7 families an hour 'turned around' @ No 10

"So many ideas - so little time to implement them!" That's what one of the fresh-faced Interns was muttering under his breath today. So many ideas! That's a joke, I said to myself. Every time Boy David catches a whiff of an idea - he gets so excited, he can hardly restrain himself from shouting "Whoopee! I've got an idea." This is regardless, you understand, of whether it was actually his idea - or someone else had suggested it!

Then - usually after a day or two, he is told by someone that the idea is rubbish and that it will lose votes. So, promptly and without a peradventure, Boy David says: "That idea has been scrapped - it was a rotten idea and I can't think who suggested it to me."

Hence, my friends the philosophy and actuality of the famous Cameron U-Turn!

Now, these last few days have been frenetic. Ideas have been coming and going and coming again! This has been a desperate attempt to capture the high ground - to appear to hold leadership in the palm of the hand. To be fair - they are all at it! IDS, Gove, Georgy, Wailing Lad Clegg, the Weasel man, Flash-Foot May and Miliband - Ed that is not David. So it's not just the ConDems but also Labour. Even mop-Head Boris is at it!

Arturo, my pal from No 11, limped in to No 10 to see me. He looked exhausted.
"Hey, my old Buddy, have you heard the latest from your Boss man? He's going to do great things, so I heard."

I hadn't heard. So I scampered round to listen to the latest from the Intern's gossip. And did I hear something - or did I hear something! It seems a corker of an idea has come from the mouth of Boy David himself. He has announced:

The broken society is back at the top of my political agenda.

I have an ambition, before the end of this parliament, we will turn around the lives of 120,000 most troubled families.

We need more urgent action, too, on the families that some people call ‘problem’, others call ‘troubled’. The ones that everyone in their neighbourhood knows and often avoids.

But that was not all he said - oh no! He promised to put rocket boosters into a programme run by A4e, to tackle anti-social families.

Now - as you know, as a mere cat - I am no mathematician - but the idea of dealing with 120,000 families before the end of this Parliament set my head spinning! Now, let's just suppose that there are 4 more years of the Coalition's 'first' term left to run. By very simple maths, that even I can manage 120,000 divided by 4 gives us 30,000. So that means each year, of the next four, 30,000 families will be 'turned around'.

Wow! I thought, 30,000 families turned around each year. That's quite some goal! It means that every week 577 families will be turned round.

By now the maths bug had got me. Gee, I just wish they'd done maths like this at school! Now, if Boy David is intent on these 120,000 families being turned around, I hope he has his skates on! Why? Because 577 families a week means - 82 families a day!

To take this one stage further - If 82 families a day are to be turned around in the 12 hours of a 'working' day then he must turn around 7 families per hour!

Of course, in the UK, most working people do have holidays and don't usually work 12 hours a day, nor do they work 7 days a week! After all - this isn't Germany! So, probably the 7 families an hour turn-around rate is very generous. It is more likely to be at least 10 families an hour. But let's be generous to Boy David - after all it is his 'Big Idea'.

All I can say is that I hope his associates have started this 'turn-around' lark from the word 'Go'. Because, my friends, if they didn't - then already he is 50 families short!!!

You know - in Trafalgar Square there is a clock counting down till the Olympic Games starts next year. I intend to start a clock countdown of 120,000 turned around families.

Do you think this is a good idea?

'Bye'