Cats Out of Hell Rule OK at No.10

Cats here! Cats there! Cats everywhere! Arturo was in seventh heaven - and so was I. For once, cats have their place within the UK media. Yesterday and today - there are ginger toms in all the best papers. Let me explain.

The Independent put the 'cat among the pigeons' - if that isn't too indelicate a phrase to use - in their columns about Jock V1. Who's Jock, do you ask? Well take a look at this:

Winston Churchill's home gets new rescue cat called Jock VI

Kasmira Gander wrote:

Now, almost 50 years after Churchill died, a new kitten has moved into the ex-Prime Minister’ former country home to honour a request made by him and his family.

The cat was named after one of Churchill’s private secretaries, Sir John “Jock” Colville, who gave the former statesman the pet for his 88th birthday in 1962.

Jock was so dear to Churchill and his family that they asked that a marmalade-coloured cat named Jock with a white bib and four white socks would always live at Chartwell, Kent.

See how some people admire their cats! 'Boy David' Cameron and 'Georgy' Osborne - take note!

The article went on

Previously known as Malley, Jock IV was rescued by Croydon Animal Samaritans before being adopted by Chartwell's house and collections manager, Katherine Barnett.

Trust officials said he takes afternoon naps, eats tuna and lounges on Persian rugs at Chartwell, which has a green cat-flap approved by an historic buildings inspector.

Ms Barnett said: "Jock VI has had a difficult start to his life, but as the saying goes, a cat will always land on its feet. I'm delighted with Jock.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/winston-churchills-home-gets-new-rescue-cat-called-jock-vi-9182404.html

So - Jock VI takes afternoon naps, eats tuna and lounges on Persian rugs! I ask you! Where did I go wrong in one of my nine lives? Never had anything like that - nor has poor old Arturo!

Then more publicity! In 'The Telegraph, more about this fortunate moggy, written by no less than Matthew Holehouse, Political Correspondent!

The cat was so dear to the former Prime Minister that it was rumoured that meals would not start until Jock was at the table.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/history/10688068/Churchills-wish-upheld-as-new-cat-welcomed-to-Chartwell.html

Can you imagine that! The cat was so dear to Winston Churchill! And here are me and Arturo struggling in the cellars of Nos 10 and 11 to catch rats to keep body and soul alive! It tears at your heart-strings, doesn't it?

Cats were also in the news about their place in Government in 'The Independent'. In an article by Felicity Morse

An army of cats are poised to descend on Westminster to help rid Parliament of vermin.

Battersea Cats and Dogs Home have drawn up a list of their top mousers that could help solve Parliament's pest problem after yet another MP complained about mice. However a spokesperson told The Independent that they as many as 160 cats available

For those who work in Parliament, sightings of mouse colonies are common and MPs have reported mounds of droppings as well as nibbled corners on official documents.

The article went on to discuss the relative merits of Larry - Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office and Freya, who is George Osborne's cat. Can you credit the wording 'Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office'!!!

More was to follow - not only are 160 cats to descend on Westminster - without a mention of Arturo or me - but the word is that :

With troubles at the top, it is perhaps only a matter of time before there will be a new set of whiskers prowling the green benches. Battersea has suggested three possible candidates: Jill, Finn and Bloom.

According to Battersea, three-year-old Jill “hopes to tackle mouse immigration” while four-year-old Finn “would like to promote equal rights for cats and dogs in the long standing debate for equality.” Bloom, the baby of the bunch, is a one-year-old and “has been sharpening her claws on global economic policies ready to show just how it’s done.” It is not clear how their "policies" were ascertained.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/cats-poised-to-descend-on-parliament-to-help-rid-westminster-of-vermin-9090838.html?origin=internalSearch

We trust that Cameron, Osborne, Hague and Hunt etc etc are forewarned of what might be let loose on them!! They should listen to 'Cat Out of Hell' by Lynne Truss on BBC Radio 4. Chilling! You can't imagine! But as Tom Cox says of the novel, in The Guardian

Lynne Truss's new novel does nothing to quell the fears of those who believe that all felines are plotting our downfall.

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/mar/06/cat-out-of-hell-lynne-truss

Cameron et al - be afraid - be very afraid! You know not what lurks below the stairs! Us felines could easily get our bums on your seats. We might even do a better job than you've been doing!

After so much catty attention, me and my buddy, Arturo, are off to find some 'tuna' and a Persian rug! Why should a kitten have all the fun?

'Bye'

Schlubs come in the front door at No.10

"Well the schlubs are here in Downing Street!" Arturo said gleefully.

"What exactly are schlubs?" I asked. I knew full well that Arturo had spent sometime perusing the Oxford English Dictionary. I knew he was about to regale me with the definition.

"For your education, my dear old pal. A schlub is: a talentless, unattractive, or boorish person. You'll find the definition on the web at http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/schlub." He looked exceedingly pleased with himself at this display of technological nous!

He'd obviously been reading The Observer article by Will Hutton headlined:

The public sector isn't perfect but at least it doesn't fleece us

In the article, Hutton comments on the way people and the media seem to be ignoring the way the bankers, engineering contractors, service companies, amongst other Private Sector entities, are behaving. At the same time, the media is full of stories castigating the Public Sector. He writes:

Lloyds Bank casually announced last week that it was setting aside another £1.8bn to meet potential claims from customers after knowingly selling them expensive insurance policies they could not need nor use. The grand total of provisions it has made is now nearly £10bn for claims from up to 700,000 people – a stunning indictment of its business practices.

Hutton continued:

Lloyds is not alone: the other banks have earmarked another £10bn for mis-selling similar products. Their investment bank arms are engulfed with charges of colluding to rig interest rates and foreign exchange markets on a global scale, along with more record-breaking fines. Meanwhile, the average customer's experience remains dismal.

Not a pretty situation - as Arturo would say 'they sound like a right load of schlubs!'

Hutton's article proceeded to show the 'disgraceful behaviour' of Bombardier. He went on to highlight:

Then there are Serco and G4S, with their litany of failures as holders of government contracts. The root of their difficulties is, whatever their original virtues, both have built a culture in which exploiting, rather than serving, the customer comes first – whether it's Serco charging the state for electronically tagging prisoners who did not exist or G4S woefully underproviding security guards for the Olympics. The same dynamic – transient, greedy owners and pay systems that over-reward short-term financial success and cutting corners – produces the same result.

Another cartload of schlubs!

Hutton then berated the proposals for the Probation Service:

Now large parts of the probation service are to be run in the same way by the same kind of company, with the justice secretary, Chris Grayling, absurdly promising more " reform" and "efficiency".

His final section commented on the Public Sector:

The public sector is imperfect: it is run and operated by fallible human beings. There are spectacular failings, ranging from the BBC's wasted £100m on its digital media initiative to the unfolding IT disaster over universal credit. But what it does not deserve is universal castigation because a priori it must be useless. It is accountable. It does not loot its users. It is pretty efficient. It is humane.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/feb/08/britain-private-sector-public-sector-ethics-customers

On 18 February, BBC Radio 4's 'File on Four' had a programme entitled 'Repeat Offenders'. It commented:

Probation staff are currently being told where they will be working under a radical reform of the service. The government is transferring the management of low and medium risk offenders to private companies and high risk cases will be handled by a national probation service.

The Justice Secretary, Chris Grayling, says the reforms are necessary to cut reoffending rates and save money which will be ploughed back into providing support to all prisoners who have served less than 12 months.

But opponents claim the reforms are being rushed in and will put the public at risk.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03vf0f7

There was hardly a single person, on the programme, who thought that the proposed new regime whereby

new private providers will only be paid in full if they achieve a reduction in reoffending

could possibly work.

The Government has put back the start date to these probation service changes from May till July! Big deal! They are just postponing the inevitable disintegration of a once valued Public Service. Meanwhile, well qualified and experienced Probation Officers are leaving their jobs in droves. Who will replace them? If the fiasco of G4S and the Olympics is repeated - then heaven help both released prisoners and the general public.

Remember the Care Homes travesty a couple of years ago? Most of them had been handed over to the Private Sector but were in such financial difficulty and had been so badly managed that several homes were forced to close. It was the public sector that had to step in to try to find homes for many of the elderly residents who had nowhere to go. Remind you of the banking fiasco, does it?

In 2011 Jeff Taylor writing in 'The Economic Voice' said:

The number of care homes that have gone bust is more than double the number of last year’s says a top accountancy firm.

Over the 12 months to September 30th 2011 73 care homes went bankrupt compared to the previous year’s 35, which equates to a 109% increase says the Top 21 accountancy company Wilkins Kennedy.

Local authority cutbacks, says Wilkins Kennedy, is putting pressure on care homes struggling with high debt and increasing rental obligations.

Partner at Wilkins Kennedy, Restructuring & Recovery, Anthony Cork, said “The care sector has gone through a long period of expansion during the boom years with many companies taking on large debts to fund growth. This worked fine as long as local Government funding kept increasing, but with the recession and the cutbacks that ensued, many care homes found themselves unable to service their debts. In a growing economy, they could have sold their property assets for redevelopment to reduce their debt levels, but this wasn’t an option because there are no buyers in the current market.”

Some care homes went into sale and leaseback deals so as to free up money for expansion schemes. But now they are faced with having no property and guaranteed annual rent increases, which are above market rates in this depressed property environment.

http://www.economicvoice.com/care-homes-under-pressure-and-going-bankrupt/50025685/

It was a litany to make even a rampant capitalist weep! They've privatised water! They've privatised energy! They've privatised almost anything and everything that was once considered an asset for the people of this country. What next, one wonders?

Schlubs at the door or not, Arturo and I are going out for a stroll in Downing Street! We saw a couple of rats running through both No.10 and No 11. They'll make a tasty snack, if we can catch them!

Bye

Let's get dredging at No.10

"So," Arturo said, "it seems that 'dredging' is now the flavour of the month!" He indicated the screen of his new iPad.

There I read the headline:

David Cameron vows to start dredging rivers to tackle flooding crisis in the Somerset Levels

The article in The Mirror was written by Tom McTague. He went on to quote from 'Boy David' Cameron's answers to questions in the House of Commons:

Mr Cameron said: “We now need to move more rapidly to the issues like dredging which I think will help to make a long-term difference.

“It is not currently safe to dredge in the Levels.

“But I can confirm that dredging will start as soon as it is practical, as soon as the waters have started to come down.” ... “We are urgently exploring what further help the Government can give local residents to move around and I rule nothing out in the days ahead to get this problem sorted.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/somerset-levels-flooding-david-cameron-3091207#ixzz2squEk2LD

"Funny that!" Arturo said. "Not so long ago, 'Boy David' Cameron was saying that Environment Secretary, Owen Patterson,'was doing an “excellent job”'. Our PM certainly likes to keep the right side of public opinion. He'd jump through hoops of fire if he thought it would give him good press. He's not forgotten his days as a PR man!"

Of course, Arturo is right! The Somerset Levels were far from Cameron's mind 18 months ago according to Simon Wright in The Mirror:

A furious farmer who predicted the floods SIX MONTHS ago has told how the Prime Minister snubbed his pleas for help dredging neglected rivers.

Edwin White, 73, wrote to David Cameron warning of the disaster as long ago as August, and begging for a government to match a self-help fund raised by villagers to clear the waterways in the Somerset Levels.

The PM failed to respond, passing it on to then floods minister Richard Benyon – who dismissed the idea.

Last night Mr White from Wells in swamped Somerset said: “It was a disaster waiting to happen and I told Mr Cameron so.

“I know the rivers and how they’ve been neglected over the years. It makes my blood boil now to see the misery that has been caused.

“It’s also hugely frustrating to think of how much it will now cost the whole country to clear up.”

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/farmer-warned-david-cameron-floods-3127229#ixzz2srF07uMs

Oh dear! That's something our 'Boy David' Cameron would like to forget 'failed to respond', did he?

Now, however, he's putting some real weight behind the problem. Never one to do things by halves, this time he's looked around and come up with an answer to his PR woes. And what is this, do I hear you ask? Well ... the answer lies in the form of one 'Bagpuss' Pickles - no less!

Communities Secretary, Eric 'Bagpuss' Pickles has stepped up! Since Patterson was by now on sick leave, there was a vacuum at the core of Government Policy on flooding. To fill that vacuum - as only one man could - 'Bagpuss' Pickles casting caution to the wind said:

"We made a mistake, there's no doubt about that and we perhaps relied too much on the Environment Agency's advice," Mr Pickles told BBC1's Andrew Marr Show. "We recognise that we should have dredged and I think it is important now that we get on the process of getting those people back into their houses once we are able to really do some serious pumping."

That was reported in Antonia Molloy's article in The Independent under the headline:

Eric Pickles: Government made 'mistake' in taking the advice of the Environment Agency

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/eric-pickles-government-made-mistake-in-taking-the-advice-of-the-environment-agency-9117340.html>

Meanwhile, Cameron is chairing COBRA! Personally, I never had him down for a snake charmer! In fact, I never had him down as any sort of charmer! Shows how wrong one can be!

Arturo and me got fed up with all this talk of dredging. So we're going out to have a real good helping of Mississippi Mud Pie!!

Tasty lookin'! Sure is!

'Bye from Arturo and me!

Clegg's 'Fine Mess' ... @ No. 10

"That 'Wailing Lad' Clegg chap, the one who looks as if he's found 10p but lost a quid - you know what I mean about his face?" I nodded to Arturo, fearing to interrupt the flow of thoughts "He couldn't organise a childrens' party in a playground! Is there one single thing that he's ever got right?" Foolishly I nodded again, instead of shaking my head. Arturo pounced. "So what was there?"

"I meant - I agree with you."

"I should jolly well hope so!" Arturo shoved the latest newspapers in front of my nose. "Take a gander at those, if you need convincing. Then cast your mind back to the various travesties last year and the year before."

I decided to start at the beginning. You may recall that one of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg's election promises was that he did not want student tuition fees to be increased. In a 2009 interview with Salman Shaheen in The Third Estate, Clegg is quoted as saying

One of the party’s most popular policies amongst students of all backgrounds has been its opposition to tuition fees. “I believe tuition fees are wrong, I believe they need to be abolished,”

http://thethirdestate.net/2009/10/an-interview-with-nick-clegg/

Yet in 2012, Iain Martin, felt obliged to write in the Telegraph commented

Nick Clegg's apology cannot excuse his contemptible conduct on student tuition fees

Martin went on to say:

Nick Clegg has apologised for the Lib Dems. Sorry, no he hasn't. The Deputy Prime Minister has restricted his apology to the question of the Lib Dems making a promise not to raise tuition fees, which they then broke. You may remember that this pledge was one of the twin pillars on which the party's general election 2010 effort was built. The other was Clegg's sanctimonious observation that it was "time to say goodbye to broken promises".

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/iainmartin1/100181903/nick-cleggs-apology-cannot-excuse-his-contemptible-conduct-on-student-tuition-fees/

So - Cleggo was already in deep trouble for hypocrisy and cant as far back as 2012.

The picture did not and still does not get any better! Remember the Health and Social Care Bill furore, also in 2012? Well - you should! The LibDems under the leadership (leadership????) of 'Wailing Lad' Clegg covered themselves in muck - to put it politely - over the NHS.

There were many rank and file LibDems who were opposed to the Bill put forward by 'Silver Fox' Lansley. They tried to get a debate on the issue at the LibDem Conference. Laura Donnelly writing in the Telegraph stated:

Campaigners against the NHS changes won enough support to have their "kill the Bill" emergency motion debated on Sunday at the party's spring conference in Gateshead.

But, under the party's alternative vote system, the attempt failed on second preferences.

The article went on:

Speaking before the vote on Saturday, leader Nick Clegg ... said: "I think there is a big gap between what people think the Bill is going to do and what it actually says, I think when people actually see that they will be quite comforted."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/liberaldemocrats/9135890/Liberal-Democrats-reject-vote-on-NHS-reforms.html

'Comfort' is not exactly the word that the 'Kill the Bill' LibDem supporters felt at the time. Many rank and file members saw the Bill as the beginning of the privatisation of the NHS and were desperate to get the Party to debate the issue. Now they feel considerably discomforted - to put it mildly. All their worst fears have been realised.

2014 is not starting out well for the NHS and its supporters will not easily forgive the LibDems for their part in pushing through the Health & Social Care Bill. The NHS Support Federation stated:

Private firms win 70% of NHS contracts The NHS Support Federation analysed contracts for clinical services awarded between April and December 2013 and found that 70% of them were awarded to private firms. This is not surprising. The NHS is not in the business of contract winning, it's a publicly-run universal healthcare system...or perhaps was intended to be! It isn't skilled at marketing, that would be a waste of money. CCG's are now presented with slick presentations by commercial organisations making wonderful promises keen to get their hands on NHS funds; it's now a competitive market.

http://www.nhscampaign.org/news-and-views.html

In January 2014, Charlie Cooper in the Independent wrote:

The NHS Support Federation, which campaigns against the marketisation of healthcare in the UK, claimed that, from a sample of 57 NHS contracts awarded between April and December 2013, more than two thirds had gone to the private sector – at a total value of £450m.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/two-thirds-of-contracts-for-nhs-services-in-england-awarded-in-the-last-eight-months-have-gone-to-the-private-sector-9062353.html

Any remaining 'Kill the Bill' LibDem supporters will be tearing their hair out, Mr Clegg!! Will you be posting another discordant I'm Sorry video on YouTube? If not - why not? Maybe you should also try putting on sack-cloth and sprinkle a few ashes on your head at the same time. Much of this is YOUR fault, Mr Clegg.

Now yet another 'fine old mess' for 'Wailing Lad' Clegg. Maybe, quite soon, he won't have a LibDem party to lead. That is if one 'Brer' Rennard isn't allowed to step aside from the limelight! It has emerged, that despite being found not culpable of sexual harrassment, there are some LibDems who want an apology from him to the women concerned. Bright boy Cleggo - ever the insightful creature with a nose for the politically possible (note the irony, please) has called for such an apology before 'Brer' Rennard sets foot again on the LibDem benches, in the jolly old House of Lords! Now that is a hostage to fortune since 'Brer' Rennard's influential friends have advised him not to apologise.

Steven Swinford and Georgia Graham on 16 January in the Telegraph wrote:

Nick Clegg should “man up” and take action over evidence of sexual misconduct by a senior Liberal Democrat peer, one of his alleged victims has said, as the Lib Dem leader was warned he faces a revolt from female party activists.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/nick-clegg/10578349/Nick-Clegg-should-man-up-over-sex-row-says-peers-victim-Susan-Gaszczak.html

The Independent's Oliver Wright, also in January 2014, wrote:

The Liberal Democrats’ calamitous handling of the Lord Rennard sexual harassment allegations looks set to be arbitrated by the courts after the peer’s supporters indicated he would if necessary take legal action to retain his position in the House of Lords.

On Friday, under huge internal pressure, Nick Clegg announced he would instruct the party in the Lords to remove the whip from Lord Rennard unless he apologised for alleged inappropriate behaviour towards female party members.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/lord-rennard-will-sue-party-if-lib-dems-withdraw-whip-over-sexual-harassment-allegations-9070664.html

No wonder 'Wailing Lad' Clegg looks so miserable. He must have eaten Eton Mess for lunch. One wonders what further calamity the coming days and weeks will bring to his door? How 'Boy David' Cameron must be laughing up his sleeve! And - it's still only January!

Just saw Arturo peering out of the window to get a good view of Downing Street. If the coast is clear we're having a Chinese tonight. Yum Yum!

Bye

'Lola' at No 11 causes panic at No 10

"I don't believe it!" Arturo almost screeched! "Look out the back window, Butch!"

So I did just that - looked out of the window. What did I see, you ask? I saw what looked like a white powder-puff on four legs prancing across the lawn. It wasn't a cat! It was a dog! At least, I think it was a dog! Then, stalking the powder-puff, I noticed the dreaded Freya, 'Georgy' Osborne's fearsome cat! She's the one who boxed poor old Larry, from upstairs, right on the nose!

"Just take a look at the 'Daily Mail' - there's some fine pictures of old Larry being knocked for six by Freya." Arturo was in full flow now. "But - to crown it all, mi old pal, there's really 'orrible news. Take a look." With that he thrust his i-pad mini in front of my eyes. I read:

Making eyes at the camera – and crying out for a cuddle – meet Chancellor George Osborne’s adorable new puppy Lola.

She may think her cute looks and fluffy hair make her top dog in Downing Street – but she’s going to have to toughen up.

Just ask David Cameron’s cat Larry.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2516467/Lola-No-11s-new-dog-handle-feisty-Freya--Osborne-tweets-picture-Downing-Streets-latest-legged-resident.html

A dog in Downing Street, I ask you! Where does 'Georgy' Osborne think he is - the White House? Dogs are a US President thing not a UK Chancellor of the Exchequer thing!!

Of course, having a dog about the house will give our Georgy all the excuses he needs for getting his figures in a twist. James Kirkup writing in The Telegraph, last week, stated:

Osborne 'used questionable statistics' to back up claim households are better off: Chancellor used "strange" figures for disposable income in his Autumn Statement this week, the Institute for Fiscal Studies says

The article went on:

In his Commons statement, Mr Osborne cited official figures for disposable income, the sum families have left after paying essential bills. The number is forecast to rise modestly, going up by 0.5 per cent this year and 1.1 per cent next year.

“Yes, real household disposable income is rising,” Mr Osborne told MPs.

No wonder Georgy was grinning when he spoke in the House of Commons. No wonder the Tory backbenchers cheered! But - hang on a bit - James Kirkup went on to write:

Paul Johnson of the IFS raised questions about Mr Osborne’s use of the disposable income figure.

“It tells us something about household incomes but it should certainly not be used in isolation to measure how they are changing,” he said.

There is “something a little bit strange” about Mr Osborne’s choice of statistic, the think tank suggested.

So there's “something a little bit strange” going on in No 11! Well - I could have told you that! So, it seems, could a Labour MP. In the same article Kirkup quoted this MP:

Andy Love, a Labour member of the Treasury Select Committee, said that Mr Osborne would have to account for his use of the disposable income figure when he appears before the committee to discuss the Autumn Statement.

He said: “There are questions over the accuracy of the Autumn Statement on this issue of living standards. The Chancellor has to be very careful about his use of statistics, since figures like this can easily be misused for political purposes.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/10501097/Osborne-used-questionable-statistics-to-back-up-claim-households-are-better-off.html

Hey Ho! What a merry life - that is if you're not working on zero hours contracts or having to go to the food-bank to feed the kids! But not to worry, aye! Lola, the Bichon Frise, will bring a new reality to Georgy's life. It seems that already she's causing problems on the toilet-training front! Now that is something no self-respecting cat would ever have!

Arturo and me are going to have a sniff round the cupboards in No 11 - puppy food can be quite tasty!

'Bye'

Voodoo Economics at No. 10

"Do you remember that Carswell chap? The one who commented about “Mickey Mouse IOUs”, last year?" Arturo asked. I shook my head. "Well, he'd be having a field day now. Let me remind you what he said last year." He ferreted round under one of the desks and shoved 'The Mirror' in front of me.

Serious voodoo economics": George Osborne slammed by Tory colleague for "Mickey Mouse IOUs" to meet debt targets

The headline was big and bold, the story had been written by Tom McTague on 10 Nov 2012. I was intrigued and so I read on:

Douglas Carswell said the Chancellor must be desperate after shifting £35billion out of the Bank of England’s quantitative easing scheme into Treasury coffers. He added: “When one part of the state is printing funny money and lending it to another part of the state, we’re into serious voodoo economics.

"It’s past being ludicrous.

“It’s essentially a three-card trick with our money and it’s not going to end well.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/george-osborne-slammed-by-conservative-colleague-1428206l

Arturo eyed me closely. "So! What must this Carswell be thinking now?" He asked. "In the past few days, No 10 has been issuing unbelievable contradictory statements. Osborne's 'three-card trick' has got nothing on what 'Boy David' Cameron's pretending to have up his sleeve!"

Arturo is right. There have been shenanigans 'aplenty in these parts. Just take a look at what Jeff Randall wrote in The Telegraph:

Help to Buy is nothing but an election ploy

In commenting on recent events in the world of banking, Randall referred to "inappropriate adult material" and he continued:

... the offending content, known to some as “property porn”, can be ogled on the government’s Help to Buy (HTB) website. The HTB scheme is designed, it seems, almost entirely to please those with a prurient interest in house-price bubbles: builders, estate agents and local solicitors. It is nothing more than populist, short-term electioneering posing as a cure for Britain’s chronic, long-term housing headache.

'Property porn'? It sounds to me as though 'builders, estate agents and local solicitors' are beginning to sink as low as bankers in the poll of public opinion! They'll soon be plummeting the depths reached by Osborne and Cameron!

Randall continued:

Buyers are able to tap state-funded assistance up to a value of £600,000. This is emergency aid for the huddled masses of Kensington and Chelsea. When property prices are rising and real wages (inflation-adjusted) are falling, as they are, only the suspension of disbelief will bridge an ever-widening gap. HTB may well help to buy votes, but it will end in tears.

...HTB is fiscal chicanery that prompts irrational behaviour by making the unaffordable appear within reach. In the short run, it rewards the Treasury with a bonanza of stamp duty payments. But how much of those receipts will be lost when the taxpayer is called upon to bail out delinquent mortgages?

...Handing out funny money to bid up prices is simply weasel economics.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/constructionandproperty/10471564/Help-to-Buy-is-nothing-but-an-election-ploy.html

That sure is telling 'em, Jeff! But will those pig-headed buffoons in Nos 10 & 11 Downing Street listen? That's what Arturo and me want to know? Now there is a man in the City, one Canadian by the name of Carney who after a somewhat embarrassing grilling at the Treasury Select Committee admitted:

... he is "more than mildly offended" after being criticised by Labour MP John Mann that he is too close to the Chancellor, George Osborne. Mr Carney was being quizzed by the Treasury Select Committee on the November 2013 Inflation Report. ITN

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/mark-carney-more-mildly-offended-175229943.html

Guess what? A few days later, this same Carney bloke announced:

The Bank of England has moved swiftly and unexpectedly to puncture a new housing bubble, as it diluted a joint programme with the Treasury which has been boosting mortgage lending.

The Bank has announced that the so-called Funding for Lending Scheme (FLS), which has helped to drive the UK’s recovery, will no longer cover new housing loans extended by banks from next year.

This was from an aricle by Ben Chu in The Independent under the headline

Bank of England curtails Funding for Lending Scheme amid fears of housing bubble

Ben Chu wrote:

Until this week the Bank had seemed relatively relaxed about the state of the housing market in recent weeks, with senior officials repeatedly pointing out that the monthly rate of new mortgage approvals was still low by historical standards.

But Threadneedle Street abruptly changed its tune.

“Risks to financial stability may grow if there are further substantial and rapid increases in house prices and a further build-up of household indebtedness” said the Governor, Mark Carney, at a press conference. He added: “It is no longer appropriate to have our foot on the accelerator”.

So, he 'abruptly changed his tune', did he? Well done, Treasury Select Committee!

Ben Chu's article also commented:

Yet the government has come under fire from economists for its separate Help to Buy programme, which, from last month, provides a state guarantee for 15 per cent of new mortgages extended by banks. Critics have likened Help to Buy (which will be unaffected by today’s changes) to the institutional American government mortgage subsidy infrastructure, known as Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which helped to blow up the US housing bubble that burst with catastrophic consequences for the global economy in 2008.

Ministers have claimed at various times that the Bank of England can cancel Help to Buy. But the central bank confirmed earlier this week that it merely has the power to make recommendations to the Treasury over the scheme rather than a right of veto. Today, Mr Carney said it was “still early days” for the controversial programme.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/bank-of-england-curtails-funding-for-lending-scheme-amid-fears-of-housing-bubble-8970619.html

While 'Funding for Lending' is out of favour - 'Help To Buy' is not quite the flavour of the month it once was! One wonders what scam they'll think up next!

It seems that personal debt in the UK is at an all time high. Jerin Matthew wrote in International Business Times:

UK Personal Debt Almost Equivalent to 2012 GDP Amid Cost of Living Crisis

The article stated:

Personal debt in the UK is nearing an all-time high as Britons increase their borrowing to meet rising living costs amid low wage growth and high inflation.

A study by the Centre for Social Justice (CSJ) revealed that total personal debt in the UK has risen to £1.4tn ($2.26tn, €1.67tn), with average household debt standing at £54,000 - about twice the level seen a decade ago.

UK households currently owe the equivalent of 94% of the country's economic output in 2012.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/523694/20131120/uk-personal-debt-centre-social-justice.htm

What country can remain solvent under such conditions? Surely it's reckless nonsense to encourage people to take on more debt! Some time, in the not to distant future, interest rates will go up and when they do .... THE BUBBLE WILL BURST!

Talking of bubbles - me and Arturo are going to mosey on down to a fast food place tonight - the aroma of fried chicken is most enticing - and we're NOT borrowing money to get some. No siree, Pablo the black cat from Whitehall is treating us! 'Bye'

Incentivisation rules at No. 10

Arturo looked positively furious as he whisked his tail and hissed: "Bankers have to be incentivised - the rest of us have to get on with it! It's sheer blooming cheek, that's what it is!" He peered at me closely: "What incentives do you need, Butch mi old pal, to encourage you to catch more rats?"

I didn't answer his question, knowing full well he would give me a lecture. But, as usual, Arturo is right! Bankers must have their million pound bonuses or else, so we're told, they'll flee the country and take their expertise elsewhere! Having seen the results of their great expertise, I'd say 'good riddance', who needs them, take your expertise to North Korea and good luck to North Korea!

Meanwhile back in the jolly old United Kingdom - which is very far from being united, there's plenty of trouble afoot for those lacking proper incentives. Remember our revered Secretary of State for Health, one Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt? He's been reading up on the classics and having decided to destroy the tender shoots of the NHS, he's first driving NHS staff mad! Quite a formula, I'm sure you'll agree. By the time of the next election, the NHS will not be recognisable - it's not even recognisable now!

Denis Campbell and James Meikle writing in The Guardian commented on Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt and his policy to deal more effectively with patient safety issues:

Hunt said that if a hospital was not open with patients and their families following a patient safety incident, its indemnity cover – which is key to its functioning – could be reduced or removed. That would give hospitals "a strong financial incentive to be open about patient safety incidents", he said.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/nov/19/hospitals-mistakes-jeremy-hunt

Obviously, everyone wants the very best care for patients but threatening their indemnity cover costs! Hardly the subtle move of someone intending to help the NHS, is it? Since, as Campbell and Meikle state:

Medical negligence currently costs the NHS about £1.2bn a year in damages and costs. NHS hospitals in England pay fees to the NHS Litigation Authority, which handles lawsuits against them and negotiates settlements.

Chris Hopson, chief executive of The Foundation Trust Network was quoted in the same article as saying that

Hunt's proposals were too negative about hospitals and their performance. ... they did not reflect the balance recommended by Francis between learning and openness one hand and blame and recrimination on the other.

"We seem to be focusing more and more on NHS failure, actual, perceived and feared rather than NHS success," said Hopson. Given the Commonwealth Fund's positive assessment of the NHS last week , he said: "We owe it to the public and NHS staff to strike a better balance in the summary judgments we reach on the success of the NHS and how these are reported."

And that's the gist of it, friends, our Gormless one isn't intending to incentivise the NHS staff by giving the nurses a decent living wage. No, siree, they can survive on well below £30,000 after several years of training and experience! Not likely to provide them with decent living accommodation, is it?

And what about our precious bankers who need to be incentivised to stay in the UK? Reuters stated

The majority of Britain's financial services workers expect to receive a bonus this year and 58 percent expect the payout to be bigger than the year before, new research showed on Wednesday.

Almost a third of UK financial services workers see their 2013 bonuses growing by between 11 and 30 percent, while 35 percent predict an increase of up to 10 percent, according to a survey by financial recruitment site eFinancialCareers.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2013/10/23/uk-britain-bankerbonuses-idUKLNE99M00220131023

Jill Treanor wrote under the following headline in The Guardian

Lloyds boss likely to get £2.3m bonus: António Horta-Osório's payout will occur if Lloyd's shares close above 73.6p on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week

Now that's what Arturo and I would call an 'incentive'!

The article continued:

The bank made a loss in the third quarter of 2013 of £440m, largely because of a surprise £750m provision for PPI mis-selling, which took the total bill for Lloyds to more than £8bn.

http://www.theguardian.com/business/2013/nov/15/lloyds-boss-million-bonus-antonio-horta-osorio

Maybe our Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt could think about things and instead of driving NHS staff round the twist - maybe he could think of providing frontline staff with a real incentive - show that he really cares about their morale. Just think of it - if NHS staff left the country to get better conditions in another country - just like the bankers threatened - where would the UK be then?

Arturo and me listened to BBC Radio 4 Any Questions, last week. Would you believe it - Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt - was one of the panel. The programme was broadcast from Sir Winston Churchill's home of Chartwell. In answer to one of the questions, Hunt quoted from a speech of Churchill's :

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm"

"And boy-oh-boy," Arturo said in total disbelief "Jeremy 'Gormless' Hunt would surely know!"

Arturo and me are eating in tonight - we've heard loadsa noises from behind the skirting boards - Arturo says 'There's vermin afoot'!

'Bye'