No more tan, please, we're British @ No 10

Boy David arrived home yesterday looking pale and wan. To be fair, he'd had a long flight from Nigeria, so it was to be expected. However, it's amazing what a good night's sleep can do for you! This morning, looking tense, not chirpy; looking irritated not happy - he was, however, covered from neck to brow in a pale orange glow! It was a glow that lasted through the gruelling time in the Commons; a glow that lasted during lunch; a glow that was still there this evening. Now - whether this glow has been induced by a sun-lamp or fake spray tan - I cannot say! But, I observed his hands are just as pale as Georgy Osborne's from No 11.

The glow seems very popular amongst the male of the species who are on show - either on TV or somewhere else in the public eye. Indeed, one TV antiques expert is almost the colour of an over-ripe orange! Arturo and I trust that Boy David will have the sense to stop before he becomes the tone of a Mandarin (fruit that is - not Chinese aristocrat!).

Boy David did, of course, need all the morale boosting effects that he could muster. So many questions were being fired at him! He could not appear too pale and frail, could he now?

So - into the fray went our dogged tanned hero. However, he was faced by pale Miliband - Ed, that is, not David - who was primed and ready in the red corner. And he came out fighting. Boy David in the rather insipid blue corner ducked and dodged but several verbose punches landed on him. The knockout came from his very own left fist! Boy David declared to the question about his meetings with anyone from News International and possible discussions about BSkyB:

I have never had one inappropriate conversation.

Now, I ask you - was that a sensible thing to say? For one man's 'inappropriate' is another man's faux-pas/indiscretion/Machiavellian conspiracy/disaster! And from the reaction of the Commons, one could tell his choice of words had also been singly 'inappropriate'.

Put it down to jet-lag. That's what Arturo said rather benevolently! I was not so sure myself. Some newspapers are still full of questions that they want Boy David to answer. Why did he appoint Coulson? Who advised him? (Well we know the answer to that, don't we, my friends?) Did he know that Wallis was also working for the Tory Party? If he didn't know, why didn't he know? And so the questions go on and on and on ... you get the gist, I trust.

It was once said by an ancient philosopher that 'a fool can ask more questions in a day than a wise man can answer in a lifetime?' But maybe it is a foolish man who fails to answer once with 'transparency' when wise men keep asking! Wow! An aphorism, a veritable aphorism - maybe some of the tan from the Mandarin has rubbed off onto my fur!

The story has not ended. Parliament may now be in recess but the questions will go on being asked. Arturo and I will still be keeping our eyes and ears wide open and will report to you.

So it's 'bye' for now from Arturo:

And it's 'bye' for now from me: