It's all change @ No 10

So - Arturo and I watched the removal van come and load up the Cameron's stuff! Then, before you could say 'Jack Robinson' - it was old 'Kitten Toes' May herself taking up residence. Larry didn't know whether he was coming or going, I can tell you!

This 'ere Street is now overrun with cats! What with old fur ball Larry who has had his nose put out of joint by Palmerston from the Foreign Office. Palmerston is a right bruiser as Arturo's torn ear can vouch!

As if that wasn't enough! The powers that be have now imported another cat! This one goes by the name of Gladstone. He seems to be the general admired one - he's at the Treasury! He's jet black and looks an arrogant chap!

One cat is fine on his own! Two cats get on OK! But 3 upstairs cats is pushing it, I can tell you. And us below stairs cats are going to be the ones to pay the price.

So - to cut to the chase - me and Arturo are upping sticks, my friends. We are moving down to the Houses of Parliament - where we gather there are so many rats - we'll never go hungry.

Watch this space!!!!!

It's All Mouth at No. 10

"Promises! Promises! Or maybe it's 'pie in the sky'!" Arturo shook his head as he mused over Cameron's various pronouncements. "Just take a look at some of these little gems." He pointed towards various screens that the interns and spads had left on.

I peered at one particularly bright screen and read:

NHS weekend: 7-day services explained

It was on the BBC site. Halfway down the screen, I read:

What does the government want?

There are two strands to the policy. Firstly, they want local GP surgeries to open on a Saturday and Sunday.

... In terms of hospitals, the focus is on extending what is already available.

Of course, this is what Cameron says he wants! So - how is it all going to be paid for?

The BMA is concerned whether it will be properly funded, saying the extra money being promised for the NHS this parliament - £8bn by 2020 - was just meant to be for keeping current services afloat.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-34150672

Ah! Ha! So where's the extra dosh, Mr Cameron? Is there any?

The Nuffield Trust expressed concern on their online site: The Nuffield Trust Chief Executive Nigel Edwards was quoted as saying:

Making seven-day working a reality may [...] mean closures or mergers of local services, such as emergency surgery or maternity units. So, this will not only cost additional money beyond the £8bn but it will also require political bravery.

http://www.nuffieldtrust.org.uk/media-centre/press-releases/nuffield-trust-responds-government%E2%80%99s-seven-day-nhs-plans

'Political bravery!' Well - that's one way of putting it! Blatant politicking is what Arturo would call it! I decided to investigate further.

The BMA unsurprisingly had views on this and expressed them on their website:

Seven days │ seven questions

#Showusthe7dayplan

The BMA has asked David Cameron seven questions about his plans for the world's first 'truly seven-day NHS'.

So far, he has only answered one.

So what were those questions, do I hear you ask? Well, here they are:

• Will the cost of a ‘truly seven-day NHS’ mean some services will have to close?
• Where’s the plan to find, train and fund the full team needed to deliver a ‘truly seven-day NHS’?
• Can the Prime Minister promise no reductions to weekday services in a ‘truly seven-day NHS’?
• A 'truly seven-day NHS' needs a truly seven-day care system: where's the plan for this?
• Can the government find the money to pay for a 'truly seven-day NHS'?
• How will the government prioritise emergency care in a 'truly seven-day NHS'?
• When will the Prime Minister define what he means by a 'truly seven-day NHS'?

What was telling was the comment the BMA made after the question:

'Can the government find the money to pay for a 'truly seven-day NHS'?

This is what the BMA stated:

The NHS is facing a £30bn funding gap by 2020. The government has pledged £8bn of additional funding - enough to keep the NHS running as is, but not enough to pay for extra care and the additional staff and resources needed to deliver it.

The government must explain how it will fund more weekend care at a time when many hospitals are in serious financial difficulty and general practice is under unprecedented pressure.

And how will they address the existing staffing shortages? It takes 10 years to train a GP, and around 13 years to train a consultant - the workforce can't simply be increased overnight.

http://www.bma.org.uk/working-for-change/doctors-in-the-nhs/seven-day-services/show-us-your-plan

So - my friends - Mr Cameron needs to be reminded of the favourite rhyme:

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride:

He seems to think that opening his mouth and promising something that is a good PR line fools the people into thinking it will happen - no pain at all - it just happens because he wishes it so! As Arturo would say: "Put your money where your mouth is, mate!"

All this talk about 'It's all mouth!' made me think of food! Well, it would, wouldn't it? So I thought - me and Arturo are partial to a bit of scampi - so we're off to the local Italian Deli. They do a nice little side dish of scampi and calamari! Yum Yum!

Think of a Number at No. 10

"Think of a number, mi old pal." Arturo said in a very conspiratorial way. "But don't tell me the number."

"OK!," I replied, "twenty-four!"

"I said - DON'T tell me! Now start again - think of a number."

I nodded.

"Add 2. Add 1. Take away 4. Add 1. Now take away the number you first thought of." Arturo waited while I did the maths! Then smugly, he said, "The answer is nought!"

I was amazed. "How did you do that?"

"It's simple, really - it can be done with any number." Arturo said. "Just look at what our Prime Minister does with numbers, all the time!" Arturo pointed to a pile of old print-outs from blogs and newspapers left standing under the Cabinet Office table.

I sauntered over and saw Arturo had highlighted some articles. Here is just a flavour of what he had found:

It was obvious that as long ago as 2013 - the PM appeared to be having trouble with his numbers!

David Cameron given a lecture on 'debt' and 'deficit' by top statistics official

That was the headline to Rowena Mason's article in The Telegraph in which she wrote:

David Cameron has been taught the difference between "debt" and "deficit" by Britain's top statistics official, after he was accused of confusing the two economic terms.

....The Prime Minister was issued with the explanation by the UK Statistics Authority, after he claimed in a Conservative Party political broadcast that "we are paying down Britain’s debts.”

The article continued quoting Andrew Dilnot, chairman of the Statisics Authority who confirmed that

... national debt has risen from £811 billion to £1,111 billion at the end of 2012. He copied the Prime Minister's Chief of Staff in Downing Street into his letter.

"It is clearly important for all parties to public debate in this area to understand the relevant statistical definitions and to distinguish changes in the level of debt outstanding from changes in borrowing per period, and to reflect these in their communication of the statistical trends involved," he wrote.

"These are definitions which accord with concepts set out in European and international statistical accounting frameworks."

In the same article, the then Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury was quoted as saying:

“It is hugely embarrassing for David Cameron that he has had to have the difference between borrowing and debt explained to him by the chair of the UK Statistics Authority ...it's time the Prime Minister stopped deliberately misleading people about his economic record.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9842553/David-Cameron-given-a-lecture-on-debt-and-deficit-by-top-statistics-official.html

Oh dear! In 1988, David Cameron, now our PM, got a 1st Class Honours degree in PPE from Brasenose College Oxford. And - don't forget the 'E' stands for 'economics'!! What was Cameron doing during seminars?

I perused the clippings further and found a real gem in The Independent

David Cameron's numbers problem: From NHS spending to immigration caps – how the Tories can't get their figures straight

That was the headline of Adam Withnall's article which proceeded to dissect the facts and figures. Here are some snippets:

• '£13bn more on the NHS'

David Cameron boasted that his Government had increased NHS spending by £12.7 billion – and that’s right. Spending on the health service increased from £100bn in 2010/11 to a planned £113 billion in 2014/15.

But in the Coalition Agreement, Mr Cameron pledged to guarantee “real term” increases on health spending – factoring in inflation.

It therefore seems inconsistent to not factor in inflation this morning – if he had done, Mr Cameron would have said spending on the NHS had only really increased by £5 billion – but that doesn’t sound quite as impressive.

"That's either smoke or mirrors! perhaps, a bit of both!" Arturo interjected in my ear.

• ‘Net migration into tens of thousands’

A famous objective expressly put forward by the Government was “that net migration be reduced to the tens of thousands by the end of the current Parliament”. Generally, this has been taken to mean an objective of net migration under 100,000.

... it stood at 298,000 in the 12 months ending September 2014, well above what Mr Cameron was aiming for.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/generalelection/david-camerons-numbers-problem-from-nhs-spending-to-immigration-caps-how-the-tories-cant-get-their-10147119.html

"Umm! He certainly can think up numbers!" Arturo commented.

After all this reading I was punch drunk with numbers - lies, damned lies and statistics!

But there was also this numbers thing in Syria that had been highlighted by Arturo.

Ian Johnstone writing in The Independent had the headline

Syria air strikes: MoD disputed David Cameron's claim there are 70,000 moderate rebels

Johnstone wrote:

The Ministry of Defence reportedly asked for the controversial claim that there are 70,000 moderate rebels in Syria to be removed from the Prime Minister’s statement to MPs in which he made the case for air strikes on Isis.

The Sun newspaper, citing a Whitehall source, reported that senior defence staff had described the number as “misleading” and too high, based on reports from intelligence officers based in Lebanon.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/syria-air-stirkes-mod-disputed-david-camerons-claim-there-are-70000-moderate-rebels-a6759746.html

Whoops! And as if that wasn't enough then read what Conservative MP, Dr Julian Lewis, Chairman of the Defence Select Committee, said in the recent Commonsdebate on Syria:

So instead of having dodgy dossiers we now have bogus battalions of moderate fighters.

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201516/cmhansrd/cm151202/debtext/151202-0002.htm

Really! So, what is David Cameron's opinion of Dr Lewis? On his internet site, Dr Lewis quotes a comment made by Cameron in 2010:

"Julian Lewis has a formidable reputation in the field of defence and disarmament... Julian is held in very high regard by defence experts..."

http://www.julianlewis.net/

So what's 70,000 when you're among friends! Maybe our PM should start taking a few remedial maths classes. Surely, the PM needs to know how many beans make five! Or maybe not!

There was loads more! But I couldn't face it! Still got indigestion from too much turkey leftovers!

So I decided to take Arturo out for some posh nosh in the basement of The Savoy where one of my cousins, Francine, has just taken up residence! "Les moules marinières pour deux, s'il vous plait!", as Francine would say!

'Butcher' Osborne strikes again at No. 10

Arturo is in a right old spin - one minute he's packing his bags - the next he's throwing darts at photos of the 'Wrecker' and the 'Butcher'! In his sleep he mumbled: "Northern powerhouse! What Northern powerhouse?" He woke up in a real strop.

He's right, of course. 'Butcher' Osborne with his elfin-look-a-like hairdo is a veritable Vampire in disguise. Just read this snippet about him from The FT.

What is it about the north? True, Osborne represents the prosperous Cheshire seat of Tatton near Manchester — but it is only recently that he has thrown his energies into pursuing his “northern powerhouse” agenda, intended to link up cities such as Liverpool, Manchester and Leeds (electoral wastelands for the Tories) into a single economic unit, capable of becoming Britain’s second global hub alongside London. The “northern powerhouse” should be a Labour idea; instead, it is perhaps the best example of Osborne grabbing a concept and pursuing it when he can see economics, politics and personal ambition all aligning. “When that happens, he’s on to it in a flash,” says a fellow Tory MP.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/d1d65690-c2ae-11e4-a59c-00144feab7de.html

So what exactly will he be 'linking'? Factories? Furnaces? Steelworks? This is what The Mirror thought about it:

George Osborne’s Northern Poorhouse the reality as nation's steel industry hangs by a thread

That was the headline above an article written by Stephen Hayward and Dan Warburton. No 'powerhouse' but a 'poorhouse'. The article stated about Osborne and his plans:

He boasted of creating a “Northern Powerhouse” and transforming the lives of millions of workers.

But Chancellor Osborne’s plans are in tatters .

In a stinging attack, union leaders, politicians and experts tell the Sunday Mirror how his strategy for boosting economic growth in northern cities has fallen into chaos.

It comes as Indian firm Tata Steel is preparing to announce 1,200 job losses in Scunthorpe, Lincs, and two Scottish sites.

Another 2,200 workers have already been made ­redundant after the Thai-owned SSI plant in Redcar, T­eesside, shut down.

TUC boss Frances O’Grady said: “The North has already paid a huge price in cuts and ­under-investment – and there’s more to come.”

If this was 'Butcher' Osborne's idea of a powerhouse, one has to wonder what future there is for the whole of the UK!

In the same article, Hayward and Warburton quoted Roy Rickhuss, head of the steel union ­Community:

“If David Cameron is serious about building a Northern Powerhouse then let him prove it by taking the action we need to protect steel jobs in Scunthorpe and across the whole region.

“The Government has the tools they need to help, now they just need to find the political will.

“Whether it’s car factories, the construction sector or the defence industry, the whole economy needs a successful steel industry.

“One thing is for sure, without steel, a Northern Powerhouse cannot be built.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/george-osbornes-northern-poorhouse-reality-6654242

Isn't it strange that a large proportion of 'Butcher' Osborne's photo opportunities show him down among the workers, wearing a hard hat. It may be white - it may be yellow but it sure is hard! He likes to show himself as marching along with the 'makers' of this country. Remember his 2011 Budget Speech when he talked about 'the march of the makers'? Nice little sound bite! Appeals to the patriots! So - where are these 'makers'? Let's see what the media think has happened:

'March of the Makers' goes into reverse

In July, that was the headline above the Birmingham Post opinion article written by Professor David Bailey who

... asks what happened to the much-heralded plan to rebalance the UK economy and use manufacturing to underpin its growth Whatever happened to the 'March of the Makers' ...?

This year has so far been pretty dire for UK manufacturing. The sector's growth was only a meagre 0.1 per cent in the first three months of the year.

And when the figures come in, we'll probably see that manufacturing declined in the second quarter.

I say that as manufacturing output actually fell in April and May as the strength of sterling - now at a seven-year high - began to bite. Production was down 0.6 per cent in May compared with the previous month, following a 0.3 per cent fall in April.

http://www.birminghampost.co.uk/business/business-opinion/march-makers-goes-reverse-9696685

Now, instead of donning the old hard hat, 'Butcher' Osborne has put on the smooth jacket of international diplomacy to woo the Chinese. Maybe he meant an 'Eastern powerhouse' instead of a Northern powerhouse. Whatever he meant, Carrie Gracie, the BBC's China editor wrote:

Whitehall sources tell me the so-called "Osborne Doctrine" does amount to a strategic shift on China, one in which the prime minister has let the chancellor drive the agenda and where reluctant members of the cabinet are being "dragged along".

The chancellor wants China to become the UK's second-largest trading partner by the end of the decade. He points out that while growth in China has slowed, it is still supplying about a quarter of global growth, enough to add an economy the size of the UK's over five years.

Mr Osborne insists that this is a golden moment, where the interests of the UK and China align. China's maturing economy can absorb more of the services which are British export strengths.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-34539507

So - it's the golden opportunity for the 'Osborne Doctrine', is it? And all this in the context of China dumping cheap steel onto the UK market! So cheap, in fact, that British Steel furnaces are closing with the loss of thousands of jobs. And where are the lost jobs, do I hear you ask? In the North!! Of course.

Arturo was quite sick! He coughed up at least two fur-balls! The image of 'Butcher' Osborne smiling at the Chinese made him feel quite ill. But then so did this item found, in of all places, The FT :

The slightly dishevelled figure in the tracksuit and T-shirt stoops down and carefully scoops up the dog excrement deposited on the Downing Street lawn by Lola, a diminutive bichon frise. It is shortly after 6am on a February morning. The security cameras swivel as the man and his winsome dog complete their morning constitutional, the start of a normal day for George Osborne.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/d1d65690-c2ae-11e4-a59c-00144feab7de.html

As Arturo said; "Anyone who has to shovel sh** for a bichon frise can't be right in the head! And we're trusting the nation's finances to him!!"

Me and Arturo are going to venture to a small Chinese takeaway round the corner to have a taste of the 'golden future' by sneaking a bit of chicken chow mein! Appropriate, don't you think?

Bye

No more Mr Nice Guys at No 10

Me and Arturo are back from our jolly old hols! We ate Dover sole at the seaside. Tasty! Very tasty! We watched Arturo's sister's kittens frolic in the garden. We sniffed out the house mice but caught none. Then we moseyed on back to Downing Street.

We found the place almost deserted - a few hopeful Spads, a handful of Interns - a row of blinking computers and Larry! Larry seems disenchanted with life. He's even thinking of upping sticks and joining 'Stirrer' Corbyn. Larry thinks the nosh in Islington would be more up-market.

We asked if this joining up with 'Stirrer' Corbyn was an idealistic concept. Larry said: "No - purely gastronomic". He said "Cameron and Osborne lack good taste in food". Arturo muttered, "Much in the way in the same way they lack taste in behaviour and political judgement".

With his view on life ringing in my delicate feline ears, Larry stalked off to the flat next door! Arturo and me then perused the papers left strewn round the office. Here are just a snippet of what we found:

Benefit cuts to hit huge number of children, government figures show Children are seven times more likely to be affected by changes to the benefits cap.

Now, that's a real holiday news headline! Guaranteed to cheer the hearts of the already hard hit families. The article in The Guardian by Patrick Butler and George Arnett continued:

More than 330,000 children from low-income families in Great Britain will be hit by Conservative plans to reduce the benefit cap, the government’s own impact assessment has concluded.

The policy will take an estimated £300m out of the pockets of the affected families in its proposed first full year of operation in 2017-18, costing those who are hit an average of £63 per household each week.

Can things get worse? Well read on, my friends:

The impact assessment also notes that:

• Single mothers will be hit hardest as a group by the cap – constituting 59% of those affected by the change.

• More than three-quarters of the households affected will be aged between 25 and 44.

• As many as 37% of those affected may be ethnic minority households – although the study says this cannot be precisely quantified.

The DWP estimates that the cap will save £300m in cash terms in 2017/18, rising to £480m in 2021. But it admits that it has not yet modelled the costs of supporting those families affected.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jul/20/benefit-cuts-to-hit-huge-number-of-children-government-figures-show

Arturo then pointed to another headline:

Benefit cuts deaths: Time for Iain Duncan Smith to reveal the true cost of Tory policies

The article was written by Keir Mudie in The Mirror. The article stated:

The Sunday People has joined the campaign backed by more than 200,000 people for the DWP and IDS to come clean on how many people have been killed by their policies

To the Government they are just statistics – 49 deaths on a spreadsheet.

But behind the figures are vulnerable people scared and confused by changes to their benefits. Some are feared to have taken their own lives as a result.

The true toll of those who may have died due to benefits worries is unknown, as the Government stubbornly refuses to reveal figures - despite being ordered to by the Information Commissioner.

The watchdog told the Government to reveal the actual number of deaths, but instead it wants to release 'age-standardised mortality rates' which one campaigner described as a 'fudge'.

More than 200,000 people have so far signed a petition demanding the Department for Work and Pensions, run by Secretary of State Iain Duncan Smith, discloses the details.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/benefit-cuts-deaths-time-iain-617788200

That's enough on benefits - Arturo and me thought! To modify a famous political saying "Things can only get worse"! So we decided to see how the NHS has been faring - after all Cameron vowed to 'protect' it, didn't he?

Well, well, well - in looking for NHS news, another 'Jeremy' hits the headlines not 'Stirrer' Corbyn this time, but 'Old Snake Oil' Jeremy Hunt, he who looks constantly surprised! And so he should be! He should be surprised that any thinking person could vote him in as an MP! He should be astonished that any right-thinking person could make him a Secretary of State! Of course, there was no right-thinking person about! There was Cameron and that says it all! But enough of this! What did the headlines say?

#ImInWorkJeremy: doctors' working weekend selfies and open letters go viral

That was in 'The Guardian' in an article by Elena Cresci. She wrote:

Doctors have been sharing selfies and open letters about the pressures they face at work after the health secretary, Jeremy Hunt, called for healthcare professionals to work a seven-day week.

On Thursday, Hunt said he would impose weekend-working contracts and said working patterns need to change.

One has to wonder whether our 'Jeremy' works at all! He looks so constantly surprised that I wonder he can get out of bed in the morning!

Elena Cresci quoted several NHS doctors including this :

Some doctors wrote open letters to the health secretary on Facebook. Laura Land, a doctor from Telford, wrote a status subsequently shared by thousands:

She wrote:

Are you at work this weekend Jeremy? Because I am. Thank you for making out that we’re lazy, money-grabbing Doctors who don’t want to work long hours, especially at the weekend. Despite being employed part time (I have a 9 month old son at home), I’ll have worked over 60 hours this week. We, Jeremy, are the people skipping lunch so we can make sure our patients’ paperwork is done so they can go home on time. We’re the people missing family birthdays, our friends’ weddings, our children’s first steps, because we’re putting our patients’ needs first. We are the people that don’t see our own families anywhere near as much as we’d like to, because we’re busy taking care of yours.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/jul/20/iminworkjeremy-doctors-working-weekend-selfies-open-letters-jeremy-hunt-nhs

Are you surprised by this, Jeremy Hunt? We're not! However, Arturo was not done with the searching. He found:

NHS: Junior doctor’s open letter to David Cameron goes viral

This time, it was The Independent who lambasted our 'Old Snake Oil' Hunt.

Kunal Dutta wrote:

The Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, last week issued doctors an ultimatum by warning that they must accept new working hours which cover the weekend or else he will impose the changes unilaterally.

The article quoted Janis Burns, who works at the Royal Brompton and Harefield NHS Foundation Trust. In the article, she was quoted as challenging the Prime Minister,

...to attempt to treat a patient “on the brink of death” after a long stint of night shifts. “You try managing that after you’ve been up all night and then tell me the NHS isn’t 24 hours 7 days a week 365 days a year,” she wrote in the letter. She also accused Mr Hunt of “deliberately attacking” the profession and being “hell-bent” on convincing the public that doctors do not provide a seven-day service.

“On Wednesday morning this week I returned to work at 0800. I worked the weekend in Intensive Care as a junior doctor, for your information I was working from 2000 to 0900 on Friday, Saturday and Sunday i.e. I was part of the team that provided a 24 hour, 7 days a week, 365 days a year service,”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/nhs-junior-doctors-open-letter-to-david-cameron-goes-viral-10400502.html

Shall I go on? No, I think not! It's too depressing for the season of sand, sea and sunshine! Just think what November will bring!

Arturo and me, however, have decided on a new policy. No longer will the PM be 'Boy' David as you will have grown accustomed to - no, sirree! He from henceforth will be known as 'Wrecker' Cameron for his general wrecking. And as for his side-kick from No. 11, 'Georgy', - well Arturo and me have a new alias for him too - it's 'Butcher' Osborne. That's for carving up the whole country!

As for me and Arturo - we still have Downing Street almost to ourselves. We found a new Italian Deli and the Chef has taken quite a shine to Arturo. He's promised us some anchovies and sardines! Maybe some Pasta alla Norma and a bit of likëngë would be very nice. Yum! Yum!

Bye

Machiavelli woz 'ere at No. 10

"The world has gone mad!" Arturo said. "At best, you could say it's turned upside-down! The BBC are now responsible for parts of the welfare system! The NHS is not 'N' any more! And by next week - there may not even be a euro! Though that's nothing to do with Downing Street!"

Arturo pottered off to the kitchen to console himself with any scraps left over from last night's Dover Sole fest!

I glanced at a flickering tablet on one of the Spad's desks and sauntered over. The screen read:

George Osborne: £12bn in welfare savings have been found

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-33399650

My! My! I thought - that's smart going 'Georgy' Osborne. How did you manage that? I read the BBC News feature further:

Chancellor George Osborne says he has identified how the government will make the £12bn of welfare cuts promised in the Conservative election manifesto.

He will announce the bulk of the savings in his Budget on Wednesday, the BBC understands.

Those known so far include a reduction in the benefit cap and removing subsidies for social housing.

Mr Osborne is also expected to announce the BBC will have to meet the £650m cost of TV licences for over-75s.

That wasn't all - no, siree!

Mr Osborne said the welfare cuts were needed to prevent even deeper cuts to public services and to fulfil the government's aim of eliminating the deficit and running a surplus.

"So yes, we've got to find savings in welfare - and we have found that £12bn of savings in welfare that we said we'd be able to find in the election," he said.

The headline Budget announcement over the weekend was a clampdown on "taxpayer-funded subsidies" for "higher earners" living in social housing in England.

All I can say is: "Tell that to the fairies, Mr Osborne!" ...'prevent even deeper cuts to public services' - I can tell you there ain't many more 'cuts' he could make! The 'public services' are on their bloomin' knees already because of 'Georgy' Osborne.

And what's this about the BBC?

The BBC needed to make a "contribution" towards the deficit, which, BBC News understands, will include the corporation having to cover the free licences

Since when was the BBC responsible for giving 'perks' to pensioners? As Arturo said 'the world has gone mad'! I think we'd better see exactly who, in Downing Street, is hiding a copy of Machiavelli's 'The Prince' under their bed! because there sure are devious minds at work round here!

Of course, tomorrow we'll hear the whole devastating package! Can't wait!

The prospect of the Budget has made me feel peckish - I'm off to the kitchen too to find some stinking fish! There's plenty of that round here.

Bye

Plus ça change @ No. 10

Well, it's been a month since the last blog post! Arturo and me thought there'd be some changes around here! But .... nothing doing. It's the same old bunch minus 'Wailing Lad' Clegg. Now he really has something to wail about!

Arturo and me sat up all night with a big bowl of scampi to see the results on TV! It was obvious very early on that 'Boy David' Cameron would be back together with his pal 'Georgy' Osborne. Now - they have to make good all those pre-election promises: more money for all; no tax rises; fewer migrants; a compliant EU! All of this with jam on top, as they say!

It's early days, I think they call it a 'honeymoon' period! Then the reality kicks in.

We've had many visitors to Number 10 and Number 11 Downing Street - but last week - we had the strangest one ever. It was a heron! Yes, my friends, you did read that correctly - a bloomin' great heron, bold as brass walked right in. Here's what the papers had to say:

HERON flies into No10 Downing Street and perches on top of famous black door

Dan Bloom wrote in The Mirror:

It has police guards and high metal gates - but that didn't stop a 3ft bird breaching Downing Street security.

With police guards and high metal gates, it fends off everyone from terrorists to anti-Tory protesters.

But Number 10's security has been breached - by a heron.

In a bizarre turn of events, the huge bird flew in today and trotted around the entrance before perching on top of the famous black door.

It was spotted by Downing Street special advisor Ramsay Jones, who said it'd taken refuge after being attacked by a crow.

After gamely posing for a few photos, it eventually flew away.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/heron-flies-no10-downing-street-5778482

Me and Arturo missed the kerfuffle! And kerfuffle there surely was! After all what if this 'ere heron had got at the goldfish!

The story also ran in The Evening Standard where Ramzy Alwakeel wrote :

The gates of Downing Street may have held angry anti-austerity protesters at bay yesterday - but they proved no match for this heron, which alighted on the Prime Minister's front door this afternoon.

The wading bird, whose natural foods are fish and other small aquatic animals, ignored security and landed on the open door at about 2.30pm.

It was photographed perched there by special adviser Ramsay Jones.

"Guess what just flew in to No 10?" he tweeted, adding: "Not so much #herongate as knock knock knocking on #heronsdoor."

... This isn't the first time Mr Cameron has shared headlines with a few feathered friends.

It was revealed in 2010 he regularly played Angry Birds on his iPad - which later prompted fears spies may be able to access sensitive data by hacking the game.

Ramzy Alwakeel continued :

... On the day Parliament was dissolved, Mr Cameron's cat Larry had bristled on the steps of Number 10 at a police sniffer dog.

Journalists, who had been outside the house since dawn, also saw a fox seemingly pursuing a duck up Britain’s most famous street.

"You may not believe this but a fox has just chased a duck up Downing Street; this has become an election fairy tale," tweeted BBC political correspondent Ross Hawkins.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/heron-invades-10-downing-street-after-fleeing-crows-advances-10282027.html

If you're interested - and it's a big 'if' in our books - there's a picture of Larry - the upstairs cat confronting a sniffer dog! Of course, us understairs cats keep ourselves to ourselves. We have better things to do than court publicity! We're sharpening our claws and waiting for the shenanigans that will surely start happening once the SNP brand new MPs have got their bearings.

In the meantime, we thought we might have a look to see what's on the menu tonight at the local fish and chips! Of course, 'Boy David' Cameron may be bringing back lots of lovely Continental nosh from his whistle-stop tour of European capitals such as: frankfurters from Berlin; Camembert from Paris; Zupa buraczkowa from Warsaw! Or - he may just get a wet fish in the face from some of these European pals. Maybe, just maybe, that's why the heron came visiting! Canny birds, herons!

Bye

What planet are they on? @ No. 10

"What would you like for your birthday, mi old pal?" Arturo asked with a very sly grin. "I can give you anything - I truly mean anything - that you want in the world!"

I was gobsmacked! Arturo was generous - but to offer me anything in the world was a bit too far, even for him!

"Do you spy a catch in the offer?" He queried. "It's no more nor less than what 'Boy David' Cameron is offering to the whole country! He's giving tham a 'pledge' to give them everything and anything that they could possibly want. There's just one teeny-weeny proviso - they have to vote Conservative on May 7. What d'ya think of that?"

I decided to investigate this 'pledge' Arturo was on about. It wasn't hard to discover. Michael White writing in The Guardian under the headline:

David Cameron's dishonest and foolish tax pledge is an insult to voters

commented:

David Cameron’s latest pledge that a re-elected Tory government would legislate for a ban on tax rises in the next parliament is economically illiterate as well as politically dishonest.

For brazen incoherence it is up there with the kind of Daily Mail front page splash (“Miliband eats babies”) we have been reading these past few weeks. From an incumbent prime minister, even one addicted to tactical solutions, it is quite startling; a “gimmick”, as Ed Balls kept protesting on Wednesday.

Well, well! 'economically illiterate and politically dishonest! Those are hard words indeed. Though to be fair, Michael White didn't absolve any of the other parties either:

Are the plans of the two Eds – Balls and Miliband – for tax and spending much better? Not really, as Larry Elliott’s brisk summary of the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) analysis explains. Nick Clegg’s are probably slightly more plausible (I cannot remember their thrust except that they are in between the others), but the Lib Dem leader’s likely leverage on events after 7 May makes it rather less important. The Greens and the SNP? Don’t even ask.

In varying ways they all subscribe to the tree-grown theory of money which suggests something will turn up, probably for the best, that will allow them to make good the spurious promises they make to voters – on housing, the NHS, education, childcare, budget surpluses – despite the fragility of our credit-driven economy.

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/29/david-cameron-tax-lock-pledge-insult-voters

So what was the wording of that particular Cameron 'pledge' that provoked this ire? Writing in the Financial Times, Elizabeth Rigby, George Parker and John Aglionb commented

David Cameron will on Wednesday promise a law banning any rise in income tax, VAT or national insurance in the next parliament, in a highly unusual move that would severely restrict the Treasury’s room to manoeuvre if he won a second term. Mr Cameron hopes the tax promise will inject momentum into his campaign, by highlighting the party’s commitment to low taxes ...

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/663896e0-edbb-11e4-90d2-00144feab7de.html

Ummmm! So what happens if the famous Rumsfeld adage turns out to be true? You don't recall that - well let me remind you:

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/d/donaldrums148142.html

Now that convoluted little adage hides the faintest whisper of a truth! There are events in the future that we - and by that I mean Cameron et al, as well - cannot forecast! So - how can a man, hopefully in his right mind and living on this planet, state that :

"I make this pledge that if you elect me as your Prime Minister there will be no increase in VAT; no increase in National Insurance; no increase in income tax."

On ITV News

... Europe Editor James Mates asked Mr Cameron: "Five years ago you promised not to raise VAT, is this promise designed now to convince a skeptical public that you won't break that promise again?"

Mr Cameron responded: "Unlike in 2009, 2010, I've seen the books, I've been doing this job for five years, I know what remains to be done."

http://www.itv.com/news/story/2015-04-29/cameron-conservatives-would-ban-tax-rises-until-2020/

So - my friends - just watch this space! Will the tax 'lock' hold? Will the tax 'lock' give way? Will the tax 'lock' be picked? The possible scenarios are legion! Of course, that wily old bird, Harold Macmillan, knew the real face of politics

When asked what was the greatest challenge for a statesman, British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan reportedly responded, in his inimitable style, “Events, my dear boy, events.”

http://www.othermeanspolitics.com/home/quote-of-the-week-events-my-dear-boy-events

It's a shame that 'Boy David' Cameron is such a rubbish historian and such a shameless PR man!

He's not the only one who is chancing his arm. 'Interfering Old Git' Murdoch is playing a similar game with the voters. The Sun in England gives its support to the Tories! Whereas in Scotland - support goes to the Scottish Nationalist Party!

Do they take the British public to be fools - or horses?

Me and Arturo are still guzzling on the caviar nibbles that are lying about the place. With all these 'pledges' flying around - the good times are still to come - or are they?

Bye

Grip and Grin @ No.10

The carpet cleaners have been in! The window cleaners have been in! Arturo and me have had no peace! Only two weeks to go and then the fun will really begin! All we ask is for a quiet life but it sure ain't been quiet around here!

Arturo heard the 'World at One' on BBC Radio 4 on Monday and nearly choked himself when he heard one reporter say of 'Boy David' Cameron that he was all 'grip and grin'! Well - I ask you!! All grip and grin - it's worse than the expressions 'pressing the flesh'! or 'where's the beef?'

There's a frenzy of politicians trying to appear something they ain't. For example: Ed 'Hello Gromit' Miliband has had a veritable plethora of supposedly swooning women following him. The MailOnline had the following article by Tom Mctague:

Miliband wins ANOTHER female fan: TOWIE star Lydia Bright reveals she would 'definitely snog or marry' the Labour leader

Reality TV star said Mr Miliband 'definitely' topped her list of politicians

She was asked who she would pick in a game of 'snog, marry or avoid'

Bright said Mr Miliband was 'good looking' and had 'good dress sense'

It comes after the Labour leader became an unlikely pin-up for teen girls

Thousands of teenagers took to Twitter claiming to be 'Milifans'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3057348/Only-Way-Essex-star-Lydia-Bright-reveals-definitely-snog-marry-Ed-Miliband.html

There's more. The Guardian's Rebecca Ratcliffe wrote :

Ed Miliband has developed an unlikely fanbase of smitten teenage girls, after a 17-year-old student declared her admiration for the Labour leader on Twitter and prompted a flood of replies from other young women.

A student, known only as Abby, caused a Twitter storm after declaring herself leader of the #milifandom – a group of enthusiastic Ed Miliband admirers. Fandoms are usually reserved for the likes of Justin Bieber and One Direction, but the #milifandom hashtag has been trending, with scores of young females sharing their affection for the leader.

Abby says the Milifandom, which started last week, is “a movement against the distorted media portrayal of Ed”.

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/apr/22/milifandom-soars-with-twitter-backing-for-labour-leader-ed-miliband

Arturo read all this with evident amusement - "It'll drive Lynton Crosby wild! What's he going to think up to counter this?"

The answer was the Cameronettes! The BBC reported:

The hashtag #milifandom has been used more than 28,000 times in the past 24 hours. A counter-surge by Conservative supporters, #cameronettes, attracted around 8,000 tweets.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-32414313

You MUST see the video Hannah Henderson posted on that BBC site. In this - 'Wailing Lad' Clegg, the 'Amazon Warrior' Sturgeon and 'Frantic' Farage are also portrayed in one guise or another! It's amazing what a politician will do to get a vote!

But it was on the 27 April that 'Boy David' Cameron was forced to reconfigure his image. Why then, you may ask! Could it have been because of the knock-about interview that 'Mop Head' Johnson and Ed 'Hello Gromit' Miliband had on the Marr Show?

Or perhaps it was because Rupert 'Interfering Old Git' Murdoch tweeted:

UK. Failure to win majority against either Brown in crisis or Miliband would mean chop for Cameron. Open talk today in party and press.

Whatever the spur - Cameron gave a performance reminiscent of a none too eager boxer trying to impress his opponent by shadow boxing with sham gusto! Just read Michael Deacon in The Telegraph whose article

David Cameron gets 'pumped up' during speech on election campaign

appeared under a video repeating ad nauseum Cameron shouting

"Taking a risk; having a punt; having a go - that pumps me up!"

Deacon wrote:

Well. After that speech, David Cameron probably needed to go and lie down in a darkened room. I know I did.

Critics of the Conservatives’ campaign have been complaining that the Prime Minister lacks “passion”. This morning, during a speech in London about small business, he decided he was going to prove them wrong.

There was no lectern. No seats. Not even a microphone. Instead, he just shouted.

“THAT’S WHAT PUMPS ME UP!” he bellowed, referring to his “PASSION FOR BUSINESS”. “IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO ROLL OVER IN THE NEXT NINE DAYS, YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER THINK COMING!”

He was shouting so loudly I practically had to hang on to my hair to stop it from blowing clean off my scalp.

Arturo and I had heard the speech on the radio and nearly choked on our sardines.

Deacon went on to comment on the performance from Cameron:

When the speech had finally blown itself out, journalists asked him what was behind this eye-popping change in style. “IF I’M GETTING LIVELY IT’S BECAUSE I FEEL BLOODY LIVELY!” blared the Prime Minister. His face was by now a raging crimson. He looked like a sunburnt lobster. Or a red Incredible Hulk.

Well, you’ve got to give the man credit for trying.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/11565592/David-Cameron-gets-pumped-up-during-speech-on-election-campaign.html

Arturo and me aren't too sure the 'pumped up' act will do 'Boy David' Cameron any favours. By the end, he was puce and sweating - totally out of condition! Not a pretty sight!

As for 'Wailing Lad' Clegg - he never seems to learn from the past - on the Sky News LIVE BLOG General Election 2015 - there was the following report:

He (Clegg) told reporters on the battle bus: "That is a first major red line for us and that we won't enter into any governing arrangement that does not meet that funding test for support for nurseries, schools and colleges, from cradle to college.

"I think it is only fair that we say to the British people 'if you vote for the Liberal Democrats this is what you will get - no ifs, no buts, this is a deal breaker'."

http://news.sky.com/story/1443818/live-blog-general-election-2015

Now - if my memory is correct that little phrase 'no ifs - no buts' has a certain checkered history - recall Cameron's immigration promises, do you?

As I was musing on all this, Arturo said, "Remember Clegg's pledge about tuition fees, before the last election? Surely, anything to do with education should have dropped like a hot potato! A veritable hostage to fortune."

Phew! What a day - and things, as they say, can only get worse! As for me and Arturo - we're eating in tonight. The place is empty and there are some tasty leftovers from Lynton Crosby's assistants! There are some perks to living here in Downing Street! There'd have to be!

Bye

"No ifs, no buts!" at No. 10

"No ifs, no buts, mi old pal, our PR man of a PM uses foolish phrases, that are 'hostages to fortune'!" Arturo was grinning from whisker to whisker as he pointed at a tablet screen.

I ventured closer and saw a whole series of tabs - so naturally I investigated. This is what Arturo had so efficiently laid out for me to read!

In October 2009 David Cameron, before he became Prime Minister, said:

‘No ifs, no buts, there’ll be no third runway at Heathrow’

Yet within months, he had set up a Commission to investigate the feasibility of that very same 'third runway'! Ummmm! So just what did 'no ifs, no buts' mean to 'Boy David' Cameron, I wonder.

The infamous 'no ifs, no buts' phrase has been used by Cameron and his pals on many occasions but the real, 'humdinger', as Arturo would say, was yet to come!

The BBC News web site quoted from Cameron's now infamous speech made in 2011 on the government's immigration policy:

... net migration to this country will be in the order of tens of thousands each year, not the hundreds of thousands every year that we have seen over the last decade.

... But with us, our borders will be under control and immigration will be at levels our country can manage.

No ifs. No buts.

That's a promise we made to the British people. And it's a promise we are keeping.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13083781

Well, well, well! That was another rash promise to make, Prime Minister! The facts showed that

624,000 people immigrated to the UK in the year ending September 2014, a statistically significant increase from 530,000 in the previous 12 months.

http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/migration1/migration-statistics-quarterly-report/february-2015/index.html

Oh dear! Oh dear! 624,000 and 'statistically significant' to boot! That don't sound like 'tens of thousands', darlin' - that sounds more like hundreds of thousands, to me.

Arturo wonders why 'Boy David' Cameron uses this little refrain, 'no ifs, no buts' so often!

This particular 'no ifs, no buts' foray - even produced a response from Cameron's 'rose garden' pal, 'Wailing Lad Clegg. He was quoted by Alan Travis in The Guardian:

“I think it’s very embarrassing for the Conservatives. They made a huge amount of fanfare about it and they were warned. They were warned by me and others, privately: ‘Don’t do this, it doesn’t make any sense.’

“And now of course, I think they quite rightly will have to suffer the embarrassment having made a commitment on something which people care about passionately, which is immigration. They have made a commitment and they have failed spectacularly to deliver it.”

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/feb/26/net-migration-to-uk-higher-than-when-coalition-took-office

Clegg may be Deputy Prime Minister but he knows an election is in the offing - so true to form, he's positioning himself away from pal Cameron. Of course, we all know that 'Wailing Lad' Clegg adheres to his promises - remember tuition fees, do you?

The Conservative Party Spring Conference, just 40 days before the Election, has been addressed by 'Boy David' Cameron. This time there was no sign of the infamous 'no ifs, no buts'. However, he did say:

Over the next five years we will deliver the following things:

3 million Apprenticeships.

Full employment...

Building 100,000 new Starter Homes...

Ring-fencing NHS spending so not a penny is cut.

Renegotiating in Europe.

Delivering that in-out referendum.

Scrapping the Human Rights Act.

... If you want those things, vote for me.

... So this is the big question for that election.

On the things that matter in your life, who do you really trust?

http://press.conservatives.com/post/98882674910/david-cameron-speech-to-conservative-party

The NHS is going to be a major battleground in the coming election. Cameron's pledge that

Ring-fencing NHS spending so not a penny is cut.

was reinforced at that same conference by this statement from him:

"With a future Conservative government, we would have a truly seven-day NHS. ... by 2020."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/32094681

In the same BBC news item quoting Cameron's speech, Dr Mark Porter, chairman of the British Medical Association, was reported as having stated:

Conservatives' funding commitment was not even enough to maintain existing services, and that a funding gap of up to £30bn a year was predicted to open up.

He said: "Without a detailed, fully-costed plan to provide the staff and resources needed to deliver more seven-day services, this is at best an empty pledge and at worst shameless political game-playing with the NHS ahead of the election."

Phew!!

If anyone should know the state of health of the NHS - probably it is the Chairman of the British Medical Association! He thinks that the NHS promises made by Cameron are

at best an empty pledge and at worst shameless political game-playing

We should not be surprised by this though - oh no! The same was true in 2009 and 2010 - George Eaton, in 2013, wrote about them in The New Statesman under the headline:

The pre-election pledges that the Tories are trying to wipe from the internet: "No frontline cuts", "no top-down NHS reorganisations", "no VAT rise" - why the Conservatives are trying to erase all pre-May 2010 speeches and press releases from the internet.

These were some of the pre-2010 election promises that Eaton commented on:

No cuts to front-line services

As remarkable as it may seem, David Cameron told Andrew Marr the weekend before the general election that a Conservative government would not cut any front-line services.

"We have absolutely no plans to raise VAT"

In an interview with Jeremy Paxman on 23 April 2010, Cameron said: "We have absolutely no plans to raise VAT. Our first Budget is all about recognising we need to get spending under control rather than putting up tax."

... NHS: "no more top-down reorganisations"

In a speech at the Royal College of Pathologists on 2 November 2009, Cameron said: "With the Conservatives there will be no more of the tiresome, meddlesome, top-down re-structures that have dominated the last decade of the NHS."

http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2013/11/pre-election-pledges-tories-are-trying-wipe-internet

Just check out the REAL FACTS - all the pledges vanished into thin air, my friends. All of them! Just ask those 'frontline' NHS nursing staff, police officers, firefighters and the emergency ambulance crews! No frontine cuts! My eye!

As to 'No increase in VAT!' Surprise, surprise - it went up from 17.5% to 20%! In fact:

Unveiling his first Budget to MPs, Mr Osborne said "tough but fair" action on debt was "unavoidable".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10371590

My! My! in his 'first Budget'! Can you credit that! What price a pledge?

And as for 'no top-down NHS reorganisation' - the NHS has seen one vast top-down reorganisation. The cost of that reorganisation? Billions of pounds! Yes - billions of pounds!! Also, what about the private companies tearing its very structure apart!

All in all - you could say that this Coalition with its rash of promises has behaved just like a right old bunch of geezers! Toffs they may like to think they are - but to us they're just geezers!

I decided to give Arturo a treat tonight - I'm taking him to meet Yanis - the friendly tabby from the Greek Embassy. He says he knows a great little Greek restaurant where we might even be able to sip retsina with our milk! And, boy, oh boy, do we need something a bit stronger - to fortify our brains to digest the next round of pledges, promises and 'no ifs, no buts'. Maybe we'll have a wee Ouzo to steady our nerves!

Bye

'Roll Up! Roll Up' - UK Bargains at No. 10

"I'm thinking of finding things to put in the Downing Street Jumble sale." Arturo said cryptically.

"Oh yeah!" I tried to sound nonchalant - 'cos I hadn't a clue what he was on about.

"Yeah! How about selling off your cat litter tray?"

"Haven't got one!" I replied.

"You don't have to own one personally, mi old pal. Just do a Cameron and Osborne! Lay your hands on anything that looks as though it's got value and then sell it!" He pointed a paw at a pile of newspapers and at a tablet screen. "Just see how it's done! it's easy!"

My mind fair boggled when I read all the articles - Arturo was right. Take a look:

Last year Asa Bennett wrote an article in the Huffington Post UK under the headline:

George Osborne's Land Sale Plan Like 'Selling Off Family Silver', Critics Warn

The article continued:

George Osborne has been accused of planning to "sell off the family silver" over new plans to pay down the budget deficit by potentially selling any of the government's property at a "fair price".

The new "right to contest" scheme will allow businesses and members of the public to submit a proposal for any of the government's £330 billion worth of land and property, even if they are currently in use.

So that's where Arturo got his idea from! 'Georgy' Osborne settling the deficit by selling 'off the family silver'. He seems to be selling the ground from under his feet ... and under ours!! Dodgey! Very Dodgey! Let's see what more Asa Bennett wrote:

Cabinet Office minister Francis Maude made clear that the government will not be selling "national treasures" like Downing Street or the British Museum. "Hard-working taxpayers expect us to save money like this and that’s just what we are determined to do,” he said.

Ah Ha! That's telling 'em, 'Weasel Man' Francis Maude, Tory MP for Horsham, Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General. Yes! The one and only 'Lord-High-Everything' was there to defend the master plan. So Osborne is not planning to sell off Downing Street or the British Museum! Wonder if he's thought about Buckingham Palace - that's a nice bit of real estate!

However, Green Party leader Natalie Bennett did not agree with the old Weasel Man's defence. She was quoted as saying:

... Public assets should continue to be used for the common good, whether it be sporting fields, libraries or community meeting rooms. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. We’ll have little chance of getting them back and we’ll all be poorer.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/01/08/george-osborne-government-land_n_4560755.html

I looked around the Cabinet Office at the chairs and table - the pictures on the wall, the lush carpet beneath my paws and wondered when they would be sold off!

Next, I came across another example of a sell-off! I saw The Guardian headline:

Royal Mail sale underpriced by £1bn, says scathing select committee report: MPs from all three main parties agree that government pushed through privatisation at expense of getting a good deal

Sean Farrell wrote

Taxpayers lost out on £1bn because the government and its City advisers underpriced the privatisation of Royal Mail, a committee of MPs says today.

In a highly critical report, the Business, Innovation and Skills (Bis) committee said the government worried too much about pushing the privatisation through at the expense of getting the best price for taxpayers.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/jul/11/royal-mail-sale-lost-1bn-says-select-committee

Can you believe it! The taxpayers of the UK lost £1bn! That ain't chicken feed!! So - it seems that the Coalition Government is not only unable to know the value of anything but doesn't even know its real cost. Or something to that effect!!

Was our 'Georgy' Osborne daunted by all this criticism - No he was not! Was 'Boy David' Cameron deterred from making another 'fine mess'? No he was not! What did the lads do, do I hear you ask? Well this is what they did:

George Osborne accused of 'selling off the family silver' after announcing Eurostar sale

Yes, my friends! You did read that correctly. Eurostar, beloved of Mrs 'Iron Lady' Thatcher was sold off! Macer Hall wrote in The Express

The Chancellor yesterday gave the go-ahead to a £757.1million deal to offload the 40 per cent state holding in the cross-Channel rail operator to a pension-fund consortium.

The move, which will give Mr Osborne more room for manoeuvre on tax and spending in his Budget in a fortnight, was formally announced early today when the Stock Exchange opened.

The article continued:

However, the move has been criticised by rail unions, with some accusing the Chancellor of conducting a "short-sighted, pre-election act of public sector destruction".

http://www.express.co.uk/news/politics/561765/Chancellor-George-Osborne-sell-eurostar

Now where have we heard of public sector destruction before? Remember, do you? Yes! The NHS of course!!

Osborne, Cameron and Hunt have not yet said: "By the way, we're selling off the NHS! It's good for the public purse, don't you know?" But, according to the NHS Support Federation it seems that:

almost all of the clinical work that the NHS provides has been opened up to the for-profit sector and they have begun to take over the caring of many NHS patients. At present the NHS is still the dominant provider and for the most part care is still free of charges. But the private sector is quickly expanding its role, energised by the passing of the Health and Social Care Act early in 2012. In areas of many care, the NHS is having to compete for patients and funding, in a new market-focussed health service.

Take a trip to your family doctor, many now work for companies like Virgin and Care UK. Your GP may send you for tests carried out by companies like In-health, who run imaging and pathology. Your GP may refer you to a hospital for surgery - perhaps performed in one of the privately run treatment centres. When you return home you could be cared for by one of the queue of companies who are now taking over the running of community health services right across the country. The reach and influence of the private sector over our healthcare is growing fast.

http://www.nhsforsale.info/privatisation-list.html

Boy, oh boy! The country has become a veritable schmutter fest! So anything else been sold off - well yes, actually! Mona Chalabi writing in The Guardian under the headline :

Britain sells off £1.7bn of family silver

wrote:

New statistics reveal that the UK government has allowed the export of thousands of objects of cultural importance in the space of less than a year - what were they?

She continued:

Between May 2012 and April 2013, 33,842 items, with a total value of £1,665,255,992, were issued with export licences after experts decided they did not have sufficient national importance.

http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2014/jan/30/britain-sells-off-17bn-of-cultural-importance

So - there you have it! If it is worth a farthing, Osborne and Cameron reckon it's worth selling! You notice they don't sell off their own houses, carpets, curtains or books! That wouldn't be good sense. According to Arturo, their motto must surely be

What's thine is mine to do what I will with - but what's mine is mine - is mine, mate - so get your mucky paws off!

They'd be more genteel like! But that's the gist of it!

Me and Arturo felt quite depressed - we can see our very homes disappearing down the Swanee! What we need is some good old comfort nosh! We're off to the Italian Deli round the corner - the chef there has some scampi on the menu tonight - some is sure to fall off the worktop!

Bye

It's a rich man's world @ No.10

"What's all this about fat cats? I ain't nor are you a fat cat." Arturo was quite beside himself, as he pointed to a screen.

Fatcat fund managers dodge £700MILLION in tax every year because of loophole

I too was incensed 'fatcat' indeed! But I decided to read on to discover the justification for that headline in The Mirror online. The article was by Jack Blanchard:

Fatcat fund managers are using a £700million-a-year loophole to pay a lower income tax rate than teachers and nurses, a report warns today.

Ah Ha, I thought, so that's what its all about - not fat cats eating pieces of tuna - but really gross fat cats gobbling up the dosh! I read on:

(38 Degrees Group Director) Mr Babbs urged Chancellor George Osborne to side with “hardworking families on average incomes” by closing the loophole in his March 18 Budget.

But many private equity bosses bankroll the Conservative Party.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/fatcat-fund-managers-dodge-700million-5187932

It gets real murky! People with taxable income up to £31,865 are basic-rate taxpayers and pay tax at 20% - yet it seems that some of these private equity bosses 'cut tax bills to just 10% by treating their multi-million pound wages as capital gains instead'! Talk about something smelling rotten in the State of Denmark!

A story on the same topic, written by Chris Green appeared in The Independent under the headline:

Private equity bosses using £700m tax ‘loophole’ – and donating to the Tories

Can't get clearer than that, can you? Even I can hear the fat cats guzzling! Further on Green quoted David Babbs:

“Money which should be funding the NHS is going to millionaire fund managers instead,” said David Babbs, executive director at 38 Degrees. The group added that the current draft of the Government’s forthcoming Finance Bill, published in December, explicitly exempted the private-equity executives from new anti-tax avoidance legislation.

Green explained how the loophole operates:

The so-called Mayfair tax loophole allows private equity executives to pay relatively low tax on the profits their investment funds make from buying and selling companies.

This is achieved by classifying this profit (known as “carried interest”) as capital gains – as if it had been produced by investing their own personal capital – rather than salaried income.

While their salaries and bonuses are subject to normal income tax rules, the carried interest – which in some cases makes up the majority of the executives’ pay packets – is subject only to capital gains tax at 28 per cent, instead of income tax at 40 per cent or 45 per cent.

The special arrangement is guaranteed by a memorandum of understanding negotiated outside Parliament between HMRC and the private equity industry’s umbrella group, the British Venture Capital Association.

Critics say the loophole is unfair, as the money wagered on private equity deals largely comes from outside investors, not the executives themselves. They argue that it would make more sense for the profits to be taxed like salaries at the higher income tax rate.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/private-equity-bosses-using-700m-tax-loophole--and-donating-to-the-tories-10054911.html

Now that is a pretty clear explanation - even for skinny cats, like me and Arturo, to grasp! But in this 'rich man's world' there are other areas where even stinking fish would smell sweet! Just take a look at a story in The Guardian by Owen Bowcott which had the headline:

HSBC should face UK criminal charges, says former public prosecutor: Lord Ken Macdonald QC says HMRC’s decision not to prosecute bank over Swiss revelations was ‘seriously legally flawed’

The article continued:

In a legal opinion prepared for the consumer watchdog, SumOfUs, Lord Ken Macdonald QC argues that there is sufficient evidence for the bank to be investigated for conspiracy to defraud the UK tax authorities. Decisions taken by Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC) not to prosecute the bank were “seriously legally flawed”, he said.

...Macdonald also said he believed that evidence already publicly available suggested HSBC should be prosecuted under the 1977 Criminal Law Act for its part in a “systemic” operation to deprive HMRC of revenue.

“It seems clear, from the evidence we have seen, that there exists credible evidence that HSBC Swiss and/or its employees have engaged over many years in systematic and profitable collusion in serious criminal activity against the exchequers of a number of countries.

Wow! That's telling 'em! But that was not the end of the article, no siree. It continued:

Martin Caldwell of SumOfUs said: “No company can be above the law. If HSBC or its employees have defrauded British taxpayers they need to be brought to justice. By allowing wealthy clients to evade tax HSBC has cheated the public out of millions of pounds that could have funded schools, hospitals and libraries across the country.

“UK tax authorities have serious questions to answer. At best HMRC suffered a serious lapse of judgement, at worst they allowed HSBC and its wealthy customers to play by different rules to the rest of us.

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/22/hsbc-uk-criminal-charges-former-public-prosecutor-hmrc

So it seems that these fat cats have been having more than just a few 'meal deals'! They've had a veritable banquet.

By now, I felt quite exhausted by all this chicanery! But I read one more article. This was by Jill Treanor and Sean Farrell which had the headline:

HSBC boss says bank shamed by Swiss tax avoidance

Treanor and Farrell wrote:

The bosses of HSBC have admitted they were shamed and humbled by the tax avoidance activities of the group’s Swiss banking arm as the bank revealed its chief executive, Stuart Gulliver, received £7.6m in pay and bonuses last year.

Gulliver, speaking for the first time since the Guardian and other news outlets published a series of revelations about HSBC’s Swiss operations, offered his “sincerest apologies” but was defiant about the account he had with the bank in Geneva which sheltered millions of pounds in a Swiss account through a Panamanian company. The 55-year-old who became chief executive in 2011, was born in Britain but is tax domiciled in Hong Kong, where the bank has major operations.

Oh, dearie me! So how does he get out of this 'fine mess'? Well, read on:

“I would say that a number of us, myself included, think that the practices at the Swiss private bank in the past are a source of shame and reputational damage to HSBC. Yes, I think shame is an appropriate noun,” said Gulliver.

“One of the largest impacts has been on morale inside HSBC. All of us are subject to scrutiny from our families, our friends and people we meet generally in our everyday lives. It makes people embarrassed at HSBC and concerned,” he added.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/feb/23/hsbc-chief-paid-7m-pounds-last-year-profits-slide-tax-avoidance-apology

Arturo reminded me about Jonathan Swift's satirical novel 'Gulliver's Travels' in which a man called Lemuel Gulliver travels to various fictitious lands where bizarre events occur. Wonder whether that's been the problem for Mr Stuart Gulliver of HSBC residing too long in strange lands with people who have even stranger customs!

Arturo and I were drooling at the prospects of fat cats gobbling up cash - it's not cash we were after - it was the smell of steamed cod wafting downstairs from the flat upstairs!

Bye

Money! Money! Money! at No.10

Arturo was mumbling a tune to himself. It took me some time before I recognised it! Abba! Then I found myself singing along:

Money, money, money

Must be funny

In the rich man's world

It's a catchy number, you'll agree.

"So - mi old pal, what do you think? Is it always 'funny' in 'the rich man's world'?" Arturo asked me.

"A fair bit of dosh goes a way to relieving the pains of life!" I replied.

"It stirs the pot nicely in the political world too. In fact it's stirred up quite a storm. I've enjoyed myself enormously!" Arturo grinned pointing at various laptop screens.

To be sure this week has concentrated on 'the rich man's world'. It all started with The Observer on Sunday 8 February. David Leigh, James Ball, Juliette Garside and David Pegg wrote

Part 1 The Leak:

HSBC’s Swiss banking arm helped wealthy customers dodge taxes and conceal millions of dollars of assets, doling out bundles of untraceable cash and advising clients on how to circumvent domestic tax authorities, according to a huge cache of leaked secret bank account files.

The files – obtained through an international collaboration of news outlets, including the Guardian, the French daily Le Monde, BBC Panorama and the Washington-based International Consortium of Investigative Journalists – reveal that HSBC’s Swiss private bank:

• Routinely allowed clients to withdraw bricks of cash, often in foreign currencies of little use in Switzerland.

• Aggressively marketed schemes likely to enable wealthy clients to avoid European taxes.

• Colluded with some clients to conceal undeclared “black” accounts from their domestic tax authorities.

• Provided accounts to international criminals, corrupt businessmen and other high-risk individuals.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2015/feb/08/hsbc-files-expose-swiss-bank-clients-dodge-taxes-hide-millions?CMP=share_btn_tw

Names, facts, figures and accusations are all there for you to read! And they sure are startling! And worrying not just for those named and Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs but also for our politicians.

The Guardian continued the story, written by the same intrepid journalists:

Part 2 The cash machine

Part 3 The tax vehicle

Part 4 The political donors

Part 5 The unsavoury clients

All splendid stuff that had Arturo salivating with delight! The BBC Panorama programme on the same story had the heading:

Panorama - The Bank of Tax Cheats - Panorama Reporter Richard Bilton reveals how Britain's biggest bank helped some of its wealthiest customers dodge tax and asks why these tax evaders have not been prosecuted.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b052sk1h/panorama-the-bank-of-tax-cheats-panorama

And Richard Bilton certainly didn't pull his punches either! Watch it on the BBC i-player.

The upshot of all this was accusation, accusation, accusation! It culminated in the furore that is PMQs during which Ed 'Hello Gromit' Miliband used his opening question to draw attention to all the shenanigans that had been flying round. He commented that only an hour earlier, a story had come out linking the HSBC tax avoidance scandal with several Tory party donors. He said that these donors had between them given the Tory party nearly £5 million.

In his response, 'Boy David' Cameron attempted to justify himself and his party.

Several exchanges later Ed 'Hello Gromit' Miliband said:

The Prime Minister cannot get away from it: he is a dodgy Prime Minister surrounded by dodgy donors...

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201415/cmhansrd/cm150211/debtext/150211-0001.htm#15021185000005

Ah me! Ah my! What a can of worms has been opened! Needless to say, we are relishing the situation. Now, we discover that Hush-Puppy Man - Ken Clarke has emerged from his cigar-smoke-filled-bunker and gave an interview to The Observer's Daniel Boffey: who wrote:

The Conservatives have been rocked in the past week by a potentially toxic combination of allegations of tax evasion by clients of the HSBC bank, whose chairman, Lord Green, became a Tory minister; tax avoidance by party donors; and leaked details of the secretive black and white fundraising ball.

Boffey went on to quote from Hush-Puppy Man - Ken Clarke:

“The solution is for the party leaders to get together to agree, put on their tin hats and move to a more sensible and ultimately more defensible system.”

http://www.theguardian.com/politics/2015/feb/14/ken-clarke-tory-party-shun-wealthy-donors

Tin hats, eh? Don't like the sound of that!

Margaret 'Flog 'em' Hodge, that stalwart defender of ethical financial propriety, chairs the Parliamentary Public Accounts Committee. This week, she was interrogating senior officials from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs about the HSBC tax evasion story. After listening to some of the responses, she exclaimed:

“I can’t begin for the LIFE of me to understand that pathetic response, quite frankly!” she snapped. And: “Honestly, I want to put a BOMB under you guys!” And: “Are you telling me to BELIEVE that?”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/11406838/Sketch-I-want-to-put-a-BOMB-under-you-guys-Margaret-Hodge-batters-HMRC-over-tax-evasion-claims.html

As Arturo would say: "Yum! Yum! Things are getting juicy!"

Tonight, Arturo's pal, Toscanini, who lives in the basement of the Grosvenor House Hotel in Park Lane has invited us round for a bit of nosh! He told us that lots of grub had been left over after the Tory Black and White Ball. It seems the Ball had been held there specifically to raise funds for the Tory party. Toscanini said that people were willing to pay thousands of pounds to sit next to a Minister - any Minister!!! They were so engrossed they didn't eat up their caviar and anchovies! So much the better for us! Yum! Yum!

Bye