Bank Holiday @ No 10

Quite amazing! There's a hush all over No 10. The Boss, his wife, the kids are all away! Don't even know where our Larry is. Wondered if he'd been taken in his sumptuous cat basket to the country retreat.

You see all the toffs and their pets have a country retreat to go to when the plebs, the 'funny hats', the hoi polloi come into town; and they certainly do on a Bank Holiday! I think it's because they can't bear to rub shoulders with them.

This would be especially the case for Boy David, Samantha, Georgy and his wife the Hon. Frances Victoria Howell, Nick Clegg and Miriam Gonzalez Durantez. Why, you ask? Well, they rubbed shoulders with Royalty on Friday. It's hard to come down to earth with a bump on Saturday - so it's 'off to the sticks', as they say.

Meanwhile, Arturo and I have had a great time! Remember the street party in Downing Street with old Warsi and Barbara Windsor in tow? Well, they were a messy bunch. Crumbs all over the place. We cleared up some of it. But joy of joys! There were loads of mice and rats who had the same idea. A Feast? I ask you!!

Still, it's all back to normal tomorrow! - Wrong! Boy David has arrived back for a special emergency meeting tonight!