Grand Old Duke of York at No 10

Someone was humming, when I woke up from my morning nap.  I'd caught 2 mice last night and felt well pleased!  Anyway - the humming went on for sometime.  It was really irritating.  Then I heard the hummer begin singing softly to himself: 'Oh, the grand old Duke of York, he had ten thousand men.  He marched them up to the top of the hill.  Then, he marched them down again.  And when they were up, they were up and when they were down, they were down.  And when they were only halfway up, they were neither up nor down!'

The singer stopped and gave a rather sinister giggle. Then, I heard someone else saying:  'You're not so bloody clever either, mate!  Your Boss announced Gadaffi was in Venezuela!'

The singer went red in the face, 'But at least he didn't keep doing bloody great U-turns every few moments.  First - we're going in to Libya - with force if necessary.  Then, we're not!  Next, we're going to enforce a no-fly zone.  Then, we're not!  We were sending in planes to rescue our Brits immediately - but we took days to do it.'

'The trouble with your department and mine is that we've got a couple of idiots running them.'

'Mine's only running foreign policy; yours is running the UK, God help us!'

I heard the kitchen door open, then I smelt roast chicken!  A piece of chicken was worth a ton of gossip from civil servants, so I hopped it!