Happiness, happiness! @ No 10

Arturo has his morning nap rudely interrupted in No 11. Georgy was in a foul mood over the latest figures published about the economy. Nothing new there! So, being a cat of impeccable taste, he sauntered over to seek out my company. I was delighted. I'd seen a copy of Boy David's much vaunted Wellbeing Index otherwise known as the Happiness Survey. So, I thought I'd try out some questions on my friend, Arturo.

"Hi, Arturo, like to share my saucer of milk?"

Arturo looked puzzled: "Why? What do you want?"

"Nothing except your wellbeing."

"My what?"

"Your wellbeing."

"What is my wellbeing? Never heard of it! What are you up to?"

So I told him about Boy David's great desire to know about the general wellbeing of the nation. How he seemed to think that it was important for his and the country's future to get the balance of life just right. How the Office of National Statistics had devised a clever plan whereby they would be able to judge the finer points of happiness.

Arturo was amused. "Okay, buddy. Fire away - ask me the questions."

"Right - now I don't guarantee that I've got everything just perfect - but here's the gist. Are you comfortable?"

"Oh - get on with it."

"Right - What things in life matter to you? What is well-being?"

"I thought you were telling me!"

"No - you tell me the answers, you fool! What matters to you: Health?

"Well, of course it does! That's a stupid question. Next!"

"Are good connections with friends and family important to you?"

"Well, I'm here talking to you - so the answer's obvious, isn't it?"

"What about good connections with a spouse or partner?"

"Not fussed. Had too many spouses, in the past and don't fancy a new-fangled partner!"

"Are job satisfaction and economic security important for your wellbeing?"

"You mean do I want a warm room, good food and drink and the likelihood of it lasting? Of course! What fool wouldn't!"

"Are you concerned about the present and future conditions of the environment?"

Arturo peered at me closely. "What environment?"

"I dunno ... I suppose it means the world we live in."

"These are plum stupid questions, Butch. Who's going to say they want to be ill, lonely, homeless, starving and in a rat-hole? No-one, that's who! Do you mean to tell me, that good money was spent asking these questions; getting some academic statistician to draw graphs and charts; then getting a sociologist to make profound comments based on these questions!"

I could not answer Arturo's question directly. "I don't think it was quite a straightforward as that." I said, "I think lots of other questions were asked. After all, over 200,000 people responded."

"Really! Nothing better to do - like making friends, talking to children, cooking?"

"You're just being cynical! Listen to what the ONS said about the survey:

(it) highlighted that the things that matter the most are our health, relationships, work and the environment. These are also themes that the majority of respondents agree should be reflected in a measure of national wellbeing, with the addition of education and training.

You know that geezer who walks round here, the one they call G O D, Sir Gus O'Donnell, the cabinet secretary, well he's going to use the results to draw up revisions to the civil service 'green book'."

"Important, is it?" Arturo asked, obviously bored.

"Yes it will guide how ministers direct public funds in future. He says he wants a "social cost/benefit analysis" so they can get the right policies."

"Do you know what, Butch mi old mate, I think some of these humans have got too much time on their hands. I thought the country was in financial straits! If they can spend good dosh on this tosh - well ... I ask you! You and I could have given them all the answers - even before they asked the questions."

With that, Arturo curled up on my cushion and went to sleep! Somehow, I don't think he quite grasped the point ... or maybe he had.


Bye from us both: