Georgy Osborne on 'work experience' ... @ No 10

"There'll be tears before Autumn." Arturo said sagely.

"Whose tears?" Foolishly, I asked.

"Whose, do you think? That Great Booby of a Chancellor, George Osborne!"

Arturo nodded towards a computer monitor. I read:

George Osborne is a "work experience" Chancellor and should be replaced

http://audioboo.fm/boos/897428-george-osborne-is-a-work-experience-chancellor-and-should-be-replaced

I listened to the interview on BBC Radio 4 given by Lord Oakeshott to Martha Kearney on The World at One. I wondered whether Georgy Osborne had heard it too! No wonder the walls adjacent to No 11 were shaking! Georgy must have been banging his head!

The message - the gist of which was

GEORGE MUST GO! AND QUICKLY!

was repeated on the BBC's own website under the heading:

Osborne a work experience chancellor, says Cable ally.

The article went on to state:

Lord Oakeshott told BBC Radio 4's World at One that his fellow Liberal Democrat Mr Cable should be put in charge at the Treasury.

He said: "George Osborne has got no business experience.

"He has never worked outside politics. He is doing surprisingly well for a chancellor on work experience.

"But really in a torrid time like this I think we do need absolutely the best people available."

Lord Oakeshott told the BBC News Channel that the Treasury was displaying "inertia combined with arrogance".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-18987491

Somehow, I don't think Georgy will be delighted by the faint praise offered by the comment that he was 'doing surprisingly well for a chancellor on work experience'. Would you be?

Worse news for Georgy came from 'The Daily Telegraph'. In an online poll, the following question was posed

Should George Osborne lose his job?

What do you think? Loyal Tory readers would surely back the best pal of their leader, 'Boy David' Cameron. You would think so, wouldn't you? But remember this, Tories are quite ruthless when it comes to power. The average Tory Party member has just one slogan close to his/her heart. It is

'POWER AT ANY PRICE'

Any price really does mean 'ANY'!

So - was there to be a speck of hope for our Georgy? Well, judge for yourselves. At 7 pm on July 25 2012 - the result of the poll so far stood at:

Yes, the economy is in a parlous condition. It is time for a fresh pair of hands. (2,638 votes)73.03%

No, he has kept Britain out the European debt storm. It would be foolish to change horse mid-race. (974 votes) 26.97%

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/georgeosborne/9426424/George-Osborne-is-a-work-experience-Chancellor-who-should-be-moved-in-reshuffle-says-senior-Lib-Dem.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Yet another section of 'The Telegraph' had more bad news for Georgy Osborne. Beneath a painful image, James Kirkup wrote an article on his blog:

The GDP figures are a brutal size-12 boot in the groin for George Osborne

He stated:

This is bad news, plain and simple, and the buck stops with Mr Osborne. How will he respond? The choice facing him is stark. He can stick to the current path, while seeking more ways to “max out Plan A” with new and ever more complex schemes to encourage private sector investment without actually spending any more public money. Or he can slow the deficit reduction plan and borrow a little more, probably for public investment and using the argument that it makes sense to take the opportunity of ultra-low gilt yields.

James Kirkup went on to write:

Earlier this year, such a fundamental shift in the Coalition’s economic and political strategy would have been unthinkable. But these days? It’s surely still colossally unlikely. But I’d be very surprised if somewhere in the darkest, most secret corners of the Treasury, there isn’t a little bit of work going on to examine the options for what would inevitably be called Plan B.

Raise or fold? Charge on into the guns or change course? It’s a big choice, probably the biggest this Government will make and the biggest of George Osborne’s career. The Chancellor, a fan of American history, will no doubt be familiar with the thoughts of Abraham Lincoln here: “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.”

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jameskirkup/100172524/the-gdp-figures-are-a-brutal-size-12-boot-in-the-groin-for-george-osborne/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Uh Huh! 'brutal boot size 12 in the groin' - seems more like Georgy is sitting on the 'horns of a dilemma' and they're pretty sharp horns, at that!

Arturo and I hoped for a bit of peace and quiet whilst our lords and masters are living it up in the sunshine. Somehow, I don't think Arturo will be having a cosy time in No 11! What with the head-banging and the slogan-bashing, it's going to be a hairy time for one and all!

That's why I'm treating Arturo to a kitchen supper, here at No 10. Must keep his pecker up.

'Bye'

'Pussy-Toes' May trips up @ No 10

"Seen our lady in the leopard-skin boots recently?" Arturo asked.

"Only on the tele! And I couldn't see her feet!" I replied.

But we both knew the lady in question, 'Pussy-Toes' Theresa May had tripped up badly twice this week! She had also tripped up earlier in the year, as well. One trip-up is an accident! Two trip-ups are a misfortune. But three ....! Now that's what we call a policy!

**Trip up Number One: In February, The Mirror had the headline:

Border Agency to be broken up as Theresa May tries to dodge the blame for immigration checks fiasco

The article written by James Lyons went on:

Bungling Theresa May tried to wriggle out of a security fiasco today by breaking up the UK Border Agency.

In an attempt to dodge blame for letting hundreds of thousands of people into Britain without proper checks, the Home Secretary said the UK Border Force would become a separate law enforcement body.

Her desperate move came after UKBA chief Brodie Clarke was forced to resign last year over the shambles.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/border-agency-to-be-broken-up-as-theresa-692113

Pussy-Toes May rode out the storm and survived! A feat of no small means considering the furore about border control.

**Trip up Number Two: The cock-up over Olympic security and G4S. It seems, according to the Daily Mail, that 'Pussy-Toes' May, otherwise known as the Home Secretary knew some time before she announced the matter to the Commons that 'Some thing was up!'. Matt Blake and Chris Parsons wrote

Theresa May warned G4S wouldn't have enough security guards for Games two weeks before she initially claimed

As a result of the shortfall, thousands of UK troops have been dragooned into doing the job in place of G4S. Of course, if 'Pussy-Toes' May had been nicer to our police, there might have been enough of them to do the job without G4S. Blake and Parsons quoted Ed Miliband

'People want bobbies on the beat, not G4S,' said Mr Miliband. 'We need to be much clearer about what private companies should and should not do.'

The comments came as Mr Miliband launched Labour’s campaign for Police and Crime Commissioner (PCC) elections in central London.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2176100/Theresa-May-warned-G4S-wouldnt-security-guards-Games-weeks-initially-claimed.html#ixzz216Gxyph3

As a banner at the Police Federation meeting in May stated

Cutting Police by 20% is criminal

**Trip up Number Three: Today Sky News reported that the Public and Commercial Services union(PCS) were to take action against 'Pussy-Toes' May's proposed cuts to the jobs of many of their members

Airport immigration staff have decided to stage a 24-hour strike the day before the opening of the Olympic Games.

UK Border Agency workers are among thousands of Home Office employees who will walk out on July 26 in a row over jobs, pay and privatisation.

The Public and Commercial Services union (PCS) is also warning that its members will take other forms of industrial action, such as a ban on overtime, from July 27 to August 20.

Sky News quoted the General Secretary of the union, Mark Serwotka, as saying:

"The lives of staff have been made intolerable by these cuts and they're at breaking point.

"Ministers have known about these issues for a very long time and need to act now to sort out the chaos they have caused.

"They're acting recklessly in cutting so many jobs and privatising services, and are provocatively refusing to talk to us with a genuine desire to reach an agreement."

http://news.sky.com/story/962468/olympics-home-office-staff-strike-on-july-26

'Pussy-Toes' May called the whole thing shameful, as did that other clown of the Coalition Cabinet, the Culture Secretary, Jeremy Hunt! But then, he would, wouldn't he? As an infamous lady once said.

Now, Arturo and I have done some research and we discovered that for quite a while, the PCS had been warning of their anxieties. In the Independent, under the headline:Thousands of Home Office staff including airport immigration workers to strike on eve of Olympics, journalist,Alan Jones, quoted Labour MP John McDonnell, who chairs the PCS Parliamentary Group, as saying

"The Government has brought this dispute on its own head. The UKBA and passport staff have been raising their concerns over job cuts and the impact on services for over 12 months now.

"The PCS Parliamentary Group only met the minister three weeks ago to warn him of the low morale caused by the Government's actions and the urgent need to stop compulsory redundancies."

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/thousands-of-home-office-staff-including-airport-immigration-workers-to-strike-on-eve-of-olympics-7959604.html

Watch this space! There are still several days to go before the Olympics opening ceremony! Arturo and I hope that maybe there's time enough - in this season of rapprochement à la Clegg-Cameron, n'est pas?

To steady our nerves, we're off for a bit of caterwauling!

'Bye'

Pssst! Meeting behind the rail shed... @ No 10

"Think they wanted a quick smoke?" Arturo asked.

"Who?"

"'Wailing Lad' Clegg and 'Boy David' Cameron, of course!" He pointed at a monitor screen at the picture of the two stooges beside a railway carriage.

It wasn't a 'quick smoke' they were after, no siree! It was an attempted rapprochement. That's right:

A rapprochement!

A reconciliation!

An 'improved understanding and friendship' between two buddies.

As my Welsh grandmother would have said: "Well! There's amazing then!"

It was more than amazing - it was, in fact quite true. The two stooges were behind the rail shed in Smethwick! Ostensibly, it was to announce a £9 billion pledge for rail renewal.

But it was a smokescreen, my friends. The real ploy was to show the boys standing together again side-by-side - never mind whether it was a rail shed or a sewage farm. What was important was the image of the two boys in harmony again. No more of the: I won't play ball with you, if you won't play ball with me. That was the passé tone of last week over Lords Reform and boundary changes. This week, it was

rapprochement

To use 'Boy David' Cameron's words, as quoted by Michael Deacon in The Telegraph:

“We’re here to help the headline writers,” began the Prime Minister, grinning stiffly and gesturing at the ranks of carriages to his right. “Sharing platforms… minding gaps… everything’s on track…” At this point, his supply of locomotive puns ran out of steam, hit the buffers and came off the rails. Clearly he needs a sub editor to train him.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9403090/David-Cameron-insists-he-and-Nick-Clegg-are-not-at-war.html

In another Telegraph article, Christopher Hope quoted Nick Clegg :

"You always get a bump in the road like we did last week in the Westminster village on Lords reform. None of that will stop us continuing to govern in the national interest for the whole country."

As my Welsh Nanna said:

There's amazing then!

Christopher Hope continued:

Asked by the Telegraph what the odds were of the Coalition surviving until the 2015 election, Mr Cameron said: "I am not a bookmaker, I am not a betting man, but I wouldn't bet against it."

Mr Clegg added: "I would bet a considerable amount of money on us staying together."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9403090/David-Cameron-insists-he-and-Nick-Clegg-are-not-at-war.html

Arturo grinned like the Cheshire Cat when he read those last comments! "What odds do you think the local bookies are giving? I fancy a bob or two on the Coalition collapsing before the year is out! Those two really haven't got a clue, have they?"

He's right, of course! 'Boy David' Cameron has the back-woodsmen of the Tory Right sharpening their knives in readiness for the kill! With blokes like that as 'partners', you're better off running for the hills rather than planning a rapprochement.

Arturo and me - we're off for a sardine head kitchen supper! Fancy joining us?

'Bye'

Ball crunching @ No 10

At Wimbledon, this week, balls have been flying! Andy Murray had tennis balls popping out of his shorts' pockets. They caused problems for him, leading to some in the media to call for the 'ball crunching' shorts worn in past years. Tennis aside, Balls has also been on Georgy Osborne's mind.

You may recall that the cries of 'where's George?' were answered by Arturo's declaration that Georgy was hiding under the bed to avoid the flack coming his way. His reappearance has demonstrated his preoccupation with 'Mesmer Eyes' Balls, the Shadow Chancellor. Balls spends much of his time on the Front Bench gesticulating at both Georgy Osborne and also at 'Boy David' Cameron.

Now, the libor scandal has brought Georgy Osborne's persistent fixation with Ed Balls to the forefront. In an interview with 'The Spectator': J'accuse: George Osborne on Labour and libor, Georgy Osborne made several comments about the behaviour of the Brown government. 'The Guardian' previewed the interview on Wednesday in an article by Hélène Mulholland. In this, she quotes from the Spectator

Osborne said in his interview that both the Financial Services Authority (FSA) and the US department of justice were "very clear" that the Bank of England did not issue instructions to Barclays to cut its Libor rate. "As for the role of the Labour government and the people around Gordon Brown, well, I think there are questions to be asked of them."

Singling out Balls, once a city minister but who served as children's secretary under Brown's premiership, he went on: "My opposite number, who was the City minister for part of this period and Gordon Brown's right-hand man for all of it … he has questions to answer as well. That's Ed Balls, by the way." Speaking of Brown's government, Osborne said: "They were clearly involved and we just haven't heard the full facts, I don't think, of who knew what when."

Rather dodgey, Georgy, old boy! 'they were clearly involved', what a thing to say! Where's the proof?

Mulholland continued

Balls hit back at what he said were false allegations being levelled against him.

He told BBC News: "What I can say to you categorically – because there's been some false allegations made about this overnight for political reasons as always – at no point did I have any conversation with Mr Tucker at all at any time when I was Treasury minister, a Treasury adviser, or subsequently to that when I was a cabinet minister.

"And I had no conversation with anybody about the Libor market during any of those periods and at no point in any of the time when I was a minister or an adviser were concerns raised about the Libor market to me from the FSA, the Bank, or the Treasury."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/jul/04/george-osborne-labour-libor-scandal

Georgy Osborne, however, has so little brain between his ears that he is still harping on about Balls and Brown instead of acting like a Chancellor and dealing with both the failing economy and the libor scandal. It's so much easier to make yah-boo comments than to do a proper job!

In fact, the idea has been growing that it's time for Georgy to be found a simpler job more in line with his 'little grey cells'. Matthew Norman wrote in 'The Independent' :How often does Vince Cable have to be right before they make him Chancellor? He wrote

Vince is having another fine week for his soothsaying reputation, but he must nonetheless be sick of playing Cassandra. This business of him issuing the SOS, first being ignored, then being vindicated, and lastly receiving next to no credit for being right in the first place would irk a less curmudgeonly chap than our (Victor) Meldrovian Business Secretary.

He warned about unsustainable cheap credit and the consequent risk of a crash, and no one paid a blind bit of notice. He pinpointed the structural weakness at Northern Rock and called for its nationalisation, but until it was almost too late a Labour government faffed about in virtual paralysis. For inadvertently declaring war against a Murdoch media stranglehold, he was ridiculed and fined a chunk of his portfolio. By then, he had already spoken about casino banking in general, and Bob Diamond's appointment as Barclay's CEO in particular, in terms that were rather less in vogue in polite political society than than they are today.

Don't recall either Chancellor Georgy Osborne or PM Cameron taking these insightful comments very seriously! In addition, when their determination to right the wrongs of the feckless banking industry was put to the test - they were found wanting. The Vickers Report made several rather weak recommendations about the issue - however - they were too strong for Georgy Osborne's stomach! As Matthew Norman wrote

In another speech, he (Cable)said: "We are worried about this combination of the casinos and the traditional banking. Mr Diamond illustrates in a particularly graphic way what happens when you have an extremely highly paid head of an investment bank taking over one of these major international banks."

His boss didn't listen, but why would he? With his vast experience of the real world and his staggering intellect, George Osborne needs no advice. What with knowing it all, his instinct was to dissipate the banking reforms proposed by John Vickers, and apparently still is. Just a few days ago, Norman Lamont, among others, urged him to quarantine investment banking from high street operations as Vickers suggests.

Whether or not another cute little U-turn is imminent, one pressing question today is why Obsborne is Cable's boss at all. Transparently, Vince should be Chancellor, and George... well, something less important.

http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/matthew-norman/matthew-norman-how-often-does-vince-cable-have-to-be-right-before-they-make-him-chancellor-7906760.html

So there we have it! Georgy should do something less important! More fitting one hopes to his age. experience and intelligence! Oh, by the way! Since Osborne and Cameron are cut from the same piece of cloth - maybe 'Boy David' should take the hint too!

Now Arturo and I are going to find a couple of balls to play with! Anyone for tennis?

'Bye'

Where's George! ... Not @ No 10

No sign of Georgy Osborne! No hide! No hair! Not on BBC Radio 4! Not on Sky News! Not in the papers! Has he shrunk like 'Honey I just shrunk the kids?'. Maybe, he just vanished into thin air after the Chloe Smith debacle!

Georgy Osborne has always, in the past, made sure he had a very visible profile. Announcements galore would pour from his mouth, followed by the familiar self-satisfied smirk. But, alas and alack - Georgy has not been seen of late.

Why should I be so concerned? It's not as if, when he could be found, the very sight of Georgy Osborne's tousled locks inspired anyone with unshakeable confidence, is it? However, it is troubling that the Chancellor of the Exchequer chooses to go walkabout after yet another amazing u-turn performed on his budget decisions. One has to ask if he's feeling alright! After all, too many u-turns put even the most stable in a spin - know what I mean!

I decided to search for the missing Georgy online. It seems the world too is searching for him. I discovered that there is a dedicated website:

http://www.wheresgeorge.com/>

This is THE site for the

United States Currency Tracking Project

It got me kinda worried! Georgy Osborne is the UK Chancellor - he should be tracking our currency. We should not be tracking him!!!!

But Georgy is missing - nowhere to be seen! He's more difficult to find than 'Wally' in a crowd. So while George is incommunicado, what's happening to the UK currency? Does Georgy know exactly how much there is and is that why he's missing - too 'frit' to tell us that the bankers have made off with all of it!

Maybe, like Baroness Orczy's Scarlet Pimpernel, George Osborne is hoping to save the day. At this very moment, he might be collecting dollars after tracing them on the Where's George site. At the same time, Georgy's captain, 'Boy David' Cameron is scheming resurgence by designing a referendum on membership of the EU! Ah! Ha! The fearless twosome may well, after all, have a cunning plot! Do we have here the living version of Batman and his faithful sidekick, Robin?

Sadly, Cameron and Osborne are no super heroes! They are just a couple of erstwhile PR men turned politicians. And that, my friends, is why we are all yelling:

WHERE'S GEORGE?

Do you want to know where George really is? If you sit quietly, I'll tell you! Arturo, my pal the cat from No 11, told me he had found George! But, remember - it's a secret! George is hiding under his bed, shamefaced at letting a schoolgirl look-a-like, Chloe Smith, stand in for him to face the piercing questions fired at her by Paxman on Newsnight.

In fact, as 'The Thick of It' would have it, 'Disappearing' George Osborne is redolent of the 'omnishambes' that is the Coalition!

Arturo and I are going to register on

http://www.wheresgeorge.com/

We hope to find out whether loadsa £s have turned up in the USA. After all, those traders in the City must have put their bonus money somewhere!

'Bye'