite. His words were somehow 'hollow'. They smacked of the tones of a desperate man seeking to hold on to his position as Leader of the Liberal Democrats!

It seems that the whispering about a possible challenger for his role as head of the beleaguered party persuaded him to utter the words that must have stuck in his teeth: 'I'm sorry!'

Patrick Wintour writing in the Guardian under the headline 'Nick Clegg's much-mocked mea culpa shows he plans to remain as leader' stated:

Clegg is not apologising for breaking the pledge, but for making it in the first place. He also insisted, possibly unwisely, that the pledge "was made with the best of intentions".

The difficulty here is that the pledge given to the National Union of Students not to vote for any increase in tuition fees in the coming parliament was in truth a pretty grubby act designed to garner some student votes. Many senior party figures opposed it as such at the time.

So - 'Wailing Lad' is again running true to form. The 'pretty grubby act designed to garner some student votes' is not so dissimilar from the 'grubby' reasons for apologising now! He wants to stay in power!

Wintour continued:

Lofty words were spoken by Clegg at the manifesto launch on how every pledge, including the one to phase out tuition fees over six years, had been costed.

He said: "There is one other major innovation in this manifesto. We have scrutinised public spending line by line, and found the savings we need to pay for all of our priorities as Vince [Cable] explained …

"I believe this is the first time a political party has spelled out its figures, line by line, right there in its manifesto. Turn to page 100. The figures are there for everyone to see. We know how every policy will be paid for. These are promises you can trust …"

But on the BBC's Newsnight on Wednesday Cable said he had always been personally sceptical about the affordability of the pledge, adding that "it was an unwise commitment to have made".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/20/nick-clegg-plans-to-remain-leader?intcmp=239

Of course, this does not reflect well on 'Invincible' Vince Cable and other senior LibDems either. If they knew the figures didn't add up - why on earth let the so-called 'pledge' go through? But then, this is politics! As Arturo said to me this morning: "You don't expect the Devil to take off his horns! Why expect a politician to act other than perfidiously?"

Very cynical but true!

Arturo and I are going to keep our paws dry! We'll be watching TV and munching anchovies!

'Bye'

NHS gets the kiss-of-death @ No 10

"Would you get a viper to look after your baby?" Arturo asked. Before I could respond, he said: "No, you certainly would not! Yet, this 'Boy David' Cameron has put the NHS into the hands of Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt! Cameron is either stupid or devious!"

Arturo was so disturbed that he hissed and spat at the monitor in front of him: "Just take a look at the blog, The Green Benches, written by Dr Éoin Clarke. That says it all! He's done some digging around and discovered things about Hunt that would make any future patient of the NHS shiver."

Naturally I scurried to the nearest laptop and looked up the blog. I found a post headed:Jeremy Hunt co-authored a book in 2009 calling for the NHS to be dismantled & no longer relevant. The very title is alarming. If accurate, then 'Boy David' has given the kiss-of-death to the NHS. The blog states:

Hunt's derision for our NHS is also evident in a book he co-authored in 2009. In that book, Jeremy Hunt called for the NHS to be dismantled. Hunt is also reported to have argued that the NHS was "no longer relevant". His co-author in the same publication entitled Direct Democracy was Daniel Hannan who sparked outrage when he called the NHS, "A 60 year mistake" .

http://eoin-clarke.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/jeremy-hunt-co-authored-book-in-2009.html

It seems as early as 2009 that Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt's negative view of the NHS was well known. The Mirror ran the following headline: 3 top Tories call for NHS to be dismantled. The article stated:

David Cameron's claim to back the NHS was shot down again yesterday as more Tories attacked our healthcare system.

Three of his Shadow Cabinet - Michael Gove, Greg Clark and Jeremy Hunt - called for the health service to be dismantled. They claimed it was "no longer relevant" in a book, Direct Democracy, co-authored with Tory MEP Daniel Hannan.

Mr Hannan sparked outrage last week by calling the NHS a "60year-old mistake" on US TV.

And Health Secretary Andy Burnham last night challenged the Tory leader to withdraw the whip from the MEP and remove anyone from his frontbench who opposed the NHS.

Tory MP Douglas Carswell, co-author of another book with Mr Hannan called The Plan, said he stood by his words, branding the NHS the "National Sickness Service".

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/3-top-tories-call-for-nhs-413096

What I find hard to square is the fact that 'Boy David' Cameron harped on and on, before the election, just how much he valued the NHS! Some Valuing! Value? - I don't think so! If he valued it so much, he would have curbed that twit Lansley from doing his best to wreck the system. Now, Cameron has compounded it by appointing a declared NHS-phobic to be Secretary of State for Health! To coin a Pickles' expression - 'Boy David' Cameron is living in 'la la land'!

On 6 September, Brian Reade wrote in the Mirror: A dumb, on-message patsy: Why Jeremy Hunt's health job is such a sick joke. The article stated:

Our most ­precious institution, which could be charged with saving your life tomorrow, is wrestling with the most complex pressures in its history, and the PM wants it to be run by a man who lacks brains, guts or gravitas and is on record as wanting the NHS dismantled.

Can this get any worse? Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt 'lacks brains, guts or gravitas'. And this is the man who has been made Secretary of State for Health!

Briane Reade continued:

A few weeks back I told of a writer friend who, after several meetings with Hunt, described him thus: “He is, without doubt, the thickest man in a suit that I’ve ever had a conversation with.

"There is ­nothing ­going on behind the eyes. It’s like trying to get through to a mollusc in a coma.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/why-jeremy-hunt-as-health-secretary-is-such-a-sick-1306533

Wow! That's really letting him 'have it'! Even Arturo would not have thought up the 'mollusc in a coma' phrase - I like it!

Fleet Street Fox has been even more vociferous in his column in the Mirror. He wrote : Jeremy Hunt is the man with nine lives - and now he's looking after yours. Not too bad a headline, are you thinking? Well - read the article! Here's a flavour of it:

So a man who charged the taxpayer for Mandarin lessons the same year he married a Chinese wife, whose job was to oversee the shambolic security preparations for the Olympics, who blamed the Hillsborough disaster on hooliganism, and who had a non-partisan role overseeing the takeover of a broadcaster by a media company with whose owners he was surprisingly chummy, with whose lobbyist he played tennis, and with which the multi-million pound company he still owns shares in did business, who was hauled before an inquiry and called a liar, doesn't get sacked.

He gets promoted to a more important job looking after an organisation which saves lives. Never mind that he's as ham-fisted as a clown juggling greased pigs, never mind that he ignores medical and scientific fact to support homeopathy and voted to slash the abortion time limit; no, the best person to be placed in charge of your stupid lives is the man who has nine of his own.

By my reckoning Jeremy Hunt's been through eight already, so hopefully he won't be in charge of the NHS for too long.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fleet-street-fox-column-jeremy-1302938

Ouch! Ouch! And ouch again! Being a cat who desperately hopes all nine of my lives are still intact - I wonder about the validity of Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt having already lost 8 of his own! A very dodgy situation to be in, I would say! One false step and he'll need all the help the NHS can give him. Maybe, as Fleet Street Fox suggests, 'Gormless' Hunt is a reincarnation of a cat - in which case he'll be needing the RSPCA, the Blue Cross or the PDSA.

Arturo and I padded down to watch the Athlete's Parade through the Mall - we scampered away at speed when we saw the familiar faces of 'Boy David' Cameron and Mop-Head Johnson preparing to 'speak'! Couldn't face it! But, at least we saw neither hide nor hair of the 'Gormless' one! And that, I can tell you, was one thing to be grateful for!

'Bye'

'Bagpuss' Pickles at it again @ No 10

"This Pickles berk is at it again!" Arturo announced.

"What do you mean - 'at it'?" I asked.

"Trying to wreck the countryside! As long as he gets short-term results he doesn't give a hoot for conservation. Just take a look at this." He pointed at a monitor.

The screen had the headline: Eric Pickles threatens to strip councils of planning powers : Communities secretary says he will hand powers to centralised authority if councils are too slow to make decisions

It was an article in the Guardian by Patrick Wintour reporting the fact that 'Bagpuss' Pickles intends to take away certain powers from local planning authorities. Wintour writes:

Eric Pickles the communities secretary, has warned he will strip local councils of their planning powers and hand them to a centralised Planning Inspectorate if they show a record of poor-quality or slow decision making.

The threat is designed as a lever to force what he described as councils living in "an economic la la land" to allow more housebuilding in their area.

The Planning Inspectorate would also have the power to override all agreements between councils and developers to reduce the number of affordable homes required, so making a development more profitable, and hence more likely to be built.

Labour described the Treasury-inspired measure, buried in a package of housing announcements meant to boost growth, as "a bombshell that threatens local decision making on planning decisions"

Clearly, the only one in 'la la land' is our 'Bagpuss' Pickles. Subtlety is not one of his finer points - you only need to observe him closely to see that!

Pickles received support from - guess who? That's right, the clown without make-up - 'Wailing Lad' Clegg - our very own Nicholas Ridiculous! It just had to be him, didn't it? According to Wintour:

Nick Clegg argued that the measures would not have a negative impact because the government would invest an extra £300m drawn from other departments to help build a further 15,000 affordable homes.

However, the fact is that vast numbers of building permissions have already been granted with no evidence of work being carried out. Wintour writes:

The Local Government Association (LGA) countered that the problem was not the planning system, pointing out that there were already 400,000 planning plots with permission to build. "At the current rate of construction it would take developers three and a quarter years to clear the backlog by building all of the new homes local authorities have signed off," the LGA said.

The association said government figures showed that councils were more positive towards development than ever, with the percentage of planning applications being given the green light hitting a 10-year high last year.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/06/eric-pickles-councils-planning-powers?CMP=twt_fd

Ah ha! So there are 40,000 planning plots that already have permission to build - but not a brick has been laid down. So why is 'Bagpuss' Pickles sticking his oar in? Why is Clegg backing him up? They are typical politicians - they'll say or do anything to attract the headlines - even if, as in 'Wailing Lad' Clegg's case it means compromising his principles. 'Bagpuss' Pickles, like several others in his party, is such a one off that it's difficult to know whether he even understands the meaning of the word 'principles'!

The Telegraph also reports the planning announcements. James Kirkup has the headline:

David Cameron: build your way out of recession with home improvements. Home owners will be allowed to build large conservatories and extensions without requiring planning permission, David Cameron will announce, under plans to encourage a home improvements boom to stimulate the struggling economy.

The final paragraph states:

The Prime Minister later convened his new Cabinet, telling ministers they were all responsible for coming up with ideas to stimulate a recovery.

“What really matters now with the Cabinet changes, with the extensive government changes that I have made, is that we really demonstrate that this is a government that means business,” he said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9524089/David-Cameron-build-your-way-out-of-recession-with-home-improvements.html

"Well, well!" Arturo said. "After two and a half years in government - the Prime Minister 'Boy David' Cameron has just decided that he heads up a government that 'means business'. So what's he been doing all this time? Playing at being PM?"

I didn't answer the question. I just nudged him and headed for the kitchen - we're going to have a kitchen supper. Appropriate, don't you agree?

'Bye'

Zero hours contracts for Ministers, please @ No 10

Arturo was more than a bit animated: "I say, Butch mi old pal! Do you see what I see? Even the upstairs cat, Larry, is leaving the sinking ship!"

He was right. Behind Nick Robinson's shoulders on BBC TV News last night, Larry and friend were distinctly seen quitting their posts. We all know that rats leave a sinking ship - but this was ridiculous!

Of course, we both knew why Larry was getting out of the way. 'Boy David' Cameron has been pacing the corridors saying : "Am I a man or a mouse? Am I a man or a mouse?"

Well - we all know the answer to that, don't we - he's neither man nor mouse but a jerk! And today, he demonstrated his foolishness with great aplomb. He gave the job of Secretary of State for Health to none other than Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt. Yes, he of the shifty look who you can hear whimper: "It weren't me, Guv, honest!"

In a much respected blog, 'The Green Benches', written by Dr Éoin Clarke dismay is expressed at the promotion of 'Gormless' Hunt.

Cameron's new man in charge of the NHS, Jeremy Hunt, supports cutting NHS funding for the poor & giving it to the rich.

http://eoin-clarke.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/camerons-new-man-in-charge-of-nhs.html

The 'new man in charge of the NHS' will discover an already butchered service. The Coalition is so desperate to save money that it will destroy almost anything of value. Hence, 'zero hours contracts' are being implemented across large swathes of the NHS.

You do know about zero hours contracts, don't you? In case you don't - take a look at James Cusick's article in the Independent on 3 September. It was headed:

Health warning over army of NHS 'temps'

It makes chilling reading for anyone concerned about the future of patient care.

Cusik writes:

NHS trusts are increasingly employing key clinical staff on "zero-hours" contracts which threaten to turn parts of the reformed service into an army of "temps".

Hospital trusts and private firms are turning to the contracts – which bind employees to on-call working but do not guarantee any specified number of hours or income or employment rights – to meet demands in the Government's controversial market-driven changes to the NHS, The Independent has learnt.

The move risks damaging training and expertise, critics say, and could risk a "G4S-style" situation where trusts could find that supposedly key employees are not available to work.

Is this any way to run a National Health Service? I think not! What type of people will be prepared, after years of training, to be employed on this basis?

Cusik continued:

The shadow Health Secretary, Andy Burnham, said: "I'm calling on the Government to halt the spread of zero-hours contracts in the NHS pending an urgent review into the potential risks to continuity of care and patient safety."

Mr Burnham said that the growing use of the contracts was a "depressing symptom of the Government's drive to turn England's health service into a full-blown market".

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/health-warning-over-army-of-nhs-temps-8101469.html

The Mail Online was equally exercised over the NHS zero hours affair.

Increasing numbers of highly skilled clinical staff are being employed on McDonalds-style 'zero-hours' contracts, risking the health and safety of NHS patients, it was revealed today.

The controversial deals bind staff to being on call, despite having no guarantees on hours, pay or some employment rights.

McDonald's, the world's biggest fast-food chain, employs the majority of its 87,500 UK staff on this basis, allowing them to call in workers at short notice at busy periods or not at all if it is quiet.

They only get paid for the hours they are there, meaning they are 'in work, but not always at work,' experts say.

The NHS has used this kind of contract to cover low-skilled jobs like cleaning, but now it is claimed the Government's controversial reforms are allowing more trusts to use them to cover frontline staff treating the public in hospitals and clinics.

These include cardiac services, physiotherapy, psychiatric therapy, and hearing services.

The Mail Online continued:

Critics fear that trusts could be left in a 'G4S situation', where they are unable to muster enough staff when some of these 'zero-hours' staff fail to turn up for shifts because they are working elsewhere or put off the job because of their contract.

G4S suffered humiliation this summer when on the eve of London 2012 it revealed it could not bring in enough staff, meaning thousands of soldiers were brought in to guard the Games.

http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news/article.html?articleID=2197532

"If this Coalition government thinks that zero hours contracts are good enough for doctors and nurses - then zero hours contracts are certainly good enough for Coalition Ministers." Arturo shook his head, then added: "What sort of contract do you reckon old Larry's got?"

We're going mousing tonight - upstairs!

'Bye'

Hard-hats for Georgy @ No 10

"Have you noticed" Arturo asked, "that our beloved Chancellor is always photographed wearing a hard-hat? Sometimes it's white, other times it's yellow! He never wears a trilby, a flat cap or a beret - it's always a hard-hat."

I had, in fact, noticed the phenomenon. You hardly ever see a picture of 'Georgy' Osborne without the seemingly obligatory head-wear these days. One has to ask oneself why does he do this? Is it:
a) To endeavour to look as if he is actually doing something practical?
b) To fend off the brick-bats coming his way from the far right Tories?
c) To protect his limited brain cells from the deft blows delivered by Business Secretary,'Invincible' Cable?

If the above were multiple choice questions in a GCSE examination, which one would you select?.

Maybe, 'Georgy' Osborne needs to acquire a double strength hard-hat in the coming days and weeks and take to wearing it at all times. Why, do I hear you ask? Well, David 'Bruiser' Davis is out gunning for poor old 'Georgy'. Robert Watts on 2 September wrote in the Telegraph, :

David Davis, the standard bearer for the Tory Right, has made a wide-ranging attack on the Government’s economic strategy, warning that another round of cuts before the next General Election is now “unavoidable”.

The Tory Right have got the bit between their decayed teeth and are chomping to ensure that their own parliamentary seats will be safe at the next election. They see what they regard as the weak leadership of the troublesome Cameron-Clegg-Osborne triumvirate as a near disaster! They demand that 'Boy David' Cameron should exert his 'true' Tory authority over the wishy-washy Coalition.

According to Robert Watts, the mood in the Tory party is not happy:

Mr Davis is to deliver a speech titled “there is an alternative economy policy” in London tomorrow. Meanwhile backbenchers are expected to vent their frustrations at a parliamentary dinner hosted by Mr Cameron on Wednesday evening...

“The mood in the party is pretty bloody and the outlook is depressing,” another leading backbencher told this newspaper. “It certainly seems another round of cuts is coming – that’s the impression one gets from the Treasury.

“People are starting to realise its going to be bloody difficult for a long time. We’ve probably got 15 or 20 years of this [spending cuts]. It is becoming plain that an alternative policy is needed.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9514859/Cut-tax-and-spend-less-Tory-Right-tells-George-Osborne.html

So, you see, that is why 'Georgy' is wearing his hard-hats! With so many 'bloody' critics, he is not on safe ground! Maybe, it's time that he gave a hard-hat to his pal in No 10! It certainly looks as though they'll both need one, in the coming days and weeks!

Arturo and I are dining out tonight. We had an invitation from Fred, the black cat who lives at the Treasury. He's promised us caviar, the remains of a Sunday buffet! Yum! Yum!

'Bye'

Butchery of the NHS @ No 10

Arturo is still recovering from watching the Olympics and the start of the Paralympics! He's in training for the Catalympics, he says!

As for me, I'm still monitoring the news, even though the corridors of power here in Downing Street are devoid of hide and hair belonging to 'Boy David' Cameron and 'Georgy' Osborne. However, their policies march on regardless.

For instance, the NHS is still in the process of being butchered, whether they are here or on the Costa Brava! On Monday, the Telegraph featured the headline:A global NHS? What a shameful idea: It is wrong-headed for NHS hospitals to market their skills internationally. The piece, written by Max Pemberton, critically analysed the idea that the NHS should be marketed abroad.

Pemberton wrote:

It is a recipe for disaster to expect hospitals to behave like fast-food chains or clothing stores. Hospitals should be focusing every shred of their attention on improving their services for patients, here, in this country. Hospitals are not businesses; they are places that are funded by us, for us, when we become unwell. The proposals miss the whole point of the NHS and what makes it a system for delivering healthcare worthy of attention.

Like the grubby men in string vests and gold sovereign rings who sit outside brothels beckoning gullible tourists, the Government is attempting to pimp out the NHS to foreigners by promising something that it cannot deliver. The NHS it is selling is a perverse pastiche of the NHS that we have in this country, stripped of the essence of what makes it valuable to us.

It’s not the NHS as a product that is revolutionary and worthy of export, it’s the NHS as a concept. The main appeal of the NHS to people around the world is the fact that it is a cheap, effective and equitable way of delivering healthcare. It is the notion of a system that is free at the point of delivery, regardless of ability to pay, that makes it valuable. The great irony of all this is that if we wanted to export the real ethos of the NHS, as opposed to what might be represented by some bland, meaningless logo, then we would be going around encouraging foreign governments to reject market principles and develop a socialised model of healthcare. And this isn’t going to happen.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/9499177/A-global-NHS-What-a-shameful-idea.html

According to Arturo, the present Coalition really would like the NHS to 'behave like fast-food chains or clothing stores'. In fact, he says it's already happening and the Coalition are more than happy about it!

Also on Monday, Allyson Pollock writing in the Guardian stated:
NHS franchising: the toxic world of globalised healthcare is upon us: Staff wages and benefits eroded through privatisation is nothing compared to what is in store for patients

Ah ha! Now there's the rub! It isn't just the other countries who are going to 'pay through the nose' for the care - it's the poor suckers whose taxes have actually paid for the NHS, as well!

Allyson Pollock wrote:

Under the government's franchise plan for the NHS, shareholders and equity investors will use the service's logo as a Trojan horse to prise open the budgets of other countries' health systems and to front up their unethical, fraudulent and inequitable activities.

The article continued:

NHS hospitals and services are being sold off or incorporated; land and buildings are being turned over to bankers and equity investors. RBS, Assura, Serco and Carillion, to name but a few, are raking in billions in taxpayer funds for leasing out and part-operating PFI hospitals, community clinics and GP surgeries that we once owned.

Strangled by PFI debts and funding cuts, NHS foundation trusts compound their problems by entering into joint ventures. The great NHS divestiture, which began in 1990 with the introduction of the internal market and accelerated under the PFI programme, now takes the form of franchising, management buyout and corporate takeovers of our public hospitals. Virgin has been awarded £630m to provide services to vulnerable people and children in Surrey and Devon. Circle has been given the franchise for NHS hospital Hinchingbrooke and is now struggling to contain its debts. London teaching hospitals are merging to give them greater leverage for borrowing and cuts.

Can things get any worse? Well ... read on:

Loss of public control means higher cost and fewer services, as we have learned from the toxic record of the US corporations which are now part of England's new healthcare market and helped design it. Billing, invoicing, marketing and advertising will add between 30% and 50% to costs compared with 6% in the former NHS bureaucracy.

Patient charges will become commonplace. Fraudulent billing and embezzlement will become endemic. Take HCA, one of the largest and most profitable US chains and controlled by private equity firms including Mitt Romney's Bain Capital. In 2006 HCA International described its first joint venture with the NHS, the PFI University College London Hospital (UCLH), as "the establishment of Harley Street at UCLH".

HCA-UCLH provides cancer treatment to those who can pay from the 15th floor of the hospital. But currently some of HCA's American hospitals are under investigation for refusing care and performing unnecessary investigations and treatment, including cardiac surgery.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/aug/27/nhs-privatisation-toxic-world-healthcare

So, I'd suggest one of two things to anyone in the UK reading this:
1. Don't get sick!
2. Start saving your pennies in a contingency piggy-bank!

'Boy David' Cameron and his smart-arsed sidekick 'Georgy' Osborne maybe out-of-town but their policies are rolling on. As Arturo said:
Here at No 10 and No 11 there's a massacre of the NHS taking place and it's worthy of Custer's Last Stand!
Arturo and I are so glad we're cats! We still have the RSPCA and the PDSA to pick up the pieces when one of our nine lives goes down the plughole!

'Bye'

Pussyfooting, pussy riot - whatever - @ No 10

The word 'pussy' in the nicest possible way, you understand, is in vogue. Arturo was not amused! He thought it made fun of us pussys! I disagree. Any news about a pussy is good news as far as I'm concerned. Take for instance, the use of 'pussyfooting' by the Mop-Head Johnson.

Stop 'pussyfooting' and build London a new airport, Boris Johnson tells David Cameron:Mayor demands action after Games boosts his popularity, and hints he may run for Parliament

That was the bold headline in the Independent. The article by Nigel Morris must have sent shivers down the spine of 'Boy David' Cameron! How he secretly must have wished that the London Mayor was still dangling in mid-air from the zip-wire! Maybe he even hoped that the wire had snapped and catapulted the 'Mop-Head' into outer space!

The article continued:

The Mayor hit out over the delay of consultation into the expansion of airport capacity. He insisted that South-East England needed a new airport to meet rapidly growing demand, arguing that building a third runway at Heathrow would not be sufficient.

"The Government needs to stop pussy-footing around. I don't think you can rely on Heathrow," he told the London Evening Standard. "Even if the Government was so mad and wrong to try to do the third runway or mixed-mode [having take-offs and landings on the same runway], those solutions would rapidly run out of usefulness and time."

Mop-Head Johnson mischievously suggested that there was a rift between Chancellor 'Georgy' Osborne and the beloved PM over the new airport. Perish the thought! Nothing daunted our impetuous 'Mop-Head' continued - murdering the English language in the process:

"The attempt to try and long-grass it for three years into the other side of the election is just not realistic. Totally mad and it won't work."

Now, I ask you - when did the verb 'to long-grass' come into being? I long-grass, you long-grass, he/she/it long-grasses!! Doesn't work, does it? But Mop-Head Johnson is not one for niceties when he's out for blood. And he is out for the scalp of 'Boy David' Cameron. Or - to be more correct, it's not exactly the scalp he wants - after all he has a mop of hair and poor old 'Boy David' is rather thinning on top. No - what has been suggested is that he has set his sights on No 10 itself!

The article by Morris went on:

Mr Johnson, who is favourite to succeed Mr Cameron despite not being an MP, remained opaque about his future ambitions. He said it was "nonsense" that he would seek a parliamentary seat while still Mayor. But asked if he could try to return to the Commons afterwards, he said: "I honestly don't know the answer to that question."

The impact the Games has had on Mr Johnson's public profile was underlined yesterday by an Ipsos MORI opinion poll which found that 61 per cent of people had a more positive view of him that they did before London 2012. He scored significantly more highly than Mr Cameron, who scored 43 per cent.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/stop-pussyfooting-and-build-london-a-new-airport-boris-johnson-tells-david-cameron-8050594.html

And now for the 'pussy riot'! The Russian punk feminist band is in trouble! After their trial, the sentence was announced - two years in a penal colony! Shades of 'A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovitch' or what? It seems, however, that the Russian Orthodox church are now requesting clemency. Whatever that means, in such a context!

According to Miriam Elder in the Observer:

Pussy Riot trial gives Russia 'the image of a medieval dictatorship': Even some of Putin's supporters are aghast at the penal term handed out to the feminist punks. Amid a global storm of protest, signs have emerged that they might be released early – but a deep national rift remains

The article stated:

A Moscow judge rejected the defence's argument that the band's performance of an anti-Vladimir Putin "punk prayer" was a form of political protest and found that it was motivated by hatred for Russian Orthodoxy.

Amnesty International called the verdict a "travesty". "[It] shows that the Russian authorities will stop at no end to suppress dissent and stifle civil society," Michelle Ringuette, of Amnesty, said in a statement.

"Each step in the case has been an affront to human rights," she said, calling the verdict "a bitter blow to freedom in Russia".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/18/pussy-riot-russia-global-protest?newsfeed=true

So pussys - (or should that be pussies - sticking to rules of plurality!) are very much in the news. Be they 'footing' or 'rioting', the cats certainly know how to get a bit of publicity.

As for this cat - I'm off to collect some sardine heads for poor old Arturo who is in a state of agitation over the whole 'pussy' business!

'Bye'