e-petitions @ No 10

Wow! I thought when I peered at one of the new intern's computer monitor. She had gone out for a coffee cooler - whatever that is! Her friend was chauntering on about needing a 'latte'. So, while they were out, I nipped onto the desk and peeped at the screen. There in clear script, I read the following:

e-petitions – create and sign petitions online

HM Government's e-petitions site has just been launched. Currently there aren't any e-petitions to search for or sign, however, you can create new ones.

We will begin publishing e-petitions for signing on Thursday 4th August 2011.
What are e-petitions?

e-petitions is an easy way for you to influence government policy in the UK. You can create an e-petition about anything that the government is responsible for and if it gets at least 100,000 signatures, it will be eligible for debate in the House of Commons.

I was gob-smacked! An e-petition sounded good. Then, I realised I didn't know what an e-petition was. So I clicked on 'How e-petitions work'. Whoever designed this page had a five-year-old in mind, not a mature, brilliant feline like me! There were icons of binoculars, electric light bulbs, ticks (not the blood-sucking type - but the tick as opposed to the cross sort). Then there was a pen and a clock - all real sophisticated stuff! Finally, there was the number 100,000. Now, that might be a problem. But I know a cat who has good ideas!

I jumped off the desk and slunk into No 11. Georgy was away and Arturo was scoffing the cream from a doughnut someone had dropped on the floor! he had cream all over his whiskers!

"Do we know 100,000 cats?" I asked Arturo.

"!00,000? Nope! Why?"

"We gotta get 100,000 signatures on an e-petition."

"What you on about, Butch?" I could tell he was getting irritated. Must be the heat.

"I want to send in a petition about the need for public sector workers - that includes you and me - to be treated with respect and rewarded for their loyalty in times of hardship."

"Rewarded! How?" Arturo sat down. The idea of 'rewards' was appealing.

"Well - obviously our human colleagues will want more holidays, better working conditions and - like I said - respect."

"What as in: 'Show some respect, man!'? That sort of 'respect'?"

"Not quite - we're not Ali G, are we? I mean respect in the way you and me don't need to be kicked out of the door, or shooed away; given dainty morsels to eat when we bring in a rat. That sort of respect. The sort of 'respect' that Ollie Letwin knows nothing about!  Remember - Ollie Letwin wants 'discipline and fear' - we could all do with out that!

"Dainty morsels, eh? Well, I could live with that! Could Mark Serwotka live with it? I doubt it! Remember, we're only branch members, Butch. Still ... I like the idea."

"Right then. I'll write out a petition, then we contact High-Tail Tom - he's got contacts with Battersea, the Blue Cross, the RSPCA. By the end of September - we'll have more than 100,000 signatures. Wait and see. Mark Serwotka - take a leaf outta your old pals, Butch and Arturo's book. The name of the game is e-petitions. If you can't beat Ollie Letwin's crazy ideas - get some of your own. That's my motto."

So, my friends, why don't you get up your own e-petition. Just think of the causes ... they're legion. And I'm only just beginning.

As they say: Watch this space!

'Bye' from us both: