Surely not Big Brother @ No 10

"This party conference season gets on my tits!" Arturo stated firmly. "They're all acting like salesmen selling themselves as brands!"

He is right, you know. Last week we had the unedifying figure of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg being prepared to say or do anything to gain love and affection. All rather pathetic really. At the end of the week, everyone hated him just the same. Humiliation and grovelling are not in Clegg's known vocabulary.

This week, it's Labour's opportunity to try to shine. Will they succeed any better? Who knows! However, they do have one thing going for them - a large juicy lead in the opinion polls. Now that is something not to be sniffed at!

Ed 'Gromit-lookalike' Miliband has started well by telling everyone that he knows how to handle the banks and those 'swine' bankers! Great news! But saying he will and actually doing it are not one and the same thing. Still, Arturo and I were cheered by this.

All that Ed 'Gromit-lookalike' Miliband needs to do now is to agree with the letter writers in the Guardian who wrote:

We urge delegates and conference organisers to help ensure the essential content of the resolutions is discussed, voted on and passed, and all parts of the Labour party to join with health workers' unions and health campaigners to defend the NHS against the Tories' assault.

www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/28/labour-policy-waiting-game>

Of course, the real expert salesmen are the Tories. Most have not been used car salesman or double-glazing reps - their daddies probably owned the companies. But 'Boy David' Cameron, 'Georgy' Osborne et al still have to sell themselves! Cameron has even tried to 'sell' himself to the Americans and Brazilians. Janet Daley of the Telegraph was not impressed:

There was a headline on one of the television news channel websites last week which read (this is an exact quote): “PM David Cameron addressed the UN on the need to support the Arab Spring, before appearing on the Letterman show”. Does anybody else see the incongruity here? What if it had said, “Prime Minister offers plan for world peace before doing limbo dance with banana balanced on his nose”? We have now apparently reached the point where a major national leader’s stint on a comedy programme has pretty much the same political news value as an intervention in the most dangerous global conflict of our time.

This came under the headline : 'Likeability’ is the bane of modern politics: Clowning around on a chat show, or even being a devoted Dad, may count for less than having a serious grasp of economic reality.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9575605/Likeability-is-thebane-of-modern-politics.html

Janet Daley's comments are sad but true. What must Cameron, Clegg and Miliband do to ensure they lead their parties into the next Election? Easy! Get picked for Big Brother!!! Shush! Quietly now! They mustn't let 'Mop Head' Johnson hear that! He already thinks he's on Big Brother everyday - and we all know how popular he is!

Arturo and I are dining in tonight - we're rodent hunting.

'Bye'

Clegg's Machinations @ No 10

"Pity we're not in Brighton." Arturo said. "Even all this rain wouldn't deter me from trotting down the jolly old prom to hear the latest examples of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg's machinations!"

And it is raining! It's pouring! The sky is black, the air is chill! The birds are shivering in the rose-garden! But Arturo is wrong about one thing. We don't have to be in Brighton in person. We can watch the horrors as they unfold on the tele! And horrors they sure are!

Our 'Wailing Lad' has wailed his apology to the students before our very eyes! Mark you, he had a good speech trainer! His words were almost - almost - the right ones - but not quite. His words were somehow 'hollow'. They smacked of the tones of a desperate man seeking to hold on to his position as Leader of the Liberal Democrats!

It seems that the whispering about a possible challenger for his role as head of the beleaguered party persuaded him to utter the words that must have stuck in his teeth: 'I'm sorry!'

Patrick Wintour writing in the Guardian under the headline 'Nick Clegg's much-mocked mea culpa shows he plans to remain as leader' stated:

Clegg is not apologising for breaking the pledge, but for making it in the first place. He also insisted, possibly unwisely, that the pledge "was made with the best of intentions".

The difficulty here is that the pledge given to the National Union of Students not to vote for any increase in tuition fees in the coming parliament was in truth a pretty grubby act designed to garner some student votes. Many senior party figures opposed it as such at the time.

So - 'Wailing Lad' is again running true to form. The 'pretty grubby act designed to garner some student votes' is not so dissimilar from the 'grubby' reasons for apologising now! He wants to stay in power!

Wintour continued:

Lofty words were spoken by Clegg at the manifesto launch on how every pledge, including the one to phase out tuition fees over six years, had been costed.

He said: "There is one other major innovation in this manifesto. We have scrutinised public spending line by line, and found the savings we need to pay for all of our priorities as Vince [Cable] explained …

"I believe this is the first time a political party has spelled out its figures, line by line, right there in its manifesto. Turn to page 100. The figures are there for everyone to see. We know how every policy will be paid for. These are promises you can trust …"

But on the BBC's Newsnight on Wednesday Cable said he had always been personally sceptical about the affordability of the pledge, adding that "it was an unwise commitment to have made".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/20/nick-clegg-plans-to-remain-leader?intcmp=239

Of course, this does not reflect well on 'Invincible' Vince Cable and other senior LibDems either. If they knew the figures didn't add up - why on earth let the so-called 'pledge' go through? But then, this is politics! As Arturo said to me this morning: "You don't expect the Devil to take off his horns! Why expect a politician to act other than perfidiously?"

Very cynical but true!

Arturo and I are going to keep our paws dry! We'll be watching TV and munching anchovies!

'Bye'

NHS gets the kiss-of-death @ No 10

"Would you get a viper to look after your baby?" Arturo asked. Before I could respond, he said: "No, you certainly would not! Yet, this 'Boy David' Cameron has put the NHS into the hands of Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt! Cameron is either stupid or devious!"

Arturo was so disturbed that he hissed and spat at the monitor in front of him: "Just take a look at the blog, The Green Benches, written by Dr Éoin Clarke. That says it all! He's done some digging around and discovered things about Hunt that would make any future patient of the NHS shiver."

Naturally I scurried to the nearest laptop and looked up the blog. I found a post headed:Jeremy Hunt co-authored a book in 2009 calling for the NHS to be dismantled & no longer relevant. The very title is alarming. If accurate, then 'Boy David' has given the kiss-of-death to the NHS. The blog states:

Hunt's derision for our NHS is also evident in a book he co-authored in 2009. In that book, Jeremy Hunt called for the NHS to be dismantled. Hunt is also reported to have argued that the NHS was "no longer relevant". His co-author in the same publication entitled Direct Democracy was Daniel Hannan who sparked outrage when he called the NHS, "A 60 year mistake" .

http://eoin-clarke.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/jeremy-hunt-co-authored-book-in-2009.html

It seems as early as 2009 that Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt's negative view of the NHS was well known. The Mirror ran the following headline: 3 top Tories call for NHS to be dismantled. The article stated:

David Cameron's claim to back the NHS was shot down again yesterday as more Tories attacked our healthcare system.

Three of his Shadow Cabinet - Michael Gove, Greg Clark and Jeremy Hunt - called for the health service to be dismantled. They claimed it was "no longer relevant" in a book, Direct Democracy, co-authored with Tory MEP Daniel Hannan.

Mr Hannan sparked outrage last week by calling the NHS a "60year-old mistake" on US TV.

And Health Secretary Andy Burnham last night challenged the Tory leader to withdraw the whip from the MEP and remove anyone from his frontbench who opposed the NHS.

Tory MP Douglas Carswell, co-author of another book with Mr Hannan called The Plan, said he stood by his words, branding the NHS the "National Sickness Service".

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/3-top-tories-call-for-nhs-413096

What I find hard to square is the fact that 'Boy David' Cameron harped on and on, before the election, just how much he valued the NHS! Some Valuing! Value? - I don't think so! If he valued it so much, he would have curbed that twit Lansley from doing his best to wreck the system. Now, Cameron has compounded it by appointing a declared NHS-phobic to be Secretary of State for Health! To coin a Pickles' expression - 'Boy David' Cameron is living in 'la la land'!

On 6 September, Brian Reade wrote in the Mirror: A dumb, on-message patsy: Why Jeremy Hunt's health job is such a sick joke. The article stated:

Our most ­precious institution, which could be charged with saving your life tomorrow, is wrestling with the most complex pressures in its history, and the PM wants it to be run by a man who lacks brains, guts or gravitas and is on record as wanting the NHS dismantled.

Can this get any worse? Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt 'lacks brains, guts or gravitas'. And this is the man who has been made Secretary of State for Health!

Briane Reade continued:

A few weeks back I told of a writer friend who, after several meetings with Hunt, described him thus: “He is, without doubt, the thickest man in a suit that I’ve ever had a conversation with.

"There is ­nothing ­going on behind the eyes. It’s like trying to get through to a mollusc in a coma.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/why-jeremy-hunt-as-health-secretary-is-such-a-sick-1306533

Wow! That's really letting him 'have it'! Even Arturo would not have thought up the 'mollusc in a coma' phrase - I like it!

Fleet Street Fox has been even more vociferous in his column in the Mirror. He wrote : Jeremy Hunt is the man with nine lives - and now he's looking after yours. Not too bad a headline, are you thinking? Well - read the article! Here's a flavour of it:

So a man who charged the taxpayer for Mandarin lessons the same year he married a Chinese wife, whose job was to oversee the shambolic security preparations for the Olympics, who blamed the Hillsborough disaster on hooliganism, and who had a non-partisan role overseeing the takeover of a broadcaster by a media company with whose owners he was surprisingly chummy, with whose lobbyist he played tennis, and with which the multi-million pound company he still owns shares in did business, who was hauled before an inquiry and called a liar, doesn't get sacked.

He gets promoted to a more important job looking after an organisation which saves lives. Never mind that he's as ham-fisted as a clown juggling greased pigs, never mind that he ignores medical and scientific fact to support homeopathy and voted to slash the abortion time limit; no, the best person to be placed in charge of your stupid lives is the man who has nine of his own.

By my reckoning Jeremy Hunt's been through eight already, so hopefully he won't be in charge of the NHS for too long.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fleet-street-fox-column-jeremy-1302938

Ouch! Ouch! And ouch again! Being a cat who desperately hopes all nine of my lives are still intact - I wonder about the validity of Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt having already lost 8 of his own! A very dodgy situation to be in, I would say! One false step and he'll need all the help the NHS can give him. Maybe, as Fleet Street Fox suggests, 'Gormless' Hunt is a reincarnation of a cat - in which case he'll be needing the RSPCA, the Blue Cross or the PDSA.

Arturo and I padded down to watch the Athlete's Parade through the Mall - we scampered away at speed when we saw the familiar faces of 'Boy David' Cameron and Mop-Head Johnson preparing to 'speak'! Couldn't face it! But, at least we saw neither hide nor hair of the 'Gormless' one! And that, I can tell you, was one thing to be grateful for!

'Bye'

'Bagpuss' Pickles at it again @ No 10

"This Pickles berk is at it again!" Arturo announced.

"What do you mean - 'at it'?" I asked.

"Trying to wreck the countryside! As long as he gets short-term results he doesn't give a hoot for conservation. Just take a look at this." He pointed at a monitor.

The screen had the headline: Eric Pickles threatens to strip councils of planning powers : Communities secretary says he will hand powers to centralised authority if councils are too slow to make decisions

It was an article in the Guardian by Patrick Wintour reporting the fact that 'Bagpuss' Pickles intends to take away certain powers from local planning authorities. Wintour writes:

Eric Pickles the communities secretary, has warned he will strip local councils of their planning powers and hand them to a centralised Planning Inspectorate if they show a record of poor-quality or slow decision making.

The threat is designed as a lever to force what he described as councils living in "an economic la la land" to allow more housebuilding in their area.

The Planning Inspectorate would also have the power to override all agreements between councils and developers to reduce the number of affordable homes required, so making a development more profitable, and hence more likely to be built.

Labour described the Treasury-inspired measure, buried in a package of housing announcements meant to boost growth, as "a bombshell that threatens local decision making on planning decisions"

Clearly, the only one in 'la la land' is our 'Bagpuss' Pickles. Subtlety is not one of his finer points - you only need to observe him closely to see that!

Pickles received support from - guess who? That's right, the clown without make-up - 'Wailing Lad' Clegg - our very own Nicholas Ridiculous! It just had to be him, didn't it? According to Wintour:

Nick Clegg argued that the measures would not have a negative impact because the government would invest an extra £300m drawn from other departments to help build a further 15,000 affordable homes.

However, the fact is that vast numbers of building permissions have already been granted with no evidence of work being carried out. Wintour writes:

The Local Government Association (LGA) countered that the problem was not the planning system, pointing out that there were already 400,000 planning plots with permission to build. "At the current rate of construction it would take developers three and a quarter years to clear the backlog by building all of the new homes local authorities have signed off," the LGA said.

The association said government figures showed that councils were more positive towards development than ever, with the percentage of planning applications being given the green light hitting a 10-year high last year.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/sep/06/eric-pickles-councils-planning-powers?CMP=twt_fd

Ah ha! So there are 40,000 planning plots that already have permission to build - but not a brick has been laid down. So why is 'Bagpuss' Pickles sticking his oar in? Why is Clegg backing him up? They are typical politicians - they'll say or do anything to attract the headlines - even if, as in 'Wailing Lad' Clegg's case it means compromising his principles. 'Bagpuss' Pickles, like several others in his party, is such a one off that it's difficult to know whether he even understands the meaning of the word 'principles'!

The Telegraph also reports the planning announcements. James Kirkup has the headline:

David Cameron: build your way out of recession with home improvements. Home owners will be allowed to build large conservatories and extensions without requiring planning permission, David Cameron will announce, under plans to encourage a home improvements boom to stimulate the struggling economy.

The final paragraph states:

The Prime Minister later convened his new Cabinet, telling ministers they were all responsible for coming up with ideas to stimulate a recovery.

“What really matters now with the Cabinet changes, with the extensive government changes that I have made, is that we really demonstrate that this is a government that means business,” he said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/9524089/David-Cameron-build-your-way-out-of-recession-with-home-improvements.html

"Well, well!" Arturo said. "After two and a half years in government - the Prime Minister 'Boy David' Cameron has just decided that he heads up a government that 'means business'. So what's he been doing all this time? Playing at being PM?"

I didn't answer the question. I just nudged him and headed for the kitchen - we're going to have a kitchen supper. Appropriate, don't you agree?

'Bye'

Zero hours contracts for Ministers, please @ No 10

Arturo was more than a bit animated: "I say, Butch mi old pal! Do you see what I see? Even the upstairs cat, Larry, is leaving the sinking ship!"

He was right. Behind Nick Robinson's shoulders on BBC TV News last night, Larry and friend were distinctly seen quitting their posts. We all know that rats leave a sinking ship - but this was ridiculous!

Of course, we both knew why Larry was getting out of the way. 'Boy David' Cameron has been pacing the corridors saying : "Am I a man or a mouse? Am I a man or a mouse?"

Well - we all know the answer to that, don't we - he's neither man nor mouse but a jerk! And today, he demonstrated his foolishness with great aplomb. He gave the job of Secretary of State for Health to none other than Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt. Yes, he of the shifty look who you can hear whimper: "It weren't me, Guv, honest!"

In a much respected blog, 'The Green Benches', written by Dr Éoin Clarke dismay is expressed at the promotion of 'Gormless' Hunt.

Cameron's new man in charge of the NHS, Jeremy Hunt, supports cutting NHS funding for the poor & giving it to the rich.

http://eoin-clarke.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/camerons-new-man-in-charge-of-nhs.html

The 'new man in charge of the NHS' will discover an already butchered service. The Coalition is so desperate to save money that it will destroy almost anything of value. Hence, 'zero hours contracts' are being implemented across large swathes of the NHS.

You do know about zero hours contracts, don't you? In case you don't - take a look at James Cusick's article in the Independent on 3 September. It was headed:

Health warning over army of NHS 'temps'

It makes chilling reading for anyone concerned about the future of patient care.

Cusik writes:

NHS trusts are increasingly employing key clinical staff on "zero-hours" contracts which threaten to turn parts of the reformed service into an army of "temps".

Hospital trusts and private firms are turning to the contracts – which bind employees to on-call working but do not guarantee any specified number of hours or income or employment rights – to meet demands in the Government's controversial market-driven changes to the NHS, The Independent has learnt.

The move risks damaging training and expertise, critics say, and could risk a "G4S-style" situation where trusts could find that supposedly key employees are not available to work.

Is this any way to run a National Health Service? I think not! What type of people will be prepared, after years of training, to be employed on this basis?

Cusik continued:

The shadow Health Secretary, Andy Burnham, said: "I'm calling on the Government to halt the spread of zero-hours contracts in the NHS pending an urgent review into the potential risks to continuity of care and patient safety."

Mr Burnham said that the growing use of the contracts was a "depressing symptom of the Government's drive to turn England's health service into a full-blown market".

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/health-warning-over-army-of-nhs-temps-8101469.html

The Mail Online was equally exercised over the NHS zero hours affair.

Increasing numbers of highly skilled clinical staff are being employed on McDonalds-style 'zero-hours' contracts, risking the health and safety of NHS patients, it was revealed today.

The controversial deals bind staff to being on call, despite having no guarantees on hours, pay or some employment rights.

McDonald's, the world's biggest fast-food chain, employs the majority of its 87,500 UK staff on this basis, allowing them to call in workers at short notice at busy periods or not at all if it is quiet.

They only get paid for the hours they are there, meaning they are 'in work, but not always at work,' experts say.

The NHS has used this kind of contract to cover low-skilled jobs like cleaning, but now it is claimed the Government's controversial reforms are allowing more trusts to use them to cover frontline staff treating the public in hospitals and clinics.

These include cardiac services, physiotherapy, psychiatric therapy, and hearing services.

The Mail Online continued:

Critics fear that trusts could be left in a 'G4S situation', where they are unable to muster enough staff when some of these 'zero-hours' staff fail to turn up for shifts because they are working elsewhere or put off the job because of their contract.

G4S suffered humiliation this summer when on the eve of London 2012 it revealed it could not bring in enough staff, meaning thousands of soldiers were brought in to guard the Games.

http://m.dailymail.co.uk/mobile/news/article.html?articleID=2197532

"If this Coalition government thinks that zero hours contracts are good enough for doctors and nurses - then zero hours contracts are certainly good enough for Coalition Ministers." Arturo shook his head, then added: "What sort of contract do you reckon old Larry's got?"

We're going mousing tonight - upstairs!

'Bye'

Hard-hats for Georgy @ No 10

"Have you noticed" Arturo asked, "that our beloved Chancellor is always photographed wearing a hard-hat? Sometimes it's white, other times it's yellow! He never wears a trilby, a flat cap or a beret - it's always a hard-hat."

I had, in fact, noticed the phenomenon. You hardly ever see a picture of 'Georgy' Osborne without the seemingly obligatory head-wear these days. One has to ask oneself why does he do this? Is it:
a) To endeavour to look as if he is actually doing something practical?
b) To fend off the brick-bats coming his way from the far right Tories?
c) To protect his limited brain cells from the deft blows delivered by Business Secretary,'Invincible' Cable?

If the above were multiple choice questions in a GCSE examination, which one would you select?.

Maybe, 'Georgy' Osborne needs to acquire a double strength hard-hat in the coming days and weeks and take to wearing it at all times. Why, do I hear you ask? Well, David 'Bruiser' Davis is out gunning for poor old 'Georgy'. Robert Watts on 2 September wrote in the Telegraph, :

David Davis, the standard bearer for the Tory Right, has made a wide-ranging attack on the Government’s economic strategy, warning that another round of cuts before the next General Election is now “unavoidable”.

The Tory Right have got the bit between their decayed teeth and are chomping to ensure that their own parliamentary seats will be safe at the next election. They see what they regard as the weak leadership of the troublesome Cameron-Clegg-Osborne triumvirate as a near disaster! They demand that 'Boy David' Cameron should exert his 'true' Tory authority over the wishy-washy Coalition.

According to Robert Watts, the mood in the Tory party is not happy:

Mr Davis is to deliver a speech titled “there is an alternative economy policy” in London tomorrow. Meanwhile backbenchers are expected to vent their frustrations at a parliamentary dinner hosted by Mr Cameron on Wednesday evening...

“The mood in the party is pretty bloody and the outlook is depressing,” another leading backbencher told this newspaper. “It certainly seems another round of cuts is coming – that’s the impression one gets from the Treasury.

“People are starting to realise its going to be bloody difficult for a long time. We’ve probably got 15 or 20 years of this [spending cuts]. It is becoming plain that an alternative policy is needed.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/9514859/Cut-tax-and-spend-less-Tory-Right-tells-George-Osborne.html

So, you see, that is why 'Georgy' is wearing his hard-hats! With so many 'bloody' critics, he is not on safe ground! Maybe, it's time that he gave a hard-hat to his pal in No 10! It certainly looks as though they'll both need one, in the coming days and weeks!

Arturo and I are dining out tonight. We had an invitation from Fred, the black cat who lives at the Treasury. He's promised us caviar, the remains of a Sunday buffet! Yum! Yum!

'Bye'