Rehearsals @ No 10

Well - I never thought I'd watch two grown men taking turns at pulling faces at each other and trying to guess which one looked the more sincere. But that's what I spied today. Boy David and the one called Clegg had been deep in conversation for sometime. I couldn't catch all they were saying except for when Boy David said "We have to look as though we really and truly believe what we say."

Clegg gave that well known boyish grin guaranteed to set the ladies' hearts fluttering. "Like this, do you mean?" He looked as though a sweet smelling rose had been held in front of his nose.

Boy David peered closely at him and then nodded very slightly, "Yes - that's quite good, quite effective. How did you get that look?"

"I thought of Lady Gaga!" Clegg laughed - "she has a strange effect on most people, especially men."

"Not on me! It wouldn't work for me!" Boy David was rather peevish about it. "I think I'll just use my normal look."

"What's that, when it's at home?" Clegg was visibly smirking now.

"The look I used when I said that 'It's a huge privilege and an honour and a great responsibility to take on this job.' Everyone thought I was being quite humble."

"No they didn't, they knew all along that you were an old Etonian and humility isn't exactly a noted Eton quality! Unlike a lad like me from Westminster School. No, I suggest you close your eyes for a minute and think of something that really sends you."

I peered closely at Boy David. He did just what he'd been told. He actually closed his eyes. His face changed dramatically, after a few seconds. Clegg grinned.

"You've got it! As they said in 'My Fair Lady', 'By Jove, you've got it! Now what was it? I want some of that!"

Boy David opened his eyes and smiled. "Never you mind, Clegg. You stick to your Lady Gaga fantasy and I'll stick to mine. It'll be hard when we're trying to convince the people we're sincere about the NHS. But ... it might just work. Especially when everyone looks at Lansley's face!"

The two of them laughed! They slapped each other on the back and walked out of the front door.

I was, to put it mildly, rather gobsmacked! But then the PM was PR in his youth and our lad, Clegg, is PR to his bones. I pity the British public : one such politician as PM is bad enough but a second one as Deputy PM. I ask you, what chance does the country stand? More important, what chance does the NHS have?

Fortunately, the local vet is brilliant and he gives his services freely to the Blue Cross. Glad I'm not a human!