'Ming vase in the hands of an ape' @ No 10

"Well, well, well! 'Boy David' Cameron had better watch his back!" Arturo muttered.

"You mean, that Miliband chap will soon be the new resident here?" I asked.

"No, stupid! It's that 'Mop-Head' Johnson who he's got to watch out for! Have you learned nothing!! It's not your enemies you need to beware - it's so-called friends!"

I admit to being rather puzzled over this remark. Then I considered the matter. 'Boy David' Cameron's friends have been the ones landing him in the sh**, time after time.

Take for example the owner of the late lamented ex-police horse, Raisa. That red-haired lady's dinner parties were almost the kiss-of-death for both 'Boy David' and 'Georgy' Osborne. In fact, this week when her text messages and emails are to be revealed, 'Boy David' will be on the edge of his seat! My advice is beware of 'friends' inviting you for a kitchen dinner! You may not go home and vomit but you sure as heck may need to eat your words at the next Select Committee investigation or the Leveson Inquiry.

Then, there are the 'friends' of Cameron who have given their advice willy-nilly, such as:

Why not choose Andy Coulson to be your director of communications? He's such a steady chap! He's no longer got a link with News International!

We wait for Coulson's appearance at Leveson! There are wild rumours running through the air about his share portfolio! 'Boy David' Cameron will again be holding fast to the edge of his seat and keeping his fingers crossed - a rather dangerous manoeuvre, particularly if you're riding a horse!

Also, there were pals who suggested Cameron should support the campaign to sell off the forests. That went down like a lead-ballon!

Other 'friends' advised Cameron to let 'Weasel Man' Maude speak out about the petrol crisis. He turned what was a non-crisis into a veritable minefield!

Cameron must have consulted 'friends' and 'advisers' over his now infamous New Year speech in which he said

I will be bold about working to cure the problems of our society. While a few at the top get rewards that seem to have nothing to do with the risks they take or the effort they put in, many others are stuck on benefits, without hope or responsibility. So we will tackle excess in the City just as we’re reforming welfare to make work pay and support families.

http://www.number10.gov.uk/news/2012-new-year-message-from-david-cameron/

As Arturo said to me:

Some tackling! Some reform!

Arturo and I know 'Boy David must have regretted having said that! And if he didn't, we'd say: Just look at the May 4 election results, 'Boy David'! Most voters have long memories. Remember this:

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.

Those, it was said, were the words of Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of America. It's a text that 'Boy David' and Georgy would do well to study, mark and inwardly digest.

Also, one other piece of advice - Tory Prime Ministers and Chancellors have suffered glancing blows from those on the Opposition benches. The real daggers have come from the 'friends' sitting on the benches directly behind them. Nadine Dorries is already sharpening her dagger.

'Be warned: Party bosses only need 46 signatures to ditch the leader. They'll get them by Christmas'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2140153/Nadine-Dorries-warns-David-Cameron-Be-warned-Party-bosses-need-46-signatures-ditch-leader-Theyll-Christmas.

Arturo and I think she's more interested in holding on to her own seat then she is expressing real concern for the plight of the country!

One more tip from us. They'd also better keep a wary eye on City Hall too. Though Boris 'Mop-Head' Johnson was compared to an ape holding a Ming vase when he took over the Spectator - such men are dangerous! Didn't Julius Caesar say that?

As for me and Arturo, we're off to get some toasted brie and grapes to celebrate the results of the French election with Jean-Paul, the Manx cat from Whitehall.

'Bye'