The End is Nigh - for the Coalition @ No 10

"Talk about the world ending on December 21!" Arturo snorted. "I think old Pickles is trying to kill off the Coalition even if the world doesn't end!"

Simon Hoggart writing in The Guardian quoted 'Bagpuss' Pickles' speech at this year's Conservative Party Conference. Hoggart wrote:

 Eric Pickles on the Lib Dems: "It still seems strange to be working with our yellow chums in government. I sit next to Vince Cable in cabinet. In private, he's not as cheerful as he seems on the telly."

Hoggart wrote this under the headline:

Political awards: omnishambles, reality shows and the man they couldn't sack

The article is well worth reading. It highlights the levels of puerility that the political leaders can stoop to, in order to attract attention.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/dec/20/political-awards-omnishambles

But 'Bagpuss' Pickles does not need to make his snide comments about his 'yellow' friends. Their leader, 'Wailing Lad' Clegg, is doing his own bit to destroy the credibility of the LibDems and the Coalition all on his own! At one time, Clegg walked the leafy glade of the Downing Street rose garden with a look of real affection for his colleague and pal, 'Boy David' Cameron. In fact, the two were almost clones of each other and of the average menswear shop dummy that they so resemble. They walked alike, they nodded alike - even their policies seemed alike.

Then - slowly but surely 'Wailing Lad' Clegg realised he was no clone of Cameron but a mere useful tool to keep the Tories in power. More importantly - to keep Cameron as Prime Minister. The role of 'Deputy Prime Minister' became as meaningless for Clegg as it had been for Prescott. The difference being that Prescott just sat back and enjoyed it.

Then - the thunderbolt hit our 'Wailing Lad' right in the middle of his face. The journalists, Christopher Hope and Andrew Hough wrote in The Telegraph under the headline:

Liberal Democrats by-election result is 'worst ever by a major political party': The Liberal Democrats’ showing in the Rotherham by-election is the worst performance ever by a major political party, experts say, while support for the UK Independence Party (Ukip) dramatically increased.

They proceeded to demonstrate the sorry state of affairs for the LibDems.

They wrote:

Support for Nick Clegg’s party at the by-election slumped to eighth behind behind the BNP, Respect and the English Democrats...

... Rob Hayward, a by-elections’ expert, told The Daily Telegraph the Lib Dems’ showing in Rotherham was the worst “in any by election on record”.

The article ended:

Aides to Mr Clegg – who did not visit any of the battle grounds before polling day - shrugged off the bad result, insisting that the Lib Dems were suffering more because they were in Government and lacked the resources to fight the by-election properly.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9714210/Liberal-Democrats-by-election-result-is-worst-ever-by-a-major-political-party.html

Oh dearie me! What a way to end the year! So you see that's why 'Wailing Lad' Clegg has been thinking on the hoof, as they say! And boy! Has he been thinking on the hoof!

Rajeev Syal in The Guardian wrote the headline:

Nick Clegg risks Lib Dem-Tory coalition by spelling out differences: Leader's former key adviser reveals new strategy after shock set of polls show Lib Dems trailing Ukip as third biggest party

Syall continued:

Nick Clegg is to adopt a high-risk strategy of highlighting Liberal Democrat policy differences with their Conservative partners before government announcements have been made, according to the deputy prime minister's former adviser

Syal wrote:

... Clegg aims to differentiate his party from the Tories and Labour in a keynote speech delivered on the eve of his fifth anniversary as Lib Dem leader.

Clegg will mount a defence of the government's welfare reforms but also claim that interventions by his ministers stopped the Conservatives from introducing a further £6.2bn of cuts in welfare spending this autumn.

The new strategy follows an Opinion poll for the Observer on Sunday showing the Lib Dems are now trailing fourth behind the UK Independence party. The poll found Ukip is attracting 14% support, with the Lib Dems on just 8%.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/dec/17/nick-clegg-lib-dem-tory-coalition

Needs must in desperate times, I suppose! But where oh where have Clegg's fond looks for pal Cameron gone?

On December 17, 'Wailing Lad' Clegg was celebrating - no not celebrating but marking - the fifth anniversary of becoming leader of the LibDems! The fresh faced, confident look now replaced by the ashen, miserable visage that sits alongside the PM in Parliament.

So - what did Clegg say? The BBC News site reported his speech as follows:

The deputy prime minister blamed the "tribal" nature of both the Conservative and Labour parties for what he sees as their inability to remain on the centre ground of British politics.

"There are some on the right who believe that no-one could possibly be out of work unless they're a scrounger," he argued.

"If you can't find a job you must be lazy. If you say you're too sick to work you're probably pretending.

"The siren voices of the Tory right who peddle this myth could have pulled a majority Conservative government in the direction of draconian welfare cuts."

By contrast, he said, the Lib Dems were "a centre-ground party" delivering "centre-ground reforms".

On the same BBC News site there was a quote from Harriet Harman, deputy deader of the Labour Party:

As ever, with the Lib Dems, they say one thing whilst doing another - resulting in a record of economic failure, trebled tuition fees, nurses cut, police axed and millions paying more while millionaires get a tax cut”

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20754022

"And it all began so well!" Arturo mused. "Do you know, I think everyone who enters the front door of Downing Street with a smile on their face leaves it with a grimace. You mark my words, mi old pal, this Coalition will go the same way as the other governments - it'll all end in tears!"

I can't swear to it - but I think I saw a fleeting grin cross Arturo's whiskers as he said this! I'm taking him for a scrounge round the No 10 kitchen tonight!

Bye

Humpty Dumpty Rules OK ! @ No 10

"Oh dear, another faux-pas!" Arturo declared. "'Boy David' Cameron and his pal, Georgy Osborne, seem incapable of getting their facts right. So does 'Baby Face' Gove! Were they listening in school when they were told that 2+2=4 and not 5? They extended Humpty Dumpty's principle in 'Through the Looking-Glass':

"When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

"The issue with Cameron and his pals," Arturo said, "is that as well as 'words', they have applied the principle to 'numbers'. They pick a number and use it to represent just what they choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

Arturo had been looking at the BBC News web page that headlined an item:

Ministers rebuked on NHS spending claim : A watchdog has called on ministers to correct claims the coalition has increased NHS spending in England.

The UK Statistics Authority upheld a complaint by Labour about government claims the NHS budget had increased in real-terms in the past two years.

The watchdog found the best-available Treasury data suggested real-terms health spending was lower in 2011-12 than in 2009-10.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-20600852

Oh dear! So the Government assertion that there had been an increase in spending on the NHS was wrong. Fancy that! If this Humpty Dumpty use of figures had been the only one from the Coalition, then Arturo would not have got so worked up! But just last month, further shenanigans had been played out! On November 8, George Eaton in the New Statesman wrote an article under the headline:

How Michael Gove manipulated education statistics : The Education Secretary's misleading claim that the UK has plummeted down the international league tables.

Whoops! Steady there, 'Baby Face' Gove! Surely, you would never manipulate statistics!!

George Eaton wrote:

One of Michael Gove's favourite arguments for his school reforms is that Britain has plummeted down the international education league tables. In June 2011 he told Policy Exchange that the UK had fallen from "4th to 16th place in science; from 7th to 25th place in literacy; and from 8th to 28th in maths" between 2000 and 2009 in the OECD's Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA).

Not something to boast about, is it? So why do it? Eaton went on:

Last month, in response to a letter from David Miliband, Andrew Dilnot, the chair of the UK Statistics Authority, expressed "concern" about the Department for Education's unqualified use of the figures. He noted that the OECD's 2009 report for the UK included the following "important caveat":

Trend comparisons, which are a feature of the PISA 2009 reporting are not reported here because for the United Kingdom it is only possible to compare 2006 and 2009 data. As the PISA 2000 and PISA 2003 samples did not meet the PISA response-rate standards, no trend comparisons are possible for these years.

He concluded: "These uncertainties and weaknesses are not just a technical footnote; they are themselves an important part of the evidence, and affect interpretation and meaning. League tables and the presentation of international rankings can be statistically problematic, and require clear and careful commentary alongside them."

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2012/11/how-michael-gove-manipulated-education-statistics

Now - I wonder if Gove studied those 6 crucial little words! Statistics require a 'clear and careful commentary alongside them'. Maybe, 'Baby Face' Gove should have warned fellow ministers about this recommended method of presenting statistics!

Remember, 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps? It seems he's not been averse to using statistics to advantage, he's well acquainted with the Humpty Dumpty principle! In June 2012, BBC News headlined an item:

Labour criticises housing figures used by Grant Shapps

In fact, Jack Droomey, the Shadow Housing Minister, stated that there were six areas in Shapp's statistical presentation with which he took issue.

Surely not! That pretty lad, 'Apple Schnapps' Shapps, he would never do such a thing!! Well - this is what happened, BBC News reported:

In January this year, the then UK Statistics Authority chairman, Sir Michael Scholar, replied to a similar letter from Labour MP Nick Raynsford. Sir Michael replied: "Looking at statistics on housing, house building and house prices more generally, the Statistics Authority has been concerned for some time that there is a lack of coherence and clarity in their public presentation."

He added: "I recently wrote to the minister for housing proposing that the Statistics Authority should be invited to carry out a formal assessment of the statistics produced by the Homes and Communities Agency and the Tenant Services Authority."

The invitation was not taken up by the Department for Communities and Local Government.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-18388054

Arturo emerged from the kitchen with an icepack on his head! I couldn't believe my eyes! When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he replied:

"I'm studying Georgy Osborne's figures from the Autumn Statement. It seems, according to a well placed authority, that the majority of his figures are within the bounds of what statisticians call the 'margin of error'. So, it's dodgy, to say the least, to make claims on any such figures! But, that's just what he's done!"

I left Arturo with his abacus! In his own inimitable way, he's happy. Me? I'm off to sniff around the kitchen at No 11 - it was caviar time, so I heard! Talk about posh!!

'Bye'