Tea and Little Sympathy @ No 10

What a week at No 10 and there's still one more day to go! No peace for the wicked, eh! Boy David has had a dreadful time. Admittedly, he did have a cup of tea with the Queen and Prince Philip. That was the highlight - a time to relax - a time not to worry about the press - that was as good as it got.

But as for the rest of the week, it's been dreadful. Watching out for another u-turn waiting to trip him up; then falling flat on his face at PMQs when Miliband - Ed that is not David - laid a ripe banana in front of him. He failed to see it and even Theresa May couldn't catch him in time.

He thought that, at least, with Nick Clegg out of the country there would be no more instant quotes given to the press. He had not, of course, realised that Wailing Boy Clegg is an even more adroit public relations man than he is. When I say 'adroit', I should have said 'eager', since adroitness implies a degree of skill and forethought. Needless to say, Wailing Lad Clegg took his mind off his set brief in Brazil: to foster trade relations between the UK and Brazil and turned it back to what was happening in the UK.

Clegg thinks that the Coalition cannot function without an input from him on a regular basis. Never mind the sense, an input is what is needed and an input is what there must be.
So it was that in the midst of a press conference in Brazil, he let it be known that he had written to George Osborne asking them to look into a “mass share ownership scheme” as part of the privatisations of RBS and Lloyds.

Why on earth did he have to say that? He was doing very nicely singing strictly from the hymn sheet. Then, he felt the call of the need to up his profile in the UK - hence the comment.

This has given Boy David another headache that he really didn't want. The announcement from Clegg met with frank astonishment. The scheme is unbelievably complex to deliver. It is likely that the admin costs would outweigh the value of the shares! Also, as many economists have pointed out - now is not the time to consider doing such a thing.

More great news for Boy David - it seems that two of his ministers are not speaking to each other. What is the subject of this falling out? Rubbish bins! Yes, rubbish bins. Eric Pickles, the man who seems to have consumed more pickle than good for him, the Communities Secretary and Caroline Spelman, the Environment Secretary who longed to sell off all our trees, have had an almighty row. Now they are not speaking to each other.

Mr Pickles was talking to Ms Spelman on the telephone. He said to her:

“Why don’t you spend less time speaking to your officials and more time listening to the electorate?”

Ms Spelman was obviously affronted and the two are now not speaking to each other. Frankly, I'd be delighted not to speak to Mr Pickles or Ms Spelman. But that's no way to run a Cabinet, is it?

What will Boy David do? I expect he wishes Clegg would stop talking and that Pickles and Spelman would learn sense. However, Boy David famously said earlier in the week:

I think it is very important ... to think very carefully about what you are about to say.

I just hope he repeats the mantra every morning before he gets out of bed and tells his ministers to do the same.

Maybe, just maybe, next week will be a better one.

So - it's 'bye' from Arturo:

And it's 'bye' from me: