Weeping behind the door @ No 10

I said that it was all quiet yesterday, now that Boy David and wife are off for a celebratory jaunt. Well, I counted the proverbial chickens!

I forgot that while the Boss is away, his Deputy has the miserable function of standing in for him. And Deputy Clegg is not the man he once thought he was! There was a song one of my former owners used to play incessantly on his Walkman. It was so loud that I could hear it through his headphones. The song was something like 'I shot the Sheriff but I didn't shoot the Deputy ...' I didn't much care for it. However, when I saw and heard Clegg, I thought about it. He obviously thinks that the world is out gunning for him!

He has done nothing but moan, moan and moan since he arrived here. He said he's being used like a punchbag! Well, I thought, he's a politician, isn't he? Isn't that what all politicians are? No one really likes a politician, do they? We know they're all lying bastards in the end. Some manage to keep their halos a bit longer than most but, in reality, we know they never really say what they mean; or do what they promise. The last lot even robbed us blind. By us, I mean you, of course! As an alley cat, I get by whatever!

Clegg is a prize example of a man who didn't have to strive to climb the greasy pole! He was shoved right up to the top. Didn't have to do anything - just smile a boyish smile and simper a boyish simper! Then, things got a bit hot! He was amazed, so I'm told. Could not believe what was happening! Why wasn't he loved and showered with kisses?

Well, of course the Boss is also facing reality but he never started by being adored. Everyone recognised him for what he was, right from the start. A slimy ... Still, they say every dog has his day! I think the Boss and his Deputy will have a very short day. The Boss will have a longer day though. Why? Because he has a load of slimy, self-interested So-and-Sos behind him. If he fails, they fail and they won't have that!

Still, that day has not yet come! And today I have poor old Clegg looking like a shadow of himself. He even smiled at me! He bent down to stroke me. Could not believe it! Normally, I hiss and spit when someone goes to stroke me. I didn't have the heart! I thought I saw a tear in his eye, so I gritted my teeth and let him pat my back!

I thought about it later. Maybe if even this old alley cat feels sorry for Clegg, others will too. Maybe Boy David will offer him an ambassador's job to the US. That's more his cup of tea. Or more likely his glass of champagne. You see poor Clegg doesn't like heat and this kitchen is going to get very hot. As a better man once said 'If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!' Clegg, get out of politics, it's not for you!

To soothe my soul, I'm going rat catching with Arturo tonight!