I peered over the shoulder of one of the flunkies at No 10 - he was on Twitter. Twitter! I ask you! Why not Miaow! Never trust a bird! Anyway to cut to the chase, as they say. I saw a tweet from someone who said of the Boy David 'Ever the Old Etonian'. I read the article the tweeter was commenting on when the chap at the computer clicked on the link.
It was all about how the Boy David is putting all his PR training to 'good' use. He doesn't tell someone to their face that he's upset with them - oh no! Far too subtle - devious - dastardly - for that! Instead he 'spins' against them, behind their backs. Just when they think they're in favour and doing brilliantly, they discover they are utter fools - demons - idiots!
I think this has gone on for years here at No 10 - but it's worse now because the Boy David smiles so often and tries to look nice! Behind those pink boyish cheeks there lies the cold eye of the serpent! God help Eve!
Actually, it's Larry I'm worried about, not Eve! The Boy David stroked him this morning and said he was a 'good kitty!' - so he's for the chop! When's the Jack Russell arriving?
Monday 28 February 2011
Sunday 27 February 2011
Ed Balls drives Gideon crazy!
Arturo came rushing to find me at lunchtime. I was just about to have the head of a mackerel when he yanked my tail.
"Quick, come next door." Arturo was excited. "Georgy - sorry Gideon - is - well come and see for yourself!"
We slunk round to the backdoor of No 11, then up the stairs. Arturo is a slinky cat and I'm not too bad either. We slithered round the door to a room where Gideon was standing in front of a very large TV. Gideon was red in the face and saying lots of swear words. I peered at the TV to find out why he was so excited.
On the screen was a large man with very bright eyes. He was talking about money and tax and what he would have done. It certainly was not what Gideon thinks. This man, called Ed, said that Gideon and the Boy David did not really know what they were doing. He sounded quite interesting, at least I thought so.
Gideon, however, got increasingly agitated. He was muttering darkly. Then he threw a cushion at Arturo when he caught sight of him under the sofa. Arturo hissed like mad! Gideon threw another cushion and hit the TV. Luckily, it was such a very large TV that it just rocked before settling back on its stand.
The last I saw of Gideon was him biting his own hand! I wasn't sure whether he did this as a punishment for nearly wrecking the TV or because he wanted to hit the man on its screen.
In general, humans are very odd but the lot who live at No 10 and No 11 are odder than most.
"Quick, come next door." Arturo was excited. "Georgy - sorry Gideon - is - well come and see for yourself!"
We slunk round to the backdoor of No 11, then up the stairs. Arturo is a slinky cat and I'm not too bad either. We slithered round the door to a room where Gideon was standing in front of a very large TV. Gideon was red in the face and saying lots of swear words. I peered at the TV to find out why he was so excited.
On the screen was a large man with very bright eyes. He was talking about money and tax and what he would have done. It certainly was not what Gideon thinks. This man, called Ed, said that Gideon and the Boy David did not really know what they were doing. He sounded quite interesting, at least I thought so.
Gideon, however, got increasingly agitated. He was muttering darkly. Then he threw a cushion at Arturo when he caught sight of him under the sofa. Arturo hissed like mad! Gideon threw another cushion and hit the TV. Luckily, it was such a very large TV that it just rocked before settling back on its stand.
The last I saw of Gideon was him biting his own hand! I wasn't sure whether he did this as a punishment for nearly wrecking the TV or because he wanted to hit the man on its screen.
In general, humans are very odd but the lot who live at No 10 and No 11 are odder than most.
Saturday 26 February 2011
Paws at the ready at No 10
The Master returned and Larry came downstairs to visit me. You could have knocked me down with a feather! He walked tail held high and pink nose in the air into the kitchen. Cook had thrown me a scrap of beef. Larry eyed it for a minute, then I grabbed it and swallowed it in one go! Foolish really, I had hiccups all morning.
Anyway, Larry said there was too much frenzy upstairs! Phones ringing, shouting and arms flailing around. 'Why?' I asked.
'Well, you wouldn't understand, Butch."
"Try me!"
"Oh well" Big sigh! "There's been trouble in some place called Libya. Master's been on a long trip and couldn't be expected to do two things at once, could he?"
"What sort of things?"
"Talk to foreigners, sell the UK's genius for making weapons and run the country at the same time."
"Suppose not! Though he obviously thought he could." Larry flashed me a hostile eye! He's dead sold on this 'Master' business!
"He left that fool, the one they call Clegg, in charge! But he forgot he was running the country! Now Master's getting all the flack. I tell you it's not fair!"
"Gee, Larry, I didn't know you could be so loyal."
"He pays the bills, doesn't he? It's purely a question of knowing where your kippers are coming from. If he's booted out, who knows who'll take his place."
I thought about it for a while. Larry's right. I heard that someone wrote to the Boy David and said what they needed at No10 was a Jack Russell! That would spell curtains for both Larry and for me.
I poked my nose out of the door. It was raining! No ratting for me tonight.
Anyway, Larry said there was too much frenzy upstairs! Phones ringing, shouting and arms flailing around. 'Why?' I asked.
'Well, you wouldn't understand, Butch."
"Try me!"
"Oh well" Big sigh! "There's been trouble in some place called Libya. Master's been on a long trip and couldn't be expected to do two things at once, could he?"
"What sort of things?"
"Talk to foreigners, sell the UK's genius for making weapons and run the country at the same time."
"Suppose not! Though he obviously thought he could." Larry flashed me a hostile eye! He's dead sold on this 'Master' business!
"He left that fool, the one they call Clegg, in charge! But he forgot he was running the country! Now Master's getting all the flack. I tell you it's not fair!"
"Gee, Larry, I didn't know you could be so loyal."
"He pays the bills, doesn't he? It's purely a question of knowing where your kippers are coming from. If he's booted out, who knows who'll take his place."
I thought about it for a while. Larry's right. I heard that someone wrote to the Boy David and said what they needed at No10 was a Jack Russell! That would spell curtains for both Larry and for me.
I poked my nose out of the door. It was raining! No ratting for me tonight.
Friday 25 February 2011
Still chaos at No 11 & 10
It's still all hands on deck, you might say, for looking busy in front of the Press.
The Boy David said that 'everything' must be done to get all the remaining Brits out of Libya. We had the Navy here arranging for frigates to be sent. Looks good - Britannia rules the waves and all that! One of the underlings in the office was overheard saying that it was obvious that 'Cameron's only work experience was in PR'. It seems he likes to be seen to be doing his job - even if he isn't, if you know what I mean! Same as old Larry - he's all show and no rats yet!
Then, Arturo from No 11, told me that the Boy David's trip to all those places in the Middle East was not all it seemed. He took lots of arms dealers with him. I asked Arturo how he knew this. He said he'd heard his Boss complaining about some green lady who was telling everyone that it was a disgrace! Selling guns to dictators who'll use them on their own people. That's what she's supposed to have said. I couldn't see what all the fuss was about, personally. If you sell guns, you expect them to be used, don't you?
I told Arturo that I had some news for him. Apparently, Georgy was not named George when he was a baby. He was named Gideon! Arturo didn't believe it. But I showed him a website where it said it all! When Georgy ... sorry Gideon ... was 13 years old, he changed his name to George. He thought that Gideon Osborne PM would not sound quite right!
Arturo sat down hard and flicked his tail to and fro. I could tell he was confused.
"Never mind," I said, "just think what an asset Gideon was!" But Arturo didn't know what I was on about. I said, "he cast down the altars of Baal." Arturo didn't listen, he stomped off, round the back garden to No 11.
When he had gone, I noticed a bowl of cream on the table, next to a silver coffee pot. No one around, so I had a good old lick!
Wonder what the modern equivalent of Baal's altars is for Gideon, next door!
The Boy David said that 'everything' must be done to get all the remaining Brits out of Libya. We had the Navy here arranging for frigates to be sent. Looks good - Britannia rules the waves and all that! One of the underlings in the office was overheard saying that it was obvious that 'Cameron's only work experience was in PR'. It seems he likes to be seen to be doing his job - even if he isn't, if you know what I mean! Same as old Larry - he's all show and no rats yet!
Then, Arturo from No 11, told me that the Boy David's trip to all those places in the Middle East was not all it seemed. He took lots of arms dealers with him. I asked Arturo how he knew this. He said he'd heard his Boss complaining about some green lady who was telling everyone that it was a disgrace! Selling guns to dictators who'll use them on their own people. That's what she's supposed to have said. I couldn't see what all the fuss was about, personally. If you sell guns, you expect them to be used, don't you?
I told Arturo that I had some news for him. Apparently, Georgy was not named George when he was a baby. He was named Gideon! Arturo didn't believe it. But I showed him a website where it said it all! When Georgy ... sorry Gideon ... was 13 years old, he changed his name to George. He thought that Gideon Osborne PM would not sound quite right!
Arturo sat down hard and flicked his tail to and fro. I could tell he was confused.
"Never mind," I said, "just think what an asset Gideon was!" But Arturo didn't know what I was on about. I said, "he cast down the altars of Baal." Arturo didn't listen, he stomped off, round the back garden to No 11.
When he had gone, I noticed a bowl of cream on the table, next to a silver coffee pot. No one around, so I had a good old lick!
Wonder what the modern equivalent of Baal's altars is for Gideon, next door!
Thursday 24 February 2011
Chaos at No10 (part 2)
Woke up from my afternoon nap! Arturo, from No 11, told me that Georgy is laughing his head off. I asked why. Arturo says Georgy's glad it's not his problems that are hitting the headlines - for a change!
Boy David was issuing orders via his Blackberry! Hope he had a secure line! Never know what bas**** is hacking their way in. Whatever he said - it stirred Clegg up! He ran round in circles. Didn't know what to do! He'd promised the wife they'd be on holiday! What was worse the wrath of the wife or the ridicule in the tabloids? The tabloids won! Clegg will stay and get the Brits back from Libya - even if he has to do it himself by swimming the Mediterranean!
Now that's what I call a REAL Deputy! Just hope the OK Corral isn't round the corner!
Boy David was issuing orders via his Blackberry! Hope he had a secure line! Never know what bas**** is hacking their way in. Whatever he said - it stirred Clegg up! He ran round in circles. Didn't know what to do! He'd promised the wife they'd be on holiday! What was worse the wrath of the wife or the ridicule in the tabloids? The tabloids won! Clegg will stay and get the Brits back from Libya - even if he has to do it himself by swimming the Mediterranean!
Now that's what I call a REAL Deputy! Just hope the OK Corral isn't round the corner!
Chaos @ No 10!
After a hard night hunting rats, I nipped back to the comfort of the main office at No 10. Ah! I thought, it'll be a quiet day - good for a nap under the radiator!
But I was wrong! The Boy David was on the blower to a small flustered woman. I could hear him shouting about the 'bloody chaos!'. Didn't know what he meant - but I gathered from what the woman said, when she put the phone down, that he thought the growly-purry voiced man and his 'Deputy PM' should have been more 'pro-active' about Libya!
Seems he is worried about his 'image'. Not so sure he's as bothered about the people stuck out in the desert as he is about the way people are moaning. What a shower!!
The Deputy PM came sheepishly into No 10 later on. He said he'd forgotten that he was supposed to run the country while the Boy David was swanning round the Middle East and eating sheep's eyes. Then, he said he hoped it would all be settled by the end of the week because he was going on holiday!
It's a good job I don't have the same attitude to catching rats! No 10 is full to bursting with rats. But, I'll let you into a little secret - not all the rats have four feet!
But I was wrong! The Boy David was on the blower to a small flustered woman. I could hear him shouting about the 'bloody chaos!'. Didn't know what he meant - but I gathered from what the woman said, when she put the phone down, that he thought the growly-purry voiced man and his 'Deputy PM' should have been more 'pro-active' about Libya!
Seems he is worried about his 'image'. Not so sure he's as bothered about the people stuck out in the desert as he is about the way people are moaning. What a shower!!
The Deputy PM came sheepishly into No 10 later on. He said he'd forgotten that he was supposed to run the country while the Boy David was swanning round the Middle East and eating sheep's eyes. Then, he said he hoped it would all be settled by the end of the week because he was going on holiday!
It's a good job I don't have the same attitude to catching rats! No 10 is full to bursting with rats. But, I'll let you into a little secret - not all the rats have four feet!
Wednesday 23 February 2011
No 10 - All Paws on Deck!
Much rushing to and fro today! Scurryings from the FCO to No 10! Red faces all round. Someone made a real booboo, that's what I heard.
I was curled up, nice and cosy under a radiator in the Cabinet Office - very comfy in there! They do look after themselves, I must say. No expense spared. Anyway - I slunk away behind a curtain, not sure what this load of toffs would think of old Butch here! Just as warm behind the curtain, though.
A smallish man with a shiny bald head and a strange voice, a cross between a growl and a purr, began getting very excited. He said that Alastair Burk - or was it Burt, had f***** up! I became interested. How had this Burk F***** up, I wondered?
It seems, the FCO had said a plane was on its way to rescue Britons in Libya! But it wasn't! The FCO men were shouting and protesting that 'it wasn't our fault!' The funny chap said he'd heard the 'Today' programme and they'd even f***** up over that because there were loads of Britons stuck out in the desert! Why hadn't he been told? he got very upset!
Then, the TV was switched on and a posh man said: 'If the French, Portuguese, Germans, Turks and Russians were prepared, why wasn't the FCO?!" Everyone in the room went silent.
I thought the room was now empty and I could go back to sleep. But I was wrong. There was a mass stampede out of the office and down the corridor. I heard the front door slam - not once, not twice but three times. The man with the growly-purry voice was still sitting there, his head in his hands. Felt rather sorry for him really!
Still, it's not my problem, is it? I guess the Boy David will yell at them all, when he gets back. It's made him look rather silly, after all. He was playing the great British leader out there in the Middle East and it turns out his Government can't organise a p*** up in a brewery!!
I was curled up, nice and cosy under a radiator in the Cabinet Office - very comfy in there! They do look after themselves, I must say. No expense spared. Anyway - I slunk away behind a curtain, not sure what this load of toffs would think of old Butch here! Just as warm behind the curtain, though.
A smallish man with a shiny bald head and a strange voice, a cross between a growl and a purr, began getting very excited. He said that Alastair Burk - or was it Burt, had f***** up! I became interested. How had this Burk F***** up, I wondered?
It seems, the FCO had said a plane was on its way to rescue Britons in Libya! But it wasn't! The FCO men were shouting and protesting that 'it wasn't our fault!' The funny chap said he'd heard the 'Today' programme and they'd even f***** up over that because there were loads of Britons stuck out in the desert! Why hadn't he been told? he got very upset!
Then, the TV was switched on and a posh man said: 'If the French, Portuguese, Germans, Turks and Russians were prepared, why wasn't the FCO?!" Everyone in the room went silent.
I thought the room was now empty and I could go back to sleep. But I was wrong. There was a mass stampede out of the office and down the corridor. I heard the front door slam - not once, not twice but three times. The man with the growly-purry voice was still sitting there, his head in his hands. Felt rather sorry for him really!
Still, it's not my problem, is it? I guess the Boy David will yell at them all, when he gets back. It's made him look rather silly, after all. He was playing the great British leader out there in the Middle East and it turns out his Government can't organise a p*** up in a brewery!!
Tuesday 22 February 2011
The Boy David away
You know what they say 'While the cat's ....' Well - in this case 'When the Boy David's ...'
And have 'they' been playing?
Too right, they have. First of all that chap, Grovel is it? No Gove, I think that's more like it. He needs to re-think his ideas, I heard some chap saying. I was under the table at the time, you understand. They were eating salmon sandwiches, the chaps who were talking. Messy eaters too. So, I got my fair share of salmon!
Anyway, one of them said that Grovel, sorry Gove, could be in trouble with his reforms! First he wants all the schools to be free!! And he's a Tory!! Now, he wants all the orphanages closed down and all the children adopted. He thinks the State will save money that way. Bring down the State debt, so he seems to think, save the taxpayers' money and all that. But one of the chaps said, he doesn't know his ar... from his head - or words to that effect! The State will be paying out masses in benefits.
Now - if this Grovel/Gove chap had said each family in the UK had to adopt an unwanted cat or kitten - just like the Boy David and his family - then I think we'd all agree he did know his ar.. from his head.
Must go hunting - now the Boy David is far away on his travels putting the world to rights!!! So I heard, the rats are sure to come out of the woodwork! And I'm here to get them. Larry's fast asleep on the sofa!
And have 'they' been playing?
Too right, they have. First of all that chap, Grovel is it? No Gove, I think that's more like it. He needs to re-think his ideas, I heard some chap saying. I was under the table at the time, you understand. They were eating salmon sandwiches, the chaps who were talking. Messy eaters too. So, I got my fair share of salmon!
Anyway, one of them said that Grovel, sorry Gove, could be in trouble with his reforms! First he wants all the schools to be free!! And he's a Tory!! Now, he wants all the orphanages closed down and all the children adopted. He thinks the State will save money that way. Bring down the State debt, so he seems to think, save the taxpayers' money and all that. But one of the chaps said, he doesn't know his ar... from his head - or words to that effect! The State will be paying out masses in benefits.
Now - if this Grovel/Gove chap had said each family in the UK had to adopt an unwanted cat or kitten - just like the Boy David and his family - then I think we'd all agree he did know his ar.. from his head.
Must go hunting - now the Boy David is far away on his travels putting the world to rights!!! So I heard, the rats are sure to come out of the woodwork! And I'm here to get them. Larry's fast asleep on the sofa!
Monday 21 February 2011
First Weekend @ No 10
Well - I caught my first rat! Not actually in No 10, I have to admit. But on the doorstep of No 11. There he was - for it was a he - sitting bold as brass chewing on a disgarded packet of fags! He smelled strongly of cointreau. Whether he had found a half drunk glass or had the liquid thrown over him, I cannot tell. Neither can he now!
I told Arturo (remember him!) about it. He was rather miffed. He said that rat soused in cointreau would have suited him nicely. I told him it gave me indigestion. Whether it was the rat or the cointreau, I can't tell.
Anyway - the Boy David was up bright and early. All the flunkies scurrying round to get him to the airport on time. He was up early practising his Arabic! I told Larry to tip the wink to Boy David's wife that a miniature statue of the cat God, Bast, would not come amiss. Ignorant bloke that he is, Larry had never heard of Bast. So I'll have to educate him. He's not really the sort to read though. Now Boy David's children have discovered the joys of owning a moggy, all Larry's cat instincts - if he ever had any - have left him!
I left these pics on the front doorstep of No 10 - who knows whether one of the flunkies will know what's meant. Just my luck though, it'll be windy and blow into that Nick Robinson chaps trouser turn-ups!
I told Arturo (remember him!) about it. He was rather miffed. He said that rat soused in cointreau would have suited him nicely. I told him it gave me indigestion. Whether it was the rat or the cointreau, I can't tell.
Anyway - the Boy David was up bright and early. All the flunkies scurrying round to get him to the airport on time. He was up early practising his Arabic! I told Larry to tip the wink to Boy David's wife that a miniature statue of the cat God, Bast, would not come amiss. Ignorant bloke that he is, Larry had never heard of Bast. So I'll have to educate him. He's not really the sort to read though. Now Boy David's children have discovered the joys of owning a moggy, all Larry's cat instincts - if he ever had any - have left him!
I left these pics on the front doorstep of No 10 - who knows whether one of the flunkies will know what's meant. Just my luck though, it'll be windy and blow into that Nick Robinson chaps trouser turn-ups!
Saturday 19 February 2011
On Patrol
Horrible night - poured with rain. Even an old alley cat like me doesn't hunt in the rain. So, I crept round to the basement and listened to the gossip.
One of the blokes, who does Dave Boy's general bidding, was talking about our Larry. he said that the woman from Battersea Dogs Home (says it all, doesn't it?) Claire Horton described Larry as a 'bit of a bruiser'. She said he was well up for the job of catching rats.
Huh! I said to myself, that's what she thinks. Right now he's snuggled up in someone's bed! And it's me doing the ratting - or rather I would - if it didn't rain.
One of the other blokes said that the ex-PM's old girl is writing her memoirs! She'll have some tales to tell, I bet! Wonder how many rats were running round here then!
Arturo, remember? The cat in No11. He tells me that all hell broke out there last night when Georgy heard the news item about Barclays Bank! It seems he threw a cushion at Arturo - he missed. He's a poor shot, so Arturo says.
Hang on! I just smelled a rat! Smells like a big one! Back to work.
One of the blokes, who does Dave Boy's general bidding, was talking about our Larry. he said that the woman from Battersea Dogs Home (says it all, doesn't it?) Claire Horton described Larry as a 'bit of a bruiser'. She said he was well up for the job of catching rats.
Huh! I said to myself, that's what she thinks. Right now he's snuggled up in someone's bed! And it's me doing the ratting - or rather I would - if it didn't rain.
One of the other blokes said that the ex-PM's old girl is writing her memoirs! She'll have some tales to tell, I bet! Wonder how many rats were running round here then!
Arturo, remember? The cat in No11. He tells me that all hell broke out there last night when Georgy heard the news item about Barclays Bank! It seems he threw a cushion at Arturo - he missed. He's a poor shot, so Arturo says.
Hang on! I just smelled a rat! Smells like a big one! Back to work.
Friday 18 February 2011
Report !
Well - I prowled the ground floor of No 10 all night. Then I looked for the cat flap! Not one in sight! If Dave Boy expects to be rat free, he'll have to put in a cat flap. I gather from Arturo, the big ginger tom next door in No 11, that cat flaps are not tolerated in any of the front doors facing Downing Street. Why? You ask. It seems both Dave Boy and Georgy are very aware of their positions in life. It would be infra-dig to have a scraggy old cat crawling in and out of the door when the TV cameras are fixed on it.
Now, that strikes me as plain daft. They prefer to have rats scurrying across their thresholds but think cat-flaps are beneath them. I'll never fathom these humans.
Did I catch a rat? Well, no, actually. I found a mouse and 3 cockroaches but so far no rat!
Today, Dave Boy and Georgy were rehearsing their lines on what they call AV. Whatever that is, it doesn't sound too appetising. They became quite excited when they talked about someone or something called Clegg. I must ask Larry what this Clegg might be. Is it a rat? If so, maybe tonight I'll catch him.
Now, that strikes me as plain daft. They prefer to have rats scurrying across their thresholds but think cat-flaps are beneath them. I'll never fathom these humans.
Did I catch a rat? Well, no, actually. I found a mouse and 3 cockroaches but so far no rat!
Today, Dave Boy and Georgy were rehearsing their lines on what they call AV. Whatever that is, it doesn't sound too appetising. They became quite excited when they talked about someone or something called Clegg. I must ask Larry what this Clegg might be. Is it a rat? If so, maybe tonight I'll catch him.
Thursday 17 February 2011
Sawdust on the floor
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I thought I'd caught my first rat late this afternoon. I crept round just behind the front door of No 10. Old Larry was purring his head off. He'd eaten fresh cod and cream!
I couldn't complain, I'd had several licks of caviar in No 11. They lead quite a life in there, I can tell you. I gather some of the bankers had sent the caviar round to George, as a special 'thank you' for not being too hard on them!
Anyway to cut to the chase - I heard some strange noises behind the front door, as I told you. Then I smelled something strange. It was a bit like fir cones - nothing like rat at all. In fact, it was fir cones and sawdust. I overheard one of the PPSs saying that Caroline Spelman had visited the Boy David. She'd eaten humble pie, they laughed! Funny, I thought, I didn't know humble pie was made from sawdust!
Must go - got hunting to do. Got to catch a rat or two - seems like I'll have no trouble finding them.
I couldn't complain, I'd had several licks of caviar in No 11. They lead quite a life in there, I can tell you. I gather some of the bankers had sent the caviar round to George, as a special 'thank you' for not being too hard on them!
Anyway to cut to the chase - I heard some strange noises behind the front door, as I told you. Then I smelled something strange. It was a bit like fir cones - nothing like rat at all. In fact, it was fir cones and sawdust. I overheard one of the PPSs saying that Caroline Spelman had visited the Boy David. She'd eaten humble pie, they laughed! Funny, I thought, I didn't know humble pie was made from sawdust!
Must go - got hunting to do. Got to catch a rat or two - seems like I'll have no trouble finding them.
My arrival
So - you saw Larry! What a fuss and bother! We had to have him though - he's the front man - a real pussy cat! All clean fur and big eyes. But can he catch a rat? No siree! He's just for show.
Me - I was shunted in through the back door. I'm the real rat-catcher. The name's Butch. Yep! That's me, Butch by name and butch by nature. I'm the one who's going to get this place knocked into shape. And, believe me, that's what's needed round here.
Dave Boy, the so-called Big Cheese, he don't seem to know one end from another, if you get my gist! One minutes he says 'Yes' to any old idea. Then, he gets the eebee-geebees and changes his mind. So, you see he had to get a cat like Larry, didn't he? Looks a real smooth pussy cat but turns out to have claws like razors when anyone from the Press gets near him. Par for the course for old Dave Boy. He just can't get the right image - bet he misses Coulson!
What about the rats, you ask? Well, there's plenty of them round here. Big ones, small ones and some as big as your head. I'll do my patrol tonight in case that Nick Robinson chap films right outside the No 10 front door. Can't have old Larry's name being besmirched for not doing the job.
Oh! Better go, there's going to be a big gathering of rats next door at No 11, or the Chancellor's home, as they call it. I got the whisper that there's lots of caviar been stuffed into a corner after Georgy's lunch party. I think he tried to hide it before Vince Cable got there. Didn't want to share it, so the cat next door told me. But the rats are already gathering for a feast. So, I'll have to help out.
See you tomorrow. Remember to paws at No 10.
Me - I was shunted in through the back door. I'm the real rat-catcher. The name's Butch. Yep! That's me, Butch by name and butch by nature. I'm the one who's going to get this place knocked into shape. And, believe me, that's what's needed round here.
Dave Boy, the so-called Big Cheese, he don't seem to know one end from another, if you get my gist! One minutes he says 'Yes' to any old idea. Then, he gets the eebee-geebees and changes his mind. So, you see he had to get a cat like Larry, didn't he? Looks a real smooth pussy cat but turns out to have claws like razors when anyone from the Press gets near him. Par for the course for old Dave Boy. He just can't get the right image - bet he misses Coulson!
What about the rats, you ask? Well, there's plenty of them round here. Big ones, small ones and some as big as your head. I'll do my patrol tonight in case that Nick Robinson chap films right outside the No 10 front door. Can't have old Larry's name being besmirched for not doing the job.
Oh! Better go, there's going to be a big gathering of rats next door at No 11, or the Chancellor's home, as they call it. I got the whisper that there's lots of caviar been stuffed into a corner after Georgy's lunch party. I think he tried to hide it before Vince Cable got there. Didn't want to share it, so the cat next door told me. But the rats are already gathering for a feast. So, I'll have to help out.
See you tomorrow. Remember to paws at No 10.
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