Wednesday 21 December 2011

Sour Pickles @ No 10

"It's end of term fever." Arturo announced. "They're off on yet more jolly old hols and in a rush to get away. You mark my words: 'There'll be tears before bedtime'."

He said this a couple of days ago before the House of Commons had finished its business for the Christmas break. Already, his forecast is pretty accurate. Remember the big strike we had on 30 November? Since then, unions have been in negotiations with various politicians, mainly Danny Alexander. On Tuesday, it looked as if there was success and that there would be no repeat of strike action.

By 20 December, several unions seemed content with the new arrangements they had been discussing. They had set off happily to inform their members of the new offer.

Oliver Wright of The Independent, under the heading: Public sector workers close to pension deal, commented:
... TUC general secretary Brendan Barber said last night that "a new atmosphere" had been apparent in negotiations since the strike.

"We have reached a stage where the emphasis in most cases is in giving active consideration to the new proposals that have emerged rather than considering the prospect of further industrial action," he said.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/public-sector-workers-close-to-pension-deal-6279487.html

It seemed that among the unions, Unison representatives were going back to their members to discuss the new arrangements. Only Mark Serwotka, general secretary of the Public and Commercial Services union, remained unconvinced. He felt that nothing had changed. Serwotka obviously has a Sixth Sense. He sniffed the air and said to himself - someone or some thing is lurking in the wings!

Our 'Little Boy Lost' Danny Alexander was so pleased with himself that he announced to Parliament in his guise as Chief Secretary to the Treasury:
I am pleased to report that heads of agreement have now been established with most unions in the local government, health, civil service and teachers’ schemes. It will of course now be for union executives and memberships to decide their response.

The heads of agreement deliver the Government’s key objectives in full, and do so with no new money since our November offer. In future, scheme pension ages will match the state pension age and schemes will be on a career average basis; all the agreements are within the cost ceiling that I set in November, and will save the taxpayer tens of billions of pounds over the decades to come.

Because heads of agreement have been reached, the better offer that I made in November has been secured by trade unions for their members, including the “no change” guarantee for workers 10 years from retirement. The heads of agreement also deliver a number of the key objectives set out by the trade unions during the talks. Negotiations on them are now concluded, and we and the unions agree that this is the best outcome that can be achieved by negotiation. It is the Government’s final position, and we will bring forward legislation to the House in due course.
http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201011/cmhansrd/cm111220/debtext/111220-0001.htm#11122052000033

Even 'Weasel' Maude was quite upbeat about the 'heads of agreement'. And that is saying something!

Then, out of the blue, the Beast from the Deep emerged. The creature whom Serwotka had sensed was manifest. First came rumours of nobbling! Yes! Nobbling! Who was doing the nobbling? I'll give you two guesses. No - not 'Apple schnapps' Shapps.
No - not 'Disgusting' Clark. Surely, you must have guessed by now - it was the eminence grise who lumbers around behind the backs of unsuspecting, inexperienced Ministers and MPs whispering dark thoughts into their conch-like ears. The one whose smile makes stout men's hearts turn to stone. Yes! You've guessed right. It was the Communities and Local Government Secretary - none other than 'Bagpuss' Eric Pickles.

One needs, of course, to remember that it is Panto season and in 'Bagpuss' Pickles you have Captain Hook and Widow Twanky combined!

So what had evil old Eric been and gone and done?

Just as the applause for the Principal Boy - Danny - was dying down, there were boos and hisses from, among others, Unison. 'Look behind you!', 'He's behind you!' they shouted. Sure enough our Eric was there waving a letter.

What was in the letter? It seems he wanted to add several new caveats to the agreement. The most pernicious one for the unions was the suggestion that the councils’ pension contributions would be capped. In other words, the employer contributions to local government pensions would not be as generous as the original agreement had implied.

As soon as the union negotiators caught the whiff coming from the letter - all hell broke loose!

On the web site of the public service union, their head of local government, Heather Wakefield, was quoted as saying:
The announcement from Eric Pickles undermines trust and confidence in the relationship with the government over negotiations surrounding the LGPS. In order to re-establish confidence, and a way forward, we hope that ministers will meet us as a matter of great urgency in order to get negotiations back on track
(http://www.publicservice.co.uk/news_story.asp?id=18363)

Oh dear! After all the cheering and excitement too. So what is our Eric going to do? According to the public service union web site:
A Department for Communities and Local Government spokesman said: "We are in discussion with the unions to resolve any misunderstanding and reassure them that our intentions have not changed. It would seem the unions have read more into the letter than we intended. We are not imposing any new conditions. To iron out any ambiguity we will issue a new letter. We are confident this can be quickly resolved to the satisfaction of all parties."

One wonders whether our Eric will be burning the midnight oil re-drafting his letter. I guess that Cameron and our 'Little Lost Boy' Danny will be desperate for 'Bagpuss' to find the right words!

Arturo has bought a box of tissues in readiness for those tears he forecast! And after it all seemed to be going so well too!

'Bye'


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