Thursday 5 April 2012

Spivs @ No 10

"I say! I say! I say! When is a 'spiv' not a 'spiv'?" Arturo looked at me in anticipation. "C'mon, give us an answer."

"Why don't you just tell me. You're obviously dying to!" I replied.

"A 'spiv' is not a 'spiv' when he or she is a member of the present Government!" He looked well pleased with himself.

I decided to look up the definition of 'spiv'. It is
a man, typically a flashy dresser, who makes a living by disreputable dealings.
http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/spiv?q=spiv

As usual, Arturo's right. A great deal of spivery has been going on here at Downing Street, in both Nos 10 and 11. What with high paying Tory donors having their chops and mash at the 'kitchen dinners' - real spivery if ever there was! We also have the unedifying sight of the Chancellor 'Georgy' Osborne doing an impression of Robin Hood in reverse - robbing the poor and giving, in bucketsful, to the rich - being one of the latter himself!

Now we have the third member of the Triumverate - not the PM! Not the Chancellor! But the amazing double-take man 'Nicholas Ridiculous' Clegg himself - give him a big hand, folks! This Wonder Man of a Deputy Prime Minister who flirted ever so publically in the Rose Garden of No 10 with 'Boy David' Cameron is now being referred to as a 'poor bastard' by many an erstwhile admirer. Not so much a 'poor bastard' more a 'failed spiv' would be Arturo's judgement.

'Nicholas Ridiculous' Clegg is a bit of a buffoon - he even has the look of a clown - misery etched all over his face - all he lacks is the clown's make-up. But he has acted out the part of the 'spiv' right before our very eyes.

Before him, as with all spivs, is the prospect of a reward. In his case the 'reward' in question is the 'semblance' of power! There are many who would give their all to be Deputy Prime Minister. Instead, this simpering buffoon of a man has given the 'all' of the British people.

How has he done this? By 'signing off' his agreement to a variety of political measures that have caused distress and disgust, in equal portion! Perhaps, he agreed to them in a moment of madness - without reading the small print. Now that is some hope, I'm sure you will agree! But it is better than the alternative - that he knew - and that despite knowing, things still went ahead with his agreement!

What were the political measures? They were the Welfare reforms, the Health and Social Care Bill - to name but two! They did not just slip by the LibDems, they were endorsed by the majority of the LibDem MPs. Hardly the political measures that those who voted for the LibDems imagined!

Today, however, our buffoon, 'Nicholas Ridiculous' Clegg has seen the danger-lights flashing - even buffoons sometimes come down to earth with a bang! He knows that the impending local elections could spell the beginning of the end - not just to his political career - but more poignantly to the Liberal Democrat party as an entity! So he has pulled his finger out and is making frantic gestures in the vein of 'I'm not drowning, I'm waving' variety (apologies to Stevie Smith!).

What has he said/done? He :
has pledged to be more "forceful and remorseless" in explaining Liberal Democrat achievements in government as he criticised the Tories for adopting a "blunderbuss" approach to legislation.
Now, Nick, that sure is 'telling 'em'!

Clegg was quoted in The Guardian by their Chief Political Correspondent, Nicholas Watt continued:
Clegg used a Guardian interview to declare that the time had arrived to stop apologising for the Lib Dem presence in government as he challenged the Tories over plans to create "secret" courts.

He has also been involved in a furious row with the home secretary, Theresa May, over government proposals to give the security services new access to individuals' internet communications. He said he would like civil liberties groups to challenge the plans when they are published as draft clauses for a new parliamentary bill, after the Lib Dem MP Julian Huppert threatened a rebellion.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/04/nick-clegg-attacks-blunderbuss-tories

He has not managed to pull the wool over the eyes of all those who read the quoted interview. The following are some of the comments made:
shemarch:Have you left it too late, Nick? The LibDems have rolled over for their Tory bosses and the only way they could begin to climb back into credibility would be to leave the Coalition, and precipitate a new election.
bullwick:A bit late now isn't it Cleggy with only three years left before you all go !
lewstone1934:The Health and Social Care Bill
The Welfare Reform Bill.
Both these nasty, devisive bills passed due to your weakness and arrogance.
Too little - Too Late Mate.
DespairingDave:Oh do be quiet Nick. Nobody believes for a minute you will really stand up to the Tories on anything of importance. Just be a good little boy and do what Dave tells you (as usual).
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/04/nick-clegg-attacks-blunderbuss-tories
Not much show of either sympathy or support there, Nick!

However, once a 'spiv' always a 'spiv', isn't that what they say? So here we are - a right bunch of geezers, a veritable Spivs United coming in and out of Downing Street. The trouble is these spivs are not just flashing us an eyeful of dodgy watches pinned inside their jackets - no, siree, - they're flashing us an eyeful of 'dirty' self-serving legislation!

Give me a dodgy watch, any day!

Arturo and I are off to find a spiv with some cheap fish! 'Bye'




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