Big Brother rules - not OK @ No 10

Arturo and I thanked our lucky stars we did not have to go to a hospital for treatment for Arturo's bad neck. We felt we had been doubly blessed. Firstly, we knew a decent vet who looked kindly on Arturo. Secondly, we were not subjected to the appalling torture that is being inflicted on patients going into hospital.

Torture! Do I hear you exclaim? What torture? Let me explain.

Most hospitals have so-called 'patient entertainment systems'. These include phone, email and television. Often they cost an arm and a leg - hopefully not literally. However, knowing the present state of morale in certain hospitals, it may be more literal than one cares to imagine! Actually, they cost about £5 per day.

These patient entertainment systems have an extra bonus - a welcoming video of 'Old Silver Fox' Lansley. Welcoming? Yes, welcoming!

How do I know all this? I heard an item on BBC Radio 4 on the Today programme. Lansley thought it all highly amusing that some people had expressed alarm at seeing his face at every bedside in a ward.

There was also an article in the Daily Telegraph by Andy Bloxham entitled,
Coming to an NHS hospital screen near you: 'Lansley TV'
Hospital patients recuperating in bed are being put through a further trial – the face of Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary, on a loop on the in-house televisions.

Andy Bloxham writes:

Until individuals register, the television plays the message, which repeats every three or four minutes and comes complete with subtitles.

Mr Lansley’s message starts: “Hello, I’m Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary. I just want to take a few moments to say that your care while you’re here in hospital really matters to me.”

Can you imagine the horror of it all? It loops until you register. Supposing you feel too unwell to register. Imagine you have broken your arms and cannot register. What if you have lost your memory and cannot remember your 'details'! In any of these situations, you are condemned to watch Lansley's grinning face mouthing platitudes! It's enough to make you feel like vomiting!

Andy Bloxham writes that Lansley commented

"They only have to see me once... so I would encourage them to see me once," he told BBC Radio 4's Today programme. :

As Arturo said, "Once is once too much! And if you're ill and captive - it's licensed torture!"

In the Daily Telegraph article, Lansley is quoted as saying:

When people go into hospital, I hope one of the first things they realise is we want them to have as comfortable and as high quality a stay as possible.

I want them to help join me in thanking the NHS staff and I particularly wanted to say if they had any feedback that would be really helpful.

I wonder if the idea will catch on. Will we soon see short televisual presentations from:
* 'Baby Face' Gove, before morning assembly in state schools, telling the kids to "pass the exams"?
* 'Georgy' Osborne staring from every cash point, exhorting: "Spend, damn you, spend."
* 'Boy David' Cameron appearing on billboards on every street corner ordering us to "Volunteer - or be sorry, very sorry."

The list could go on and on. Just imagine what 'Apple Schnapps' Shaps and 'Disgusting' Clark could order us to do. Lansley may well have started a trend, Heaven help us!

Of course, 'Old Silver Fox' Lansley might find himself reclining on a hospital bed, in the near future. Will he be subjected to the horror of watching his own grinning visage encouraging him to give some 'feedback'? Or will he take himself off to the newly privatised Hinchingbroke Hospital to the tender care of Circle?

Arturo was feeling better this afternoon. We went for a stroll in the park and saw the back of a giant billboard. We did not go passed it - just in case ...

'Bye' from us both.